Partner of a Pilot
The Candid Diary of an Airline Pilot’s Girlfriend

Hands off my Pilot, HO!


Bf just rang to say goodnight… Some hostie (from a different UK airline also staying in the same hotel as his crew are), who will here on in be referred to as: ‘the cheap ho’ just tried it on with him… So, naturally, he told her about me and Baby, as a gentle way of letting her down and letting her know that he was not interested, without hurting her feelings; but the CHEAP HO (excuse my language) responded by saying:

“Oh you must find it must so difficult to be in a relationship with someone from outside the industry, they just don’t understand do they?” (whilst placing her hand on him in a ‘friendly’, ‘reassuring’ way)

He recoiled, quite shocked and reviled by her tasteless and tacky behaviour.  He rarely confronts people in a conversation, but clearly he knew subtlety was not enough, and so he was thankfully quite assertive in setting her straight! He told her that he would choose me over a hostie any day; since he felt it would actually be much harder (in so many) ways, since both partners in a couple working airline rosters, and being away from home, in different time zones etc was not his idea of how family life should be.

He has also said that he could never live with someone that does the job she does, because he would struggle to deal with the ‘cabin crew party culture’.  Whilst they don’t all party hard, cabin crew seem to party far more, and far harder than flight deck do. At this point, one of the female hosties from his own crew piped up to support him, saying that she is in a relationship with a short-haul pilot from yet another UK (budget airline); and said her boyfriend totally struggles with their relationship on all levels; especially trust; because he knows the industry better than say-I might! She said that it has made their relationship very difficult to maintain and progress, and she felt that it was far harder to make a relationship work ‘inside’ the industry.

I am SEETHING with anger that the vile cheap ho tried to see if she could chip away at any doubts he ‘might’ have had in his relationship with me; and was prepared to continue in her attempt to seduce him, despite knowing she could potentially wreck a family, rather than backing off when he sent out the subtle ‘I’m not available’ signals, and accepting he is a happy family man who just wasn’t interested in her desperate attempts to pull him!

I’m SO glad though, that he put the cheap ho in her place and was honest with me about it. I feel reassured that we have a close enough bond, and enough trust between us that he can tell me these things, because it’s especially reassuring to know that he asserts himself in those situations, when he knows he needs to.  I’m also glad that another member of his own crew backed him up.  Apparently the cheap ho disappeared with her tail between her legs after that.  Her fellow crew members proceeded to tell Bf and his crew that the cheap ho was always desperately trying to snag a man!

Bf said that after that, he almost pitied her, because (in his own words)

“She obviously thinks that’s the way to go about getting herself a man, but… Well: she’ll never find what she’s looking for that way will she?”

It made me smile.  I know that he is an attractive man, after all, I fancy him-so I’d never expect that other women wouldn’t to find him attractive too!   However, I am totally disgusted by anyone who won’t respect the sanctity of other peoples relationships and families!

What is wrong with some people?!

I’d love to know who she was so that I could send her a picture of my family, and give her a piece of my mind-maybe she’d actually think twice before trying to chip cracks into other peoples relationships?  I’d take some comfort in the fact that she doesn’t work at Bf’s airline, but I feel sorry for the people who’s airline she does work for.

I am just thankful that Bf acted in a way that I could be proud of, and following on from my pledge two posts down, I made sure to voice my feelings of love and pride for the way he conducted himself.  It would have been very easy to direct my frustration at the wrong person in this scenario, and bend his ear, but that just wouldn’t be fair since he conducted himself exactly as I would’ve hoped. So, I decided to vent on here instead-far more productive and cathartic!

It reminded me of a great post I read recently on a blog entry by ‘Pilot’s Wife To Be’ called Air Hostess: Friend or FoeThe Cheap Ho is definitely a typecast category 2, desperate hostie, and the lovely member of crew who backed up Bf, is a typical category 3, ‘Normal, quite similar to me hostie’. I recommend you have a read; I only wish I’d written it myself!

N.B – These comments have linked discussions going on within them:

Pilot’s who Cheat, and are then stupid enough to BRAG about it!

When Pilots cheat

Reminiscing about the roller coaster of feelings I had about how I’d cope with being an airline pilot’s girlfriend before he was qualified

Your bullets cannot harm ME! MY wings are like a shield of steel!

131 Responses to “Hands off my Pilot, HO!”

  1. How annoying! I would be angry if I was in your position too but think of it this way she is obviously sad and lonely and as bf said will not get a man that way – not a half decent one anyway! While you have your man coming home to you she has nobody. Totally deserved though coming on to a man who has a partner and a child! Will some people never learn??

  2. Um yea…..that is way out of line and utterly rediculous!!!!!!!!!!! I would have been so upset!!!! Just remember that he is yours and she just has to go on miserable, bitter, and alone!!! HAHA!!!! These women need to get it through there heads to back off the men in relationships!!!! FIND YOUR OWN, leave the taken ones alone!!!!! 🙂

  3. I would be pissed. Wouldn’t you just love to meet her one day when you were with your man? Just look down on her and pity her in person.

    • Um YES! HAHAHAHA! Preferably with my children in tow to maybe twinge her guilty conscience-IF she even has a conscience!

  4. Some women really have no respect do they. My pilot does short haul, thank god he doesn’t do over nights. I trust him but the thought of silly little girls throwing themselves at him would make me feel sick and I would want to kill them!! You must have the patience of a saint. Well done for not shouting at him, it’s all too easy to take it out on them when there is no one else to vent at!!

    • It is the most annoying thing in the world, but it’s something I guess everyone faces from time to time. Like you say-NO respect…

  5. I am not so sure if she is lonely. There are just people like her. But let me say this, don’t be too upset. Your pilot told you all this so you would not worry. So, stay calm. He loves you that’s clear.

  6. Name and shame…Gemma Bernard…British airways. watch out for her!

  7. I wish I COULD name and shame!

  8. Fantastic idea. Lets name and shame all the nasty pieces of work, so that if we ever see that our husbands//bfs are flying with them, we can warn them in advance to watch out for there manipulative and devious ways.

  9. Look, just a warning: I had a pilot boyfriend who also told me all the advances he didn’t respond to in order to build my trust. That meant he was able to pursue flings without raising my suspicions. Be careful! Men are very manipulative when it comes to sex and deceit.

    • Sandra, I hear what you’re saying, but Bf is very honest with me brutally so. He has come clean with me when he slipped up too. That is WHY he is faultlessly honest now. He cant even look at me if he has something to hide.

  10. Oh honey, what a b**ch! I am enraged for you!

  11. I would not mention anybody’s name if nothing happened. After all, pilots are supposed to be responsible people; if they cannot just say no, then you have a problem and it is not just the air hostess to blame then. So, your pilot said no. It’s worth a compliment. Stay calm to show he has done well by rejecting her. Otherwise, next time he won’t tell you, because it upsets you anyway.

  12. Sandra – I don’t think that is the case here, as he has also come home and told me when he has slipped up and broken my trust on one occasion. He couldt lie to save his life!

    Pilot’s very patient gf – I can see what you’re saying to a certain extent, but I still disagree, because I’m not pissed off at HIM (and he knows that) we were BOTH annoyed at her behaviour. I think people who have no respect for other people’s relationships and families deserve to be named and shamed.

  13. Yes, it is annoying, but the thing is: she could list down all the names of (married) pilots she had on the internet as well and then it backfires at you.
    I have a friend who was approached in this “special” way by an HO, she was happily married and all (god knows what he did), but needed a thrill every now and then with a pilot, married or not. She would be the last one to make “her list”, but some may be even proud or happy to do so or couldn’t care less. That is the danger.

  14. Well, I would personally WANT to hear about it if my man had cheated, so for me, that’s an added benefit! The more fear that these people have about their skelletons finding their way out of the closet, the less likely they are to do the dirty deed as far as I’m concerned!

    In fact I have a post on here where hosties have already taken to naming and shaming pilots who cheat.

  15. HAYLEY BOOKER – FIRST CHOICE AIRWAYS – Apparently has a boyfriend, but still thought nothing of trying to steal mine. She looks quite normal, but don’t let that fool you, oh, and her voice doesnt match the face-she’s as thick as two short planks and sounds like a right chav… SLAG!

  16. My husband had an affair with one of the station managers in Burbank. Skybus was the name of the company. If anyone knows the last name of Tina the station manager there from April 07 to April 08. Please let me know. She was also married. I just found out 6 weeks ago. They have been e-mailing for the last year even though we have moved to India before I found out. How long does the pain last?

    • A long time if your husband wont fully disclose information to you! How can you re-build trust if he wont come fully clean and allow you closure?


    • My pilot fiance, also BA, has probably cheated. He also would tell me whenever a woman would come on to him – as such, I totally trusted him to be abroad. What a dumn b*tch I am. Found about about his affairs. Utterly, utterly out of the blue as I have known him for many years – he never did this before becoming a pilot, but all the woman throwing themselves at him was obviously easy pickings. I hate stewardesses, I hate pilots! And, I hate woman who hear the word ‘pilot’ and that’s it, they just want sex with the guy.

  17. I suspect my pilot husband is messing around with compass fa’s.
    He doesn’t wear his wedding ring and is texting in secret. Anybody know someone from compass?

    • That does sound suss. Have you thought about checking his phone or intercepting his emails? Have you asked him directly?

      The only other thing I could suggest is installing a key logger on his PC. I know that Carrie did that and successfully caught out her husband.

      Before you do anything like this I suggest you know what you would do with the information if your suspicions are confirmed?

      • His phone is locked and he has restricted me now from access to his cell phone access. He has ordered only a summary bill, not a detailed bill. Thought about key stroke software, but if he learned of it, that would not be forgiveable in his eyes. He denies everything, but there are too many signs. If I did learn he was messing around, that would be the end of the marriage I guess.
        Financially things might be tough, and of course, rough on the kids.
        If I learned the flight attendant’s name, I don’t think I would not be able to say something to her.

        • Well that is MORE THAN suspect. I would point blank demand he ask the phone company for a detailed break down-say he’s queryi the Bill if need be!

          If he refuses toe open, then he has somethi to hide. If you suspect-he should WANT to be open. Ask to see his texts.

          If he refuses all of this-you have your answer


    • Hello Wife of Compass Pilot,

      Do yourself a favor…go to Radio Shack and get a $20 voice activated recorder and pop it under the seat of his car… leave it there for a bit… they fit nicely into the sliding track of the seat…

      If you learn anything about any hanky panky… well… you should really get a PI to varify it. It isnt nice or legal to do this. I dont think it stands up in court…but you can use the info you get to expedite a Private investigation…ie names,times,numbers…

      Be ready to hold your breath… and not act like you know anything… you want all the information you can get before he knows you know…that is when all the shit hits the fan and all the pass words etc get changed. Be prepaired financially and legally …stash your cash…in a safe safe spot…in hand… it can get shitty…

      Dont ean to alarm you…but it gets ugly….


    • I understand what you mean my pilot boyfriend has just left me

  18. I know I am leaving comments which do not directly link to the discussion but my BF (who is pilot- like why else would I be stalking your blog?;D) said a male FA told him “OH I heard you are dating someone out of the industry? I think its great. Inter dating in this industry is terrible because these people cannot stay loyal to each other!”

    • Lee,

      If someone is a cheater, then whether they date someone in the industry or out of it will not make the blindest bit of difference. I think open communication, and knowing that there is an increased risk of them being shopped by disgusted co-workers or jilted ex-shags on sites like this should be more of a deterrant though!

  19. Thats what I think about it. He says no good can come of me knowing who she is. I disagree.

    • He just wants to avoid confrontation between you, and I would also question what he’s worried about her telling you. Maybe he’s played things down to you a little. YOU are the wronged one here, and as such, YOU are the only one who has the right to decide if any good can come from the closure it will give you,

      Seems like he might be trying to protect her rather than you?

  20. I found our who the woman is, her name address and all. I don’t yet know if I want to contact her or not. any suggestions.

  21. I called the other woman and it was fruitless. Aside from making pretend she didnt speak english she didnt acknowlege the relationship. Not sure what I though she would say.

    Perhaps if you had some specific questions backed up by specific facts that you do know about the relationship you might get some answers.

    Good luck

  22. I would have to at least try if it were me I think. Otherwise it would kill me knowing I had that info… So did DH confess once you confronted him with the name then?

  23. spouse works for SW and I believe she is seeing someone else. Wish I knew how to confirm

  24. Have Partner of a Pilot forward my email addy to you Hurt…


  25. Hurtme,

    What makes you think she is seeing someone else ?


  26. Hello,
    Yes my husband confessed before I had the name. I read an email from her so I only had her first name. Now I have the whole story i think. He met her last Dec at burbank airport as she was working. He started up with here Jan-March. Then the company closed down and he couldn’t see her anymore. He then just called and wrote to her for a year. No more sex though. AH

    • Debbie,
      What is your husbands name and was he cheating with an airline employee who was asian? I read this post and it matches up with my girlfriend who was involved with a man she met in Decemeber in Burbank but did not sleep with him until late January and it ended in March or April. Just an FYI she got HPV from another pilot, go to the doctor dear.

  27. HAHA! Just found this post about a pilot collecting FA called Chelsea Higgins, who works for XJT Airlines on Don’t Date him girl. It includes a picture:

  28. This is an awesome website for pilots wives. We need to stick together as ther are a lot of FA’s looking to steal our men. Watch out for the women who work at the airports too.

    • Ive just found this website. wish I had found it a couple of months ago. My boyfriend has just ended it with me on messenger. It is his week off this week. Its really strange, he didnt even call me and wont speak to me. Im totally gutted! It came out of the blue. He said that I couldnt handle his job anyone as I was getting insercure when he didnt phone for a couple of days. Not sure if its my fault. I hate all hosties, why do they throw themselves at pilots?????? Dont know what im going to do…..Please help!

  29. Tried to call my husband at his layover hotel the other day (he wasn’t answering cell), they didn’t have him listed. Later he tried to tell me I needed to ask for him by his employee #, not his name. (I’ve never had to before)
    Anyway….later checked his log book. He didn’t have the flight that day recorded. Suspect he dropped the trip instead. Found out he is texting (Name Removed) at Compass. The day of his “trip”, his car was at airport….but his suitcase was inside. None of this sounds good…it is bad.

    • Wife of a Compass Pilot, Okdk7 has left you a very informative reply below, that you wont get told of by email because she didn’t use the reply link below your response, so I just thought I’d draw your attention to it.

      It doesn’t really add up. I think you have at least the right to your concerns without him being mad. Have you learned what his whereabouts were yet?

    • Hello Wife of Compass Pilot,

      Hope things are gong ok.
      Would be glad t share my story with you and keep in touch via email. Partner of a Pilot will give you my email address if you would like.


    • Oh my gosh that doesnt sound good hun. The same sort of thing happened to me last week. My boyfriend has 2 cars, one is a 4×4 for off road sport he would never drive that 150k to the airport. When I left in the morning, he was getting ready to go to the airport and he still didnt have his car, very strange… I dont know where the car was. He would leave his top of the range BMW just anywhere for a week when he was away! 3 days ago he ended our relationship. I dont know what to do! He wont even speak to me now!

    • To whom this may concern,

      I happen to know the person you are referring to, it’s a very close friend of mine. How dare you post someones name on a site like this. It’s appauling that you would jump to conclusions like you have. There are always 2 sides to every story. I happen to know that your ‘husband’ avoids her because of this issue. (Name removed) does (Preferential bidding training) and is paid by Compass to do this. It is not uncommon for people at Compass to network and do bidding each month. Whatever issues that you 2 may have need to be resolved between you 2 only! It’s not fair that she has been brought into this situation. If the posts are not taken down a formal complaint will be made with Human Resources….

      • Chill out ZX3, If you look at OKDK7s reply below, she has already drawn attention to the fact that there could be a perfectly logical, innocent, plausible explanation to this.

        Wife of a Compass Pilot is simply upset and running through the facts that she does have paired with the doubt about those that she doesn’t… She has been very open about the fact that she does not know what the truth of the matter is. She has not directly accused anyone of anything, so any complaints will have no legal grounding.

        If your colleague has nothing to hide, then she has absolutely nothing to be concerned about does she?!

        I personally take offense to the overtly threatening nature of your comment, and think that you should be a lot more careful about threatening people when you are clearly an employee of Compass. I have your IP address, which can be tracked, so I do hope you didn’t post this comment from a work computer?

        • I am actually the person ‘wife’ was discussing. I am sure it is really easy for you to tell others to “chill out”. Since your name cannot be googled to find it show up as “Hands off my pilot HO!”….then my name. I am a professional and do not appreciate my name being published anywhere without my permission. The problem with this posting is that unless someone reads all the posts, they will leave your site with half the information. I consider this irresponsible. This has happened! Someone actually cut and pasted the entry with my name mentioned and sent it to my husband.
          I am terribly sorry for ‘wife’s’ situation, but I would appreciate if my name was removed from your site. I am not involved in her situation, but continue to hear about this posting.
          As to you taking offense… should be in my shoes.

        • Partner of Pilot…

          If it is at all possible, could you “x” out the name on my posts? I do not want to cause her any problems.

          There was definately cause at the time that I initially suspected her but I can’t say on this post the thought process that was leading me in that direction because now my husband has been told about this blog by someone. He doesn’t need to know how I found him out.

          This blog helped keep me balanced on days that were pure hell. Thank you for that. Now that my husband has been told about this site, I probably will go through some more hell, this time without help.

          • Dear ‘Wife”,

            I really appreciate you asking that my name be removed from your posts. I can tell you that it was very upsetting to my husband and myself to be told of this posting. I know that you were (and probably still are) having a tough time. You know that I am so sorry for your pain and that I understand how this all happened.

            Partner of a Pilot,
            Thank you for removing my name. I understand what ‘wife’ is referring to in the above post.
            If you could check again….my name is mentioned a couple of more times.

            Thank you both very much.

      • If you had bothered to read farther, you would have read my reply of May 15th, where I posted that (Name Removed) was not involved with my husband. I had since determine at least one other true party who admitted it to me. I do regret using her name. While I may have been rash, unless you can walk in my shoes and watch a close to 30 year marriage with children involved fall apart, then you couldn’t understand my hurt, anger, and despair at the time.

        I am not an employee of any airline. A complaint to HR would hurt others I imagine, including my husband, but not me personally.

        If I knew how to remove her name I would. I am not tech savvy however, and don’t know even how to go about doing that. But, do what you need to do. Do me a favor though and talk to (Name Removed) first to see if she wants to go through an investigation by HR & the FAA. You know probably better than I that Compass has been looking for any BS excuse to get rid of some FA’s involved with the union. (Name Removed) doesn’t need the hassle.
        If she wants me to do anything, than she can call me and I will do what I can to help her out.

  30. Partner of a pilot.. firstly may I say your blogs are fantastic. I am the gf of a pilot who has been flying now for around 3 years and he has just recently gone onto longhaul. In years gone by I was a crew scheduling officer so I used to hear ALL the stories from downroute from both cabin crew and flight deck alike. So, naturally when he got checked onto the longhaul fleet, I felt sick to the stomach!!

    Whats good is that your bf and mine seem very alike. He’s had the odd crew member offering themselves on a plate and has politely declined and mentioned he has a girlfriend at home. He didn’t have to tell me but I’m so glad he did. It’s happened a few times; one girl completely backed off when she knew he was attached, another girl followed him around for all of the 4 day trip and never left him alone, particularly trying her luck after a drink or two at one of the infamous ‘ room parties’ they have downroute. Now, this girl also knew he wasn’t availible but still proceeded to give him her phone number at the end of the trip. Being polite he accepted the number. When he returned from the trip and told me all of this I was seething. Then came the debate (around 4 hours) as to whether or not it’s acceptable for him to have cabin crew as contacts in his phone. I said it has to be a definite no for this particular girl, although he did say they got on well on a ‘friends’ level.
    What are people’s thoughts on this? They’re only work colleagues after all but I just don’t like the idea of cabin crew texting my guy, even if their intentions are genuine and they would just like to keep in touch.

    My bf told me he could never date cabin crew, he’s a private person who would hate his private life being broadcast on Galley FM.

    Luckily for me I know the names of the airlines’ ‘ho’s’ from my days working there and hearing the many stories. What I do miss is having access to his live roster to see if any crew are regularly swapping onto his flights. Its so much more difficult for flight deck to swap off flights/trips so you will find the ho’s or ‘flight decks floozies’ (FDF’s) tend to swap onto the trip of their ‘stripe of the month’.

    I think the one saving grace for us committed gf’s back home is that if your guy flys for a big airline with say 6000+ cabin crew and has mixed short haul and long haul duties, chances of him getting the same FDF on his flights regularly are slim, so there’s really no time for them to build a bond…unless they text or communicate through the evil Facebook.


    • Hi Pinky,

      Thanks for your comment, I’m glad you like it, it’s always really nice to read comments from people who relate to this stuff.

      As for your situation, it sounds like your man loves you to bits, and therefore I doubt you have anything to worry seriously about, although we personally have a no random phone numbers thing. I also work in a situation where (when I’m not working from home) I encounter people that I don’t really know very well, say for exaple the exhibition I did the other day.

      Now, it’s cool for me to go for a meal with these people and hang out, and I feel the same way about Bf with his job, but number swapping with members of the opposite sex that we vaguely know is not acceptable (for us). Purely because (and past experience dictated this on both sides), some of these people inevitably cross the boundary of ‘friendship’ and try to trespass into your relationship.

      I personally would have thought it was a completely obvious no no to swap numbers with someone who already wouldn’t take no for an answer. I think he is being somewhat naive to think that she wont continue to persist. However, maybe a better tack to take would be to arrange a social situation where you get to meet her too, and she is able to see how in love you both are. If they genuinely have a friendship that he’s willing to potentially upset you over, then rather than fighting him, maybe you could also befriend her? Just a thought.

      I don’t think Bf would ever do that, but he’s quite unique in that way. He keeps his Facebook account invisible, so that nobody can see he even has one, and only has a few of his close pilot friends (that he trained with) added. The only hostie he has added is a mutual friend of ours that is the long term gf of one of his buddies.

      He also never swaps phone numbers with cabin crew, regardless of their gender-why does he need to? If they’re not with him, they can call his room, and if they need to contact him off the trip, they have his email address any way!

      The thing is, whilst I would not like Bf to swap numbers the way your Bf did, I also don’t think your man would have been honest about it if he had any thing to hide. Bf and I have each others Facebook sign ins too, so if we wanted to we ‘could’ check up on one another, though in reality we don’t. To be honest he hates facebook any way. He barely ever logs in, and he never uploads pictures-he really only ever updates his status.

      Bf doesn’t predictably fly with the same crew. Sometimes he’ll fly with someone once and never see them again, and even after almost 5 years, he still often gets rosters where he barely recognises any of the other names on it!

      I have given up being too worried about that stuff now. We are very open about all of this stuff, and if I allow myself to get wrapped up too much in the aspects of his career that I cant control, I’d go insane! I have come to the realisation that the only person I have any control over is me… The less I worry and try to control these factors, the more control I actually appear to have any way! Life is strange like that.

  31. Hello Wife of Compass Pilot,
    I assume you have Googled (Name Removed) of Compass Airlines.
    Looks like she is based in MSP and is envolved with the Flight Attendants Union thingy. That could be the reason for the TEXTING.

    Regarding his whereabouts on the day you mentioned. Check his flight pass history and his Passport … Flights for work are not in their passports.

    Get your ducks in a row before you launch…good luck

  32. P.S. She is also on FACEBOOK

  33. Partner of a Pilot…
    Im sorry, i did it again.


  34. Regarding “JUST FRIENDS” and such… good book
    “Not Just Friends” by Shirley Glass is a great read.
    Google it .

    Emotional Infidelity can ruin a relationship as quickly as a physical relationship.

    For what its worth.


  35. Hello All,
    I just found another really good site regarding setting personal boundaries. This would apply to all relationships in addition to marital or romantic ones.


    Information is POWER.

    • Thanks for that site t is really interesting, and something that I looked at with my counselling (see my post from yesterday).

  36. Yes….(Name Removed) is involved in training pilot’s in scheduling their bids and she seems totally innocent now that I had been checking. She is happily married. That isn’t to say that my husband still isn’t messing around. Thanks for the advice.

    I’m working on trying not to jump to conclusions, but at the same time, not be a doormat. Did talk to one person who admitted to being with my husband on one occasion. Not sure what to do now but I need to protect myself, that’s for sure. Person was not a flight attendant, but someone in the industry that has contact with pilots all of the time (ex. faa)

  37. Thanks for the messages. Have not found out where he was at yet. I have not told him I’m checking his flight logs (no since educating him how I check on him). He did find out I was calling some people, but don’t know yet who told him. One person didn’t want me to divulge I had talked with her, but was very informative. I did speak with a Cabin Safety Inspector with the FAA who basically confessed to being with him. Told husband. He just left for some recurrent training and we will probably have some kind of showdown at the end of the week. I still don’t know what I want to do. Kids and financial issues the main reason I’m hesitating. Someone else has told me that a FA Jennifer H. with Compass told her she had slept with two pilots, but didn’t mention my husband as being one of them. However my husband does talk with her. Gave him a list of some conditions before he left, to include all access to his cell phone records, bank and credit card accounts, etc. so I will have to wait and see. It will depend on how honest and forthcoming he will be. So far, he has not been honest at all. If not, well then I can’t put up with him anymore, no matter how poor it will make me.

    I have been married for 26 years, never been divorced. Don’t know if it is better for me to file or him to file, if push comes to shove. Could use some advise if anyone had experience with divorce.

    I did look at the personal boundries link. Will use some of that information if I decide to not divorce.

    • Well, to be honest, I’m not sure how it is in the States, but here in the UK it doesn’t really make a difference who files, except that whoever files pays the court fees (that’s separate to solicitor fees). These fees aren’t sky high though, more of an admin cost

    • I was a wife of 22 years, three children. He got caught finally after the woman kept texting him. It was going on for months. There were probably others, I just don’t care to know more. After I confronted him he left us. Cllaimed I was too insecure and had turned into a B—- questioning him all the time. I had been beside myself with worry and insecurity for months but had no proof. My self esteem was in the dumper. He wound up getting fired from the job for misuse of his credit card and keeping the plane in out for repairs (to spend more time with her) Bottom line it was a horrible three years, I filed for divorce and he just sent his lawyer, never showed up in court. He dragged it out for a year but was living with her. He hardly ever comes to see the kids now, he finally took contract jobs overseas and had to rely on his parents for financial help. We went through all his 401K money to stay afloat. He finally now has a long contract with an airline in Saudi Arabia. He has married that woman he cheated on me with.

      My advice – get a good counselor to help you through it. And for your kids. If you have faith, pray for strength. Surround yourself with support. Contact a good attorney and find out what your options are. Gather valuables and put them in a safe deposit box that he does not know about or store with someone you trust. this is a very long process and will take you a minimum of three years to begin to feel better. Pilots are very controlling – it is very subtle but you will see it come out if you have chosen to divorce. He is not the enemy, you both will suffer, it is the marriage that is destroyed but you as an individual will go on, day by day – you will survive this. Write it down – tape it to your bathroom mirror, cry, work out, stay healthy – this is like having cancer but you will get through it. My prayers go out to you for peace and strength. I am fine now – I still miss our life on somedays – I am beginning to date very slowly. I have teenagers and a seven year old but when I come home it is my home, my life and my choices and every day is brighter and full of promise. God Bless You.

      • Lonnie,
        Thank you for sharing your story.

        Sorry to hear of yet another nightmare marriage collaps from the “WHEN PIGS FLY CHRONICLES”

        You said “he is not the enemy?” not sure what you meant by that.

        Curious, was she in the industry ? Was she a foreigner?

        Thanks again.

  38. Gals, i swear every comment made here never failed to remind me the hell i went through with my pilot bf. He cheated on me with a fa for 4 months (swore he didn’t have sex with her). He claimed he only met up with her on three occasions for dinner. They have done a brisbane flight together and enjoyed one another’s company. Later, they met one another at the control and exchanged phone numbers. My bf took the initiative to msg her and that was when my hell started.
    subsequently he calls her almost everyday when he is away on flight. He would msg her and make up lies just to keep her. He told her i was crazy and he wanted a brk up but i kept finding ways to keep him (totally untrue). He even bought a new phone and subscribed to a new line just so i wouldnt find out about it. All this while the fa was not aware of my existence.
    When i found out about her, he said he would end it but everytime he finish his flight and when i pick him up at the airport, i would find out that he contacted the slut.
    It really hurts me that he could bring himself to hurt me like this. He told me he cheated on me for the sake of thrill. He told me he would never do it again and would even leave his job for me. I felt so angry with him for hurting me and with myself for allowing myself to have so much trust in the relationship that i didn’t think he would ever cheat on me. I was so wrong.
    Its been almost a year since the incident happened and i’m still not able to get over what he did. I can see he has been making alot of effort to salvage the relationship but somehow or rather, everything has changed. The trust and bond is broken and i doubt we will ever be the same again.
    My advice to you gals is, if such unfortunate event does happen to ya as well, be strong and tell yourself life goes on with or without him. Dun let someone so unworthy of your love ruin your life. Even though we’re still together, i’m slowly allowing myself to adapt to life without him. Everytime when he’s on flight, i’ll try to divert my attention to something else. Sooner or later, i believe i will leave him and be happy even if it means living by myself.
    Hope my story helps.

    • Have you seen a good therapist fiance of a pilot? I have to say that it can be very good at helping you to overcome trust issues, especially if you are convinced that he is genuinely regretfull.

      That said his determination to pursue this woman so far and with such effort would worry me. Why would the thrill seeking never present itself again if he has not addressed the issue with a counsellor?

      Alcoholics cannot work in bars an remain sober without help. If you have stayed with him, maybe you should both seek appropriate help before doing anything rash like separating OR getting married (I see you are a fiancee, hence my last statement)

    • Hi, Ive just read your comments and yes you are right in what you are doing. I believe that it is easier to move on in your head before the final break, if thats what you decide to do.
      My bf came round to talk the other day and we didnt get very far, he was being too nice after our break up. It made me realise how false and charming he actually is. In my mind I know that I am moving on with my life now. He has been texting me things like “im sorry” and “I wish things were different” and “im thinking of you” I believe that he has met someone else and is possibly moving away with her. He is on a trip for 5 days now. Tomorrow I am going to his house to see what I can find…He thinks that I no longer have a key, but I got a spare key cut! I will find out everything tomorrow. I am very scared of what I may find, but will help me to move on and understand why he doesnt want me!
      I keep thinking the sayings… ( If it hurts, it isnt love!) and (If you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you it is yours. If it doesnt, it never was!)

  39. We’ve talked about seeking a relationship therapist, but somehow we decided to try to work things out on our own. Yeah I’m genuinely convinced he’s regretful but I just can’t get over the cheating part.
    I admit we had some issues prior to the cheating incident. I was pretty hmm…possessive and that prolly made he feel suffocated. Bf said he wanted to talk to someone bout his problems hence he took the initiative to contact her. Bf did not want to tell his buddies bout his problems as he felt embarrassed, so talking to a stranger would kinda make him feel better. Even though I felt his reason was kinda absurb, but i can’t help but think that I was partly to blame for this. Over this one year, I have changed for the better, and tried to be a better listener.
    Yeah you’re absolutely right, I thought to myself as well, there’s a possibility he may repeat his mistake. However, till now, he’s been pretty good. He calls me immediately once he touch down and would stay in the hotel throughout his stay. He calls me and msges me very often as well. He doesn’t bring his laptop on flight anymore and doesn’t exchange contact with anyone. (Or so he claimed).
    I’m worried bout this though. It seems like I am not making this relationshp work as I cannot myself to let the incident go. I kept being reminded what a jerk he was for hurting me, all the things I have done for him and his family, all the hardships I went through with him before he became a pilot. It’s really painful. I guess, if this goes on, I’ll prolly suggest therapy to him again.
    I genuinely felt better after ranting …thank you so much for this blog. It really feels great to be able to tell someone who understands.

    • Hi Fiancee of a Pilot

      I highly recommend pursuing counselling togther and separately if you are going to stay in the relationship. My husband cheated on one occasion 1 yr ago with a FA- I found out about it 4 mths ago after checking internet billing and seeing repeated sms to the one number then ringing that number and hearing a female voicemail message- I confronted him and he initally tried to deny it. He has always been really good with ringing when he arrives at his destinations or b/w flights- not b/c I insist – but b/c he wants to stay in touch- BUT this last yr he was also texting her several days a mth. Since attending counselling he is taking ownership of his issues and is committed to understanding this “other side of him in his fantasy world” improving our relationship and getting real. He has agreed none of it was my fault – he was drunk and had no willpower and wanted some excitement- with no thought to our life and family- completely selfish- it was his choice however. I don’t believe he was that drunk he had no control. Yes our relationship had its difficulties with 2 young kids and a busy life with my career also- but that is no excuse for his behaviour. He is such a wonderful husband and father in every other way however so I hope to work together with him through this. But there will be no other chances.

      The thing is I knew he was capable of this again because he had an affair for a few mths after we had been going out for 2 yrs and we were living in different states. We worked through things then and eventually married 4 yrs later as I felt I could trust him- BUT though I had some counselling I did not insist we do counselling together back then (that is now over 10yrs ago)- I really wish we had earlier. He knew I had expected honesty about poitential attractions and that I was relaistic enough to acknowledge they would exist- but when the crunch came at a rut in our relationship he risked everything – wihtout even realising the implicatons- thinking he could hide it- have his cake and eat it too. We are still working through issues and the counselling really helps us draw closer- but it is difficult (especially the overnights) and I expect it will take a yr or more before the trust improves.

      Encourage counselling as a way to grow together in your relationship- if he won’t then is he really committed for the long haul. If he doesn’t go to counselling-definitely go yourself- he may then go along eventually too.

      FA”s husband- you are spot on about the separate worlds/ lives. He can compartmentalise them and not let one affect the other!! Now though he is changing all of that – I just hope it is all worth hanging in there. FA’s husband- did you guys see a counsellor?

  40. Thanks Suzanne! Lately, I’ve been meeting new people and making more friends. I guess that’s a good start for me. I gradually think we may not be suitable for each other. I’ll have a good talk with him when he comes back from his long haul flight.

    Kate, be strong when ya meet him k? Try to work out a positive solution to the issue. I’ll keep ya in my prayers!

  41. This works both ways. I just caught my flight attendant wife in an affair with a married pilot. I have been able to determine that it has been going on for at least nine months from the phone records. This is the second time for an affair with a pilot and I’m through with her. She swore this wouldn’t happen again and insisted that nothing was going on this time (No Sex) but that she makes men friends real easy. I know the pain in the gut that you are experiencing. I just reestablished my trust in her from the last time. Drove myself crazy trying to figure out what she was doing and why? Now that pain is back again and I’m refusing to allow myself to go on living with this pain. We been married for a long time and I’ve been thru this too many times before with her. (Stayed together for the kids, try to be a better husband, blah blah) Thought she was over this but apparently not. I’m not a bad husband. I need to stop blaming myself. She is the one who jeapordized the relationship. Living 2 lives. I see the same thing in what you are writing. So easy for them in that world to separate the 2 worlds they live in. I’m sorry that you are going thru this too.

    • You poor thing. I am really sorry that you’re having to deal with infidelity for a second time! I hope you find someone better and more deserving of you.

      • This is for Iris of Lakeland FL. (Did my homework) Check your husbands phone bill details for a phone number ending in 654. Get past the message and let her know how much your pilot means to you and how her good time is ruining your life. Notice the short 1 minute calls. She followed it up with a call to his hotel room that lasted for quite some time. If I can be any assistance to you, let me know. Just found out how she is coordinating her schedule to meet up with L.

    • I wonder if that was my husband. I found out that he was having an affair with a F/A that lived not too far from our home and the were meeting at her house apparently when the coast was clear. Can you tell me what area you lived in?

  42. Well girls..what a hormonal mess I am tonight!!! Does anyone else get like this? I really hope so. My update is a simple one, if you read my last post on this thread you will remember I mentioned a hostie gave my boyf her number and he naively accepted to be polite. Well he’s on a trip right now with said girl. I’ve been somewhat agitated since he left, with lots of things going through my mind such as I wonder if she mentioned his lack of contact and if she did ,what was his response? Did he mention me? I would like to think he did.

    The ice-breaker this girl used; ‘ So, how many girlfriends have you got then?’ really makes me worry. It’s most certainly NOT the kind of question I would ask a guy when I’d met him for the first time. It just screams ‘ I’m interested’!!

    We had a lovely couple of days together before he left, he was so nice to me, giving me all the compliments a girl could wish for…this coming from a guy who won’t say anything unless he really means it. I know this because as soon as he leaves my house and I miss him, I tell him! I’m talking like a matter of hours since he’s left!! When I don’t get an ‘I miss you too’ back, I question it and he tells me he won’t say something unless he means it and if he did tell me all the time he’d be lying!! I admire his honesty, sometimes saying those all important words too readily, I suppose, can get quite tiresome…but thats just me I tell him anyway, even if it might get on his nerves!!!

    Anyway, I don’t think this agitation I’m experiencing will stop until 10pm tomorrow night when he’s home!! I couldn’t get a wink of sleep last night worrying. I realise it’s petty but it’s bloody hard being a woman sometimes!! I probably wouldn’t have given it a second though had I not had hormones raging through my body!! Oh well..went for a nice long run tonight in the hope it will help me to sleep goes, wish me luck…nite ladies xx

    • Pinky, I hope you get some counseling. You are in for a lifetime of anxiety and sleepless nights.

      I hope it gets better for you pal.

    • Pinky, we’ve discussed this privately-he has the opportunity to be with her IF he wanted, but he’s not. He has chosen you. Maybe counselling would be good-it certainly helped me… However, whether you choose thios route or not, I recommend you try to let go of your desire to control the situation and work on being a strong person without a need to ground your self worth in his actions.

      You can only be responsible for your own actions in this life. Communicate well with him, and don’t allow any double standards to be set.

  43. My United Captain (767/757) and I have been married for 35 years. Just found out 4 months ago he has been unfaithful to me. The first affair started 20 years ago. His story is that a passenger (Karen) passed him a note. He was deadheading. They had sex. He had sex with her 2 more times over a four year peiord (last time 1993). His last call to her was in January. She says they had sex once and it was not memorable. She lied about her age and is 10 years older than he. She is now 65 and has gone through cancer treatment twice. She says I am making more out of this than what it is.

    He says nothing else happened after that until 2005 when he was based in NY. Found out he shared his crashpad with FA’s. One he had oral sex with. She denied it. Her phone number was still in his phone. Then started the trips to Sao Paulo (2007). I am such a fool. I thought he preferred flying there as oppsed to Europe because of there not being much of a time change. He had 19 trips there in a year. He met Darla at a bar. He first said he had sex with her four times on two different trips. Then it turned into 7 or 8 times. Found out she lied about her name, age, and occupation. No condom a few times. Humiliating going through the STD testing (and expensive). Last trip there was a year ago. Last call was in March. She speaks very little English. I got our Skype history (with his approval). He said he called her 7 or 8 times, turned out it was 36 times. Also on the Skype history was one call to London and 4 or 5 to Rio. I know he is not being truthful to me yet and probably never will be. Also he had oral sex with a FA whose last name is Vanderbur (not sure about the spelling, could be Vandabur or Vanderburg). Can anyone please find out her first name and contact information for me? I believe she was on a South American trip with him. Now, he is very remorseful. We have 4 children. Three are married and the fourth just started college. One son just got married in May. It was incredibly hard to listen as our oldest son who was preforming the ceremony explain the meaning of marriage. I have been a mess and have lost 28 pounds. We are both in counseling. I so want to move forward. I hate though how he knows all the details of the last 20 years and I know only what he’ll share. The book my therapist recommended is entitled “After the Affair.” It helped me realize that other people’s reactions are the same as mine.

    We do not want our children to know. We live in a very small town. There is absolutely no one I can share this with outside of therapy and docs. My family doctor has put me on meds. Doesn’t feel like I can process everything yet. My husband’s relationship with God is growing. We are both praying for each other. I continue to repeat to myself that he would take it all back. He is truly remorseful. I still love him but still can’t let everything go like I want to. Also, does anyone know of a reverse phone search for Brazil. The ones I have tried do not turn up anything. Feels a little freeing to write this all down. How long will my mental agony continue? What do I have to do to get rid of it? Please help with Vanderbur’s info. Thank you for letting me vent…. Oh, left out how I found out. Counted his hidden Cialis.

  44. This was informative… BEWARE OF YE OLE CRASH PADS

    Good lord.


  45. I have not writte in a long time as I have been dealing with soehow putting my life back together after my husband cheated the gate attedant that worked for skybus airlines 2007 till 2009. I want to name and blame now. Her name is Tina Nillson and she now works for American airlines in Burbank. She is looking for a husband and does not care if she steals someone elses. She thinks she is all that and She is now going out with a United Captain. If it doesn’t last I am sure she will be on the prowel for some other pilot. She seems to like them as she is high maintaince. I am still not sure if I can get over this. It has been 10 months now. Am I going crazy? Debbie

  46. I just found out on VALENTINE’S DAY that my husband, a pilot for a regional airline, is having an affair with a coworker, a skanky slutty flight attendant CO-WORKER. I want to get her fired…what should I do???

    • Lynn,

      Be careful here. I called one of the flight attendants that my captain husband had said he had been “with.” She denied it. I had the phone records with all their calls. They were both in a “crash pad” together. Anyway, I pretended to believe her story. Then when I happened to be at the airport where my husband is domiciled I thought I would text this fa to see if she just happened to be there and asked to meet her. This was in no way threatening to her. She reported me to her supervisor and my husband was given a notice to “take care of the situation.” My husband did not back me up. It made me furious but on the other hand I do not want him to lose his job. Never expected that to backfire… Also, what has been of great help to me is the book “Monogomy Myth” by Peggy Vaughan. She also has a website:

      • Lou,

        I had texted her every single day since I found out calling her names and so forth but today she told my husband if she gets one more text from me she is going to file harassment charges. I have called her every name in the book and let her know that she is ruining the lives of our three daughters as well. (She’s been saving all the messages) I don’t care I needed to vent at her a little. She deserves it. I told him last night that I would forgive him if he would just stop seeing her and come home to us and get some counseling but I’m not sure that will be enough. He is completely delusional thinking that leaving his wife of 17 yrs, and his 3 girls, 15, 13 and 10, that this skanky 49!!!!!! year old FA is going to be just the thing for him (we are only 37).

        • I totally understand the anger and the desire to lash out. However you need to think of what is best for yourself. Having been in law enforcement for close to 30 years, I have made numerous arrests for harassment.
          You are making it easy for someone to arrest you, which is not what your children would need. I made some phone calls, but all were done in a careful and non-threatening manner with no obscenities. Making the confronatation gave me some feeling of taking control, which was helpful to me, plus I learned that my husband was more responsible than the woman he was with, that she was as much a victim as I was. You need to stop making harassing texts immediately, it won’t help you. A detective can subpeona the company to get the texts, or simply place the woman’s cell phone on a copy machine to make photocopies of her caller id and the text message. A picture is worth a thousand words, and you will really hurt yourself here. You need to take this day by day, sometimes even hour by hour. Some will be good, then the next will be awful. Don’t go off half-cocked, that won’t help you. You need to take care of yourself first!

          • I know I know. I did stop, that was the last day I did it. But because I am an amazing internet snoop I was able to discover that a) she’s married b) her husbands cell phone number. Hmm haven’t quite decided what to do with this amazing piece of information.

            • Hahaha! OMG! TELL HIM!!!!

            • I have actually fantisized about traveling to the city of one my husband’s lovers and making an appointment for her realitor husband to show me some houses. Would that qualify as harrassment or stocking “still the wife?’ Is telling the lover’s spouse an illegal act? OK mind, get back to rational thinking….


          • Curious, what constitutes harasment? Any laws we can use against these women who are so involved in the total destruction of some marriages and the devatation to the individuals?


            • Laws vary from state to state. How far police will take an investigtion vary from detective to detective. The more blatant the case, the more I liked making the arrest. I always advised people to keep a log, save recordings, text messages, etc. No criminal laws against the other person….. not unless the relationship was ended and they don’t want to end it and started harassment of their own….

  47. Lynn,

    I am sitting here alone contemplating calling another flight attendant. I had to do a lot of research to find her. I’ll be sure she is the correct person if I can get her to confirm her birthdate (it was her birthday the day she “hooked up” with my husband). I am 99% sure she is the correct one. I have talked with all the others he cheated on me with (at least the ones he has told me). They all deserve to hear what they have done is so wrong. Also, three of the four were very much older than what he believed or was told. The one about to get my phone call is a 54. Three of the four are on facebook.

    We are still together and working it out. It just takes a long time (2 to 3 years I’m told). And, on my good days I feel like we have such a better marriage. Today though I am feeling crappy. My psychologist and family doctor would insist I take a Xanax about now.


    • Well it’s for sure over for us Lou. I gave him the choice to give her up and try counseling and I would forgive him but he seems to think that this wrinkly old piece of ass is more important to him than his children or me. He’s such a coward ass piece of chicken shit that he can’t even apologize for hurting me. He’s only remorseful for a) getting caught and b) getting her involved. What a dipshit. I’m almost done filling out the divorce papers and I’m going to take him for every damn penny he has or ever will have.

      • Wondering where you live? I have heard in some states there is a law that would allow you to sue the slut for “alienation of affection.” I actually saw an Oprah or Dr. Phil show with someone doing this. Might be worth checking out. Wondering is there anyway else to legally get even with these people who are so much involved in our devastation. I

        I did not make the call the other day, but did pay the $1.95 to confirm her birthdate and it is definately the FA I have been looking for. I don’t make threatening phone calls or texts but was asscused of doing so by that first FA I contacted. Wonder how I can protect myself. Is there a place to name and shame these FA’s without putting ourselves in legal jeopardy.


        • OK….so I was talking about being no CRIMINAL laws broken. But in this day and age, you can sue anybody (Civil suits) for anything. Not all will be successful of course and there are people out there that will have the money to burn. I also heard about the alienation of affection type of suits. But I’m not a gambler (normally…I’m still gambling on my husband?!) and I’d rather keep my money. But of course, its been a year and I’ve calmed down a bit. Its normal I think, to try and extract your pound of flesh for revenge. At first, you even have to take this minute by minute, then hour to hour, day to day etc. Sometimes even now, I think maybe I should have left……

  48. i thought i had a great life with my pilot husband until the afair with rita the americawest fa .look out for her with your husbands she a great one to kiss and not tell. but i am not giving her my pilot after 40 years we have been together.text ing phone and phone calls i think have out i know where you live rita you are a ho .you where a low life bitch to go after my man but you see you will aways be the other just takea little longer to find out about you.but you know what he will never leave me.

  49. will you see my huband only screwed you now she doe’nt have her huband but i do after 40 years i am not going to leave him for the ho to get what belongs to me . i have taken a stand i’ll just stand and spend the money because i get anything i want now that i know about the ho rita nicksic fa .i am a strong women and i always keep my man .gods on my side and i’ll pray for her to screw the wrong person and she will get hers in the end.listen fuck you you said to go on with my life i have and i sure do love the money .maybe we will cross pathes one day now have a fucked life bitch

  50. This same thing happened to me and BF. He was jumpseating on a flt home and a Delta FA chatting him up “suggested” he take her to dinner. He told her he had a GF and that he “couldn’t” do so. During the flt, she “apologized” to him for making him feel uncomfortable but then slipped him her email address and said “if you ever breakup with her, send me an email” WTF??? Of course you know she was hoping to get with him regardless. My bf just took the paper and slipped it into the pocket of the chair (so he says). He said he HAD to be nice and take it because she has “power” to either let him on the plane or not (whatever…he was already ON the plane). Anyway, I told him she was a HO for fake apologizing and that he SHOULD have not taken the paper at all. Your guy called this HO out and I feel my BF should have respected me enough to do the same. I told him that she disrespected me and it was up to him to defend me. believe me, if i were there I would have taken her down 😉
    UGH!! I just hate that there are women out there who don’t care about relationships. I realize that it’s just because they have low self esteem and need to feel as though they have some kind of power but it still is difficult to trust 100% that the man will always do the right thing…

    • I agree with you entirely ATRgf, but men seem to have issues with being rude to potential co-workers. These women can be vindictive if scorned, so I guess he was avoiding her wrath rather than trying to wrong you… Trust me, he wont respect her for what she did, even if it massaged his ego.

  51. steven you need to answer your phone

  52. Have all your married pilots stay away from Evelina from jet blue!!!!!!!!

  53. Now if there is a real HO out there I am sure this fellow will suit her fine. When i saw this i thought of this blog. I am happy to say my life has done a 180 since my initial posts. I can imagine that this fellow isnt going to be getting any “action” in the near future and if i were him i wouldnt trust any meals from the galley for the rest of my career…
    There are several other videos about this incident on that local news channel.
    Just saying .
    Hope all is well

  54. WOW… I must say this has been a heck of an afternoon reading both blogs. This one and the other one that alot of you posted on. As I took the time to read every post, I never once saw that anyone mentioned or used a phenomenal tool that was recommended to me when I had doubts about my DH. It cost me 100.00 usd but it was worth every penny! Not only did I get passwords but I learned what he was doing and NOT doing. There was no other woman but there was alot of porn he was lying about. I’ll take the porn anyday. My heart goes out to you all and I am a firm believer in busting them all out ! When DH and I relocated due to his new job, we were friends with his colleague who was not only cheating on his wife but the bitch he cheated with in one country brought to the new country and they have a kid together. I got his wife’s email address and emailed her. After some correspondence between us, all I asked her was that she give me warning if she confronts him and that if she is smart, she will use this information wisely and if needed, I would go to court for her. I was witness to it all. Not only did she not give me warning, she stayed with him ( which is her choice) and has chosen to accept him having 2 families. IMO ( and IMO only) that sets women back about 50 years and makes her a complete idiot and I don’t feel sorry for her anymore. The tool I used allowed me to see everything on my DH’s computer, read every email, take screen shots of what he was viewing. All while he was 8,500 miles away from home and happening live. It provided me with the relief in knowing he did NOT have another email account as I suspected nor was he exchanging emails with anyone and deleting them and he was not talking to anyone via chat rooms or web sites as I also suspected. I busted him out on lying to me about the porn. I explained to him, its not about the porn but rather him lying to me about it. It was a relief to know that is what he does while away from home because if that’s what he’s using in his spare time, he’s not doing it in person. I’ve finally come to the conclusion ( with counseling also ) that men are gonna have secrets and if thats his, good lord let him have it. If anyone wants to know the program and how it works, you can request my email from the blog owner. I suggested it to a friend and she got it last summer and learned a whole lot . Best of luck ladies and gents and lets all keep in touch. Deb, Lou, Kate, Lynn, how are you all doing now ? God Bless.

    • Jane,
      I would like to know what “tool” you used. I am hoping the blog administrator will pass on my email to you.

      It has been two years now since my discovery. Still moving forward I suppose. Have read several books and taken a couple of classes that have helped. Can’t say for sure though what my ultimate decision will be. Trying to look ahead but still can’t figure out what to do with the 29 years of betrayal….. Will I be happier without him in my life? Lots of problems remain in our lives with other issues. Would like to hear from people that have confronted affair partners face-to-face. Was it helpful for closure? Did you regret it?


    • Can you tell me what “tool” you used? I am trying to sort out 25 years of betrayal with flight attendants. I want to see if he has indeed decided to honor our marriage vows. Thanks! Mel

  55. Does anyone else think this looks like a booty call ‘hook up’ site?

    Maybe just one to keep an eye on!

  56. If you have a boyfriend or husband with Colgan Air the FA’s are hookers and will do anything to bag a pilot.

  57. are you people this stupid about everything all the time,wake up,they will always cheat ,most flight attendants screw the men who work on airplanes l and never get caught,layover drinks sex , get some self respect and move on with your life,sky sluts are to easy and they dont care if the guy is married,you say my pilot get a life of your own,you are so sad,no one wants old air mattress everyone had when she was young and hot and now see the men that had her in hotel lobbies and airports all over the world,i get the leftovers , no thanks,small airline world everyone talks and laughs about the wife or husband at home, wake up or live with blinders on,no way i would date a f/a anymore to maney guys from work had her, all f/a are well used by your pilots, move forward with your life dont just give up on life.

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