Partner of a Pilot
The Candid Diary of an Airline Pilot’s Girlfriend

About Me & This Blog!

Before I start, I should make it clear that that this blog is MY opinion only; and should not be interpreted as Bf’s comments or thoughts.

Firstly, I should shatter a few illusions… I often have these assumptions wrongly made about me… Mostly at parties, after someone utters the immortal words: “So… What do you do?”

I hate that question… For a start, do you have half an hour to spare? Because I cant give you a one sentence answer to what I do if you are genuinely interested… But mostly because the second Bf’s magic words “airline pilot” pass his lips, my words seem pointless and irrelevant to the inquirer any way. It’s not Bf’s fault of course… People are fascinated with aviation and pilots-I blame Lionardo DiCaprio myself.

…For images like this one…

The situation that most offended me in the past, was at a friend’s wedding, when a vague acquaintance of mine’s scruffy boyfriend asked us the killer question… I hadn’t even the chance to tell him what I did, before the obnoxious pillock, winked at me, made a ‘click click’ noise out of the corner of his mouth with his tongue, and said to me

Well done girl, you struck gold bagging yourself a pilot! You want to hang onto that one!”

…And My least favourite reaction from women, by contrast, is one I find very patronising; namely pitying looks piggy-backed on a comment to the effect of

“I bet you worry about him whilst he’s away-don’t you?”

So, that’s why I am setting the record straight…

  • My pilot doesn’t earn the squillions of £££ people think he does, in fact, we’ve only managed to finish paying off the professional studies loan he took out to pay for his training 6 years after he qualified… So no, we do not live in a mansion, I am not a ‘kept woman’, and I’m certainly not a gold digger!
  • Pilots cheating with hosties every opportunity they get, is a stereotype, not a reality (granted there are a few exceptions to the rule-as with any job)… So no, I do not spend every waking moment worrying about his conduct or wondering where to hire my next PI from…
  • and lastly: No I am not an ex-flight attendant, nor do I have any desire or plans to become one in the future.  As exciting and appealing as the job/lifestyle is; I have my own career away from the aviation bubble that Bf works in, that I find very fulfilling already.

So now that’s out of the way! I am the partner of an airline pilot, with 3 children and a carrer of my own added into the equation! We got together when he was still training and unqualified to fly commercially and this is MY side of the story on what the lifestyle has been like for the one at home in a pilot relationship.

Although I have many friends, few can actually relate to my lifestyle choice or the impact it has on my family’s life.  I have discovered that there are many others in my situation who are looking for support networks to help them cope with the life of a pilot’s Significant Other.*

I decided to write this blog to help keep me sane, maybe help others appreciate that they are completely normal, and just to get a load off my chest/vent about the airline industry.

Obviously there are some great perks too, and those are also in my blog. I have always kept a diary, and find the experience of writing it cathartic.  Blogging was a natural evolution from this, and has also opened up the rewarding ‘Tom Riddle’s Diary’ door to me (my diary talking back to me for those of you who don’t read Harry Potter).  Please note, I adore receiving comments, so please leave me one to let me know you were here!?

In my own life, I work from home (most of the time)-which is great as it eliminates the need for expensive child care that would otherwise prohibit me from earning my own living (something that makes me feel independent, and gives me my own identity outside of being just someone else’s partner or Mummy).  I work in a field that I am passionate about, and I feel blessed to be happy in my chosen career.

This blog primarily focuses on the aspects of my life touched by the aviation industry… I occasionally open up on other areas of my life too, but prefer to keep more of these details private.

I just had to add this video, it always makes me miss Bf when he is away, and brings a tear to my eyes watching this version of it.

As I said before, if you have visit, please comment to let me know that you were here, it’s always rewarding to read your feedback. Please note, your email address will never be published.

*If you found my blog because you were looking for information on how others cope with the lifestyle of a pilot wife/girlfriend, this entry may be of interest to you:

Reminiscing about the roller-coaster of feelings I had about how I’d cope with the life of an Airline Pilot’s Girlfriend/Wife before he was qualified.

and:

How can you trust a Pilot and accept his chosen career? …You really can you know!

Alternatively try ‘tag surfing’ by clicking on the tags that interest you below each entry, or use the search box at the top of my blog!

If you would like to contact any of the ‘commentors’ privately. Please email me, and I will be happy to forward this onto them with your email address, so that they can respond to you if they wish.

I am interested to know how you found my blog, and would be grateful if you could take part in this poll for me:

Thanks for reading

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28 Responses to “About Me & This Blog!”

  1. Hi “Partner of a Pilot”,

    Thanks for linking to my blog. I do regularly visit your blog, and have added a link through mine.

    I used to do some work for the airlines.

    Thanks
    “Airline Blogger”

  2. Hello! I just wanted to let you know I dropped by for a visit and really enjoyed looking at your blog! Very well written and nicely set up! I am new to blogging and I was just wanting to visit : )
    I look forward to reading more!

  3. Hi Lori, Thank you very much for your comment, I’m glad you have enjoyed reading it! I’ll check out your blog too 🙂

  4. Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog! And not to forget mentioning my blog in your blog roll! Just a check: are you now from Europe or the US???

  5. Does “Partner of a Pilot ” got any name.? I wish I was able to express myself like you, the fact that there is a beautiful world of wives of pilots reacting to each other’s emotions makes me so emotional, I’m glad a link on my dashboard led me here.

    How about posting a photo of yours, If you haven’t sworn before anybody not to reveal yourself.

    • Haha! Hello FlashyFlashy!

      Partner of a Pilot does have a name… I’m not desperately private or secretive, but since this blog often references Bf and his career, to reveal myself would also mean to expose him. He is a much more private person, and has requested that I remain anonymous for that reason… So it is out of respect for my family that I don’t publish my identity to the world wide web.

      I am glad you enjoyed finding my blog. I shall seek yours out now (you didn’t leave a link to yours).

  6. Hi,

    im so glad that i came across your blog. i am in a 6 year relationship with my bf, and he is a trainee pilot, im 23 and so is he. not until quite recently i have become increasingly worried about how im going to cope with his career. and really worried about him being ‘led astray’ :s

    how have u coped? generally as well?

    tina.x

    • Hi Tina,

      If you do a searcch in the search box on my blog for ‘coping with life as a pilot wife or girlfriend’ you’ll see many varying blog entries listing my ups and downs. I struggles with trust and tried to over control things that weren’t realistic to control. This can cause argumeents and resentment. My advice is ‘let go and let God’ you’ll actually feel far More in control by choosing to rise above it. My recent posts talk at length about how I achived this.

      good luck x

  7. Hi,

    I like the cartoon up there. I also like your blog so I linked to it (if that’s OK) at http://www.adreamtofly.com/links.html I’m an airline pilot (20 years now) and my wife seems to handle it just fine now. We met when I took a break from my flight instructor job (gosh, so long ago!). She’s been with me through thick and thin, but no matter what, we always had each other, and that made the rough times more bearable.

  8. I really like your website. I was just on it and you have great content.

    We run a website called ASB.tv. Air Show Buzz is an international online community of aviation enthusiasts, featuring photos, video, forums, merchandise and original programming. We are also promoting our new desktop app called BlackBox. Perhaps you can download it, try it out, and post your thoughts on it to share with your community.

    I am also reaching out to you to find ways to collaborate with you. Maybe something as simple as a link-share. But we should think of something far more exciting and purposeful. We have a lot of great technology that we built and can share with you for free. We are also willing to discuss paid advertising placement if this is something you prefer.
    I’m looking forward to hear from you soon.

    Best regards

  9. Hi, I laughed out loud when I read the opening comments on what happens when someone asks,”what do you do?”- because the exact same thing has been happening to me for the 7 years that my husband and I have been married. Anyone that asks that question of my husband and me has no interest in hearing what I do once they hear that my husband is a commercial pilot. After hearing that the conversation centers around him and his career (no fault of his). Bothered me a lot when we were first together but now I just accept it. Human nature to be fascinated by flying.

    I have a question – can any pilot’s wives tell me if it changed their marriage/relationaship or made any difference when their husband moved from flying in country to international? my husband is thinking of bidding the 777.

    • Hi Diana, thank you for your comment. I’m glad it’s not just me! LOL!

      Re the 777 thing, my partner used to do all short haul, and things did change a bit when he went long-haul, but you adjust. I wouldn’t say it’s worse or better; just different.

      However, if you want to talk to more pilot wives about this, then I recommend this forum on Facebook (amongst other groups on the net like Jet Girls and Pilot Wives Club) as there are literally hundreds of women on there who you can talk to about their experiences:

      http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2444761099

  10. It’s somewhat disturbing, yet comforting, that there are
    other women out there living the same world as me. I was previously
    married to a “normal” Joe for 17 years. Normal job, normal 8-5 work
    day. We slept together every night. We had every weekend and
    holiday together. I recently remarried a pilot. This life many of
    you describe is “normal” to him,….but feels quite abnormal to me.
    He was previously married with 3 kids and I can surmise that this
    lifestyle normal to them to live…. this type of time-delayed
    living. It’s like being put on a shelve until the return or my
    partner. It feels strange to go out with friends without him. I
    don’t want to plan events until he is with me….although sometimes
    I don’t know when that will be. I am currently awaiting his
    schedule (due out in a few days) to figure out our time together
    for February. Keep in mind that since this is a second marriage for
    both of us and his kids don’t live in our city, he has to arrange
    days to go visit them. Therefore, with his work schedule and his
    kid schedule, there is little left for our life growth. I am
    dedicated to him. I want no other. I am just learning to deal with
    this way of life. When all of our kids (his and mine) are older,
    this will be easier. For now, this is harder than I imagined. I am
    impressed with all the women that deal with this and at the same
    time start a family. It must be single parenting. It would be
    difficult to not become resentful. I recall one wife stating that
    she remembers who is the one bringing home the money for the hard
    work he does. That is a good way to keep things in perspective. My
    issue is that none of his pay comes into this household. He is
    required alimony and child support from his previous. He is so
    scorned from the settlement that he is adverse to participating in
    this family. This has got to be one of the biggest challenges I
    have experienced in all my 40-something years. I fell in love with
    my husband because he is special. The attributes that warmed my
    heart are the ones I massage in my mind when he is away for long
    periods. In addition, I have my own life, career, kids and family
    here to keep me on my toes and laughing. Kuddos to all the families
    that keep it together!

  11. I find this blog really interesting. I am the significant
    other to a pilot too, but we have a slight twist in that he is not
    the only Pilot in the relationship! In our lives it works the other
    way, I have to let him have his moment (and yes I get all the same
    comments about bagging a good one) before I steal the conversation
    when they finally get around to asking what I do. It seems a female
    pilot is still more of a surprise to most! I think it does the male
    ego some good to get the focus on them and it means we have to do
    less ego stroking later so I am all for sitting back and taking the
    usual comments and half the time I don’t even get around to saying
    what I do. I don’t mind though, I like to watch him talk about
    something he is so clearly passionate about and it brings a smile
    to his face when people tell me that I have done well for myself,
    he always tells me at that point he thinks “You clearly have no
    idea…” 🙂 Thanks for the blog, its a fun read.

  12. My bf is training to be an airline pilot and is away for 8 months in New Zealand, it’s sohard, and the worst part is knowing that when he is back, it won’t get any easier, i constantly feel like giving up but the love is strong enough to keep me going. I have a feeling your blog could be a life saver.

    thank you!

    • Hello

      My boyfriend is going to New Zealand for 9 months soon for his training. I am finding it hard. How was it for you when he was out there?

  13. Hi,
    I loved reading your blog. I was dating a pilot for sometime and I can identify myself with every insecurity, depression or anxiety that you have spoken about here. My relationship didn’t have a happy ending, I called it quits when I found out that he had multiple affairs. In fact, I used to get blank calls on my phone from unknown numbers. When I used to confront BF, he used to conveniently put it on me, saying I might have some admirers who is disturbing me. I put up with this shit for long until I decided that I can take it no more.
    I am now married to a really nice guy and my friends think I am lucky. Looking back, I wish things were different….coz I really really wanted it to work out.

  14. I appreciate ur efforts in making the “better-halves” of pilots connect with you. I am an Aerospace Engineering person myself and also about to take up pilot training. Reading ur blog, I can get an idea of how family life is in the aviation field :-), and I guess I have to brace myself for that. 🙂

    In fact, have added a link to ur blog from mine http://airbornegeeks.blogspot.com/
    for like minded people to follow. Please keep ur posts coming in. Love `em!!1

  15. I luv your blog, I have been with my BF for only 3 months and I miss him terribly when he is working and stumbled on your blog by accident but I find it very helpful . Thanks , Beth

  16. just fumbled upon your website…curious to know what im getting myself in for… ; )

    thanks for your insight. it’s been enjoyable.
    x

  17. Hi, there. Thanks for setting up the blog. My hubby is new to the commercial passenger airline world, but he has been teaching, flying charters and flying commercial cargo for the past eight years. We recently had a baby girl, and he was gone four days after her birth until she was nine weeks old for training. It’s nice to have a site to turn to for support. I’m working now and struggling to keep up with daily demands without him. It’s nice to know I’m not alone and that other people are surviving the demands of being so independent.

  18. Hello! Stumbled upon your blog this morning & thankful for finding other wives who can relate with what life is like being married to a pilot. Lately I’ve been struggling with being a “single” mom while my dh is away. I understand that this lifestyle has its ups and downs…. We a fortunate to live out of base but I wish that I had relationship with other wives/moms that can understand what it is like to be married to someone who is gone a majority of the time.

  19. Cool blog! My (not yet) husband is a pilot too and believe me.. I get lines like “she’s a gold digger” all the time. Simply ignore those people. They don’t know that flying does not make you rich (especially when the company you’re working for has to lay off thousands of hard working pilots because of some muslim shitheads that fly airplanes into buildings) Anyway, I like your blog! Keep up the good work!

  20. Hello

    I noticed somewhere on here that your boyfriend went to train in New Zealand for 8 months. Mine will be doing the same soon and I am dreading it. Was it all ok?


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