Partner of a Pilot
The Candid Diary of an Airline Pilot’s Girlfriend

A touch of the green-eyed trip monster

Bf has just got back from a 5 day long-haul trip that I had hoped I would be going on with him too.  Unfortunately, for logistical reasons, it was not possible.  It was a hard goodbye to say through green eyes and I have to be honest I did give him a bit of a hard time the night before he left because of my envy. Thankfully we both recognised that it was me being a touch green-eyed and a little sad… He cut me the slack I needed and I was able to pull myself together and apologise for my pouty attitude and enjoy a hug.

I missed him whilst he was away, and I did feel a pang of jealousy when he text me excitedly about the places he was visiting without me; but I was careful to make sure that the kids and I had an action packed time with fun stuff to do too-so that I wouldn’t have too much time on my hands to mourn the ‘loss’ of a trip I was hoping to go on..

Bf was particularly thoughtful and attentive to my feelings and sent me lots of texts (and called me regularly). It turned out, that of the three crews from his airline that were down route (from various areas of the UK); he happened to know one of the other First Officers and also one of the Captains.  Bf and the other FO did their ETOPS course together, and the CA and BF have done some private flying in a light aircraft together.  He and the other FO (who I also know vaguely too) ended up visiting some places together, which was some comfort to me as I prefer the idea of him being with people I know.

He tried to send me some photographs via MMS messages from his phone, but they didn’t arrive…  Whilst I was a little sad about this initially; with hindsight I think it may have been a blessing in disguise as I it might have felt like salt in the wounds whilst he was away.  Any way, I am feeling rather lucky today. He returned home with an assortment of gifts for us (he usually gets a little something for baby, but not often for me).  He had been clothes shopping and bought me a couple of nice tops from a clothing store that I like.  He even bought one in 2 sizes because he wasn’t sure which one would fit me better (thankfully it was the smaller of the two, LOL)!

The best gift of course, was having him home.  I did experience some holiday envy looking at his holiday snaps, but I didn’t let it get the better of me this time.  I do find it hard sometimes to deal with being stuck at home when he is going to a place I am especially keen to visit… I know we WILL go there some day together, and whilst it’s hard to miss out, it’s also not fair to hold his job against him just because he enjoys it.  How do you deal with this if your partner is also a pilot?

I think that my coping mechanism is distraction; but I would love to hear about how others deal with it.


9 Responses to “A touch of the green-eyed trip monster”

  1. Aww I know how you feel as regards the green eyed monster, I often get that too. My SO doesn’t really go to exotic destinations often but if he does I sometimes feel resentment… followed by guilt! I think that in my case because I am not working at the moment I also have a bit of envy that he has found a career that he loves (even though I love that about him) I just wish I could find that too… at least in your case you have your own career that you enjoy! I love to read your posts though because I think we all have these feelings so it is a comfort. On the plus side it is nice that you got a present and you now have him home!! 🙂

    • Actually Debs, another thing that has frustrated me recently is that I haven’t had any work of my own. I am self employed, and work has been thin on the ground 😦

      I know what you mean about finding comfort in reading things that you can relate to… I find it so comforting receiving comments from people who relate… I think it helps keep me sane

      And yes, the present was lovely to get, and whilst I never expect to get anything, it definitely softened the blow! LOL

      • Aww I’m sorry to hear that! Perhaps that is the reason why you feel a bit of envy at the moment, I know that is the source of mine often.
        Are you looking to do something new or are you going to wait for it to pick up?
        Presents are ALWAYS good!! 🙂

        • thanks for the comment all4areason. I am looking for something new, yes. I intend to be picky though. I want to work from home for the time being (whilst the little ones are young) and I also like the field I am working in. I may accept some short-term contracts whilst I am looking for the right role

  2. ps. sorry that you didn’t get to go, that must have been an extra pang this trip but I’m sure you will be able to go with bf on a trip again soon 🙂

  3. Hey All,

    I recently just married my husband. We have just moved to Dubai from Australia. My Husband is now based here, as his working for Emirates as an A380 Captain. his working 6 days on and 4 days off at the moment. As I am 4 months pregnant, it’s taking it’s toll without him being around, when you need him. We are a young couple our lifestyle is full-on. How do all you mother’s with children handle all of this?. just would like to know you’re thought’s?.

    • Sorry I didn’t reply sooner Heidi… I have had a rough time this year, and am only just starting to get on top of things now… I hope things are getting a little easier for you? I have 3 children, and it can be a real roller-coaster at times, but I have to say that I am feeling pretty cool with Bf’ career at the moment… I have 2 different routines… The ‘do wht I want, when it suits me, how it suits me’ routine when he is away… And the Bf routine when Im home… I do rather look forward to a bit of selfish time when he’s away (that sounds wrong doesn’t it? HAHA)

  4. I have a aircrew gf working in SIA. I do feel very envious about her flight experience and chances to visit places. I am a chem eng student in NUS, singapore who will only graduate in 2012. Both of us dont want to give up the relationship athought it will be hard. But i really need some advice on how to cope with me feeling of emptiness and envy while she is on board! thanks reading ur blog make me feel comfortable somehow.

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