Partner of a Pilot
The Candid Diary of an Airline Pilot’s Girlfriend

Scooping off the fat

Things are looking up in my life! I have been absent from the world of Blogging because I have been focussing on the things that matter to me. Notably my partner, children and extended family and friends in the real world. I found myself increasingly sucked into the web 2 world of social media and it was starting to have a negative impact on my life, because of one or two people in particular that were bleeding me dry.  It was upsetting and consuming, and I only had myself to blame for allowing it to happen.

So I went on a diet, a lifestyle diet where I cut out the things in my life that weren’t productive for me, in particular I weeded out those influences in my life that seemed to be all take and no give.  I am a very generous person, but as I learned in my counselling, my boundaries are low and my tolerance threshold has historically been too high; which has resulted in some people taking me for granted and walking all over me.  I think if I hadn’t cut out some of the excess baggage in my life, I would have snapped!

But I wanted to share with you, the good things that have happened for me over the past few months as a result or restructuring my priorities, and I wanted to share with you a story that helped me to arrive at the conclusion that I needed to make some changes… It has been doing the rounds for some time, but I guess it holds more meaning for me now as it holds a very important message regarding appropriately setting priorities in our lives:

A professor of philosophy stood before his class with some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks about two inches in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was full.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly and watched as the pebbles rolled into the open areas between the rocks. The professor then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They chuckled and agreed that it was indeed full this time.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. The sand filled the remaining open areas of the jar. “Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognise that this jar signifies your life. The rocks are the truly important things, such as family, health and relationships. If all else was lost and only the rocks remained, your life would still be meaningful. The pebbles are the other things that matter in your life, such as work or school. The sand signifies the remaining “small stuff” and material possessions.

If you put sand into the jar first, there is no room for the rocks or the pebbles. The same can be applied to your lives. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are truly important.

Pay attention to the things in life that are critical to your happiness and well-being. Take time to get medical check-ups, play with your children, go for a run, write your grandmother a letter. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, or fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first – things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just pebbles and sand.

It made me realise that recently, I have allowed my Jar, my life, to become more and more full of pebbles and sand, and so in a bid to regain the balance, I emptied my jar somewhat to regain my perspective and restore the balance.  I now have a nice clean jar full of rocks again, and only now am I starting to allow the pebbles and sand back in between the gaps where they belong.  

Since I have done this my life feels more wortwhile, and I am not only happier, but also get to sleep easier and don’t feel as burdoned with the weight of things that have no place in my life.

  • I have been under the care of a specialist consultant, which I did privately and my health scare is over… I am now in the clear 🙂
  • Bf has finished his step-parenting counselling, and things seem to be vastly improved… We’re not there yet, but we can see the light together.
  • I have devoted time to the house and we have finally almost finished our long running building work to our house. We hope to move into our new bedroom this weekend and everything else (bar the plumbing for our utility room) is just cosmetic.
  • I have confronted someone who was masquerading as a friend in my life, but who turned out to be a back-stabbing, two-faced witch, and purged all trace of her from my life. I was worried about the confrontation initially, but once I found the courage to do what I knew I had to, I felt like a black cloud was lifted from over me.
  • In the process, I was lucky enough to discover just how supportive and wonderful all my other friends are and I feel truly blessed to have them in my life. Quality, not quantity is my mantra of late! Or as one of my good friends said to me recently:

“The fat always rises to the top… Now we just need to scoop it off and throw it in the garbage disposal RrrrRrrrRrrr LOL. Keep on scoopin’ off that fat… Get rid of it!!!! Good riddance!”

    So that’s what I am doing, in keeping with my new regime!

  • One of my very best friends (Godmother to 2 of my children) had a baby girl, and she is adorable. I was even able to visit for cuddles twice already (they live a 3 hour drive from me these days).
  • We went away for an AMAZING holiday. Best ever.
  • I have booked our tickets to go to my brother’s wedding next year (he is marrying abroad).
  • I went to a massive family reunion last week… It was lovely, because I have 9 cousins on that side of the family and we were all there with our children, many of whom I have never met.
  • We have new neighbours and they have a son the same age as my younger son.  This may sound insignificant, but they no longer have a drum set and my son is no longer wandering around with a face like a wet weekend every time his older brother goes out to play.

So  there you go, things are looking up for me. I have been focussed on enjoying life, making time for the important things and not just being sucked into a virtual world and being positive and productive; and it has worked. My life is great right now, and I know it’s going to go from strength to strength.


15 Responses to “Scooping off the fat”

  1. Well written and worth the wait to hear from you again on your blog. We all need to “scoop off the fat” when it starts clouding our view of the good stuff in life. Its good to take stock of what is truly important in life.

    Two thumbs up 🙂

  2. I am SO GLAD to have you back properly! I love reading your blog and sometimes it is just what I need to put a smile on my face! I am going to be relying on it soon to keep me laughing (of course not laughing at all the serious stuff, just the funny stuff, honest!) :-). xxxxxx

    • Thank you May. I wasn’t expecting a comment from you so soon, but I am thrilled that you visited and left your mark; and I’m even more thrilled to know it put a smile on your face 😀

  3. So glad that you are back – healthy AND happy!

    • Thank you Cpt J’s Wife. I promise to catch up on your blog! I want to hear all about how life is treating you and the new little man in your life

  4. What a great and inspiring post. The positive and happy person in you in certainly back and it’s so nice to see it. Fab to see you on here, I really enjoy your blog like many others do. Glad to see the update and that everything is going well. I like you have had issues recently with the cyber world and have chosen to distance myself from it for a while to concentrate on what’s important (I had certainly lost sight of it and my relationship suffered as a result, we’re getting there though) Look forward to more posts soon x

    • Ahhhh Debs, lovely to hear from you… Just like old times! It’s lovely to see you back on here too.

      It’s a shame that the cyber world has to have it’s dark elements too. Still, a bright morning follows every dark night, that’s my philospohy


      • 🙂 good philosphy & I think you’ve handled the whole thing really well, it would be easy to ‘play the victim’ after the way you were treated but I think you found your strength which is what makes your blog so popular. Also a personal thank you for being understanding of the fact that people deal with these situations in different ways.

        My advice to anybody would be to never put personal pictures of partners or family on the internet at all unless it is on a site that can only be accessed by people that you trust i.e. a facebook account or group that is set to private.

        Anyway I hope that you will continue with the blog partner as it brightens my day when I’m in a bad mood and you clearly have a lot of support

        hugs for you xxxxxxxxx

  5. Great to see you back at it. Even greater to see you happy and rosy!

  6. I agree with everyone else! It’s great to have you back and it sounds like you are in a much better place. 🙂 YAY

  7. You forgot the real moral of the story:

    After willing the jar with sand, the professor asked the class again if they thought the jar was full. They all agreed that now it was definetly full, and they couldn’t thing of anything else that would fill the would between the grains of sand.

    Then the professor picked up a beer, opened it and poured all of it slowly into the jar.

    The moral here is that whatever’s going on with your life, there’s always room for a beer!

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