Partner of a Pilot
The Candid Diary of an Airline Pilot’s Girlfriend

My toddler thinks she’s a limpet

Today I reached a very low point, I rang a ‘close’ friend (she lives over 3 hours drive away, but we’ve been friends since I was 8), and although I didn’t mean to spill my emotional guts-that’s exactly what I ended up doing. I meant only to ring and ask how she was, since she’s half way through what started out as a difficult pregnancy (thankfully she and tiddly-bump seem great now)… I ended up on the phone pretty much gashing my emotional wounds open and bleeding my heart out down the phone! I NEVER do that to my friends, but knowing that I did that to her when she’s got a little bump to nurture has made me feel so guilt-ridden now.

After I spent a few hours shopping for groceries (something I loathe doing with Baby), my temperament had not improved. I decided enough was enough. I called my friend (the one who’s a hostie for Virgin) and asked if she fancied going to the gym tomorrow for a couple of hours.  I think that a good couple of hours of burning off all this negative energy would be just what the doctor ordered, and some fun, girly, grown-up company would be an added bonus. She was up for it, so I called the creche at the gym and was lucky enough that they had a space available for my little munchkin.  However, since I haven’t taken her there since she was less than a year old, and given that she’s prone to shyness of others-I thought it would be best to re-familiarise her with the place before leaving her there for 2 hours.

They suggested I go there at lunchtime today for half an hour and play with her there for a bit, which I did. She clung onto me like a limpet (she’s VERY shy); and wouldn’t play without me as her shadow.  At one point however she wandered off to the toy kitchen and I gestured to the staff that I would leave for 5 minutes and come back just to see if she would do better without me there.

She SCREAMED and bawled as soon as she noticed I was gone, and wouldn’t let anyone look at her or comfort her without hiding in a corner with her head buried!  I returned to find her like that, and decided just to sit with her and keep her company, whilst she played, but she just attached herself to me and cried every time one of the creche assistants so much as looked at her!  I tried to ignore her tears and chatted away to her in an attempt to distract her without smothering her.  I attempted to have a light hearted conversation with some of the other children and creche workers.

None of my efforts were to any avail though. Baby was beside-herself-distressed, and since the creche policy is not to keep distressted children there, the workers said they felt it was not worth my booking any proper sessions until I had completely re-aquainted her with the creche properly.  So I’ve cancelled my gym session tomorrow and booked 2 more half hour sessions for me to accompany her with in the creche next week instead.  What a pain.  Neither of my boys were like this; but then again, they were used to being looked after by other people from a young age.  Baby has really only ever stayed with either Bf, myself or grandparents. 

Has anyone else dealt with this? I don’t want her to be one of these children that has to be peeled off their parents limb-by-limb at the school gates in a fit of tears in a few years time. Both my boys bound in without a backward glance when they started.  Bf and I have started looking into pre-school nurseries, but unfortunately, all of the ones we’ve been looking at only take them from two and a half years old. She’s only just about to turn two.

I seriously am frustrated, I always longed for my boys to miss me just a little bit more than they did; but with Bf’s crazy long-haul roster and him not being around to support me as much as I’d like -I’d be so grateful for some personal adult space to create more balance and time out for myself.

4 Responses to “My toddler thinks she’s a limpet”

  1. Sweetie….i hate that you are hurting so much lately!!!! It kills me to not be able to help you, but just know that you are on my mind and i am here…..

  2. Sorry to hear that you have been feeling low. There is a very good support network on here so at least you always have a place to vent and get support. I don’t have any kids but I can empathise that it must be very hard trying to get “me time” I do know a lot of friends who have had very shy phases with their children and they have always grown out of it – it sounds like you are doing the best thing with baby to help her get over it and you sound like a great mum!

    I hope you get some time when bf comes home… for now sending a big hug x

    • Thanks Debs I really appreciate it. I could really do with the ral thing right now. Bf gets home tomorrow night, jet lagged, but hopefully enough energy left to at least give me a cuddle.

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