Partner of a Pilot
The Candid Diary of an Airline Pilot’s Girlfriend

Nativity Plays are great


Well, I managed one and a half hours sleep last night. I just lay there wide awake, cursing my pounding heart and the way my ticking mind was incessantly processing all manner of unimportant, random thoughts… I kept tossing and turning. I probably lost several pounds from last nights work out as I tried to sleep alone. I have lost 7lbs in the past week. 

Still, morning arrived, and I made a conscientious effort to be cleansed by the new day.  My dad was on time; which is completely out of characterfor him… He’s usually very late, and walks in looking slightly harrassed with some excuse or another about how bad the roads/traffic/weather was. Great start, good stuff.

The electricians were here today, for the second day of their work here. A few minor issues to deal with; but nothing major… I did have to wake Bf up to chat it over with him. It was 3am where he was; but it had to be done, so tough shit. In fairness he was not upset. We made it to the Church in time, and watched my 5 year old spend the best part of an hour attempting (unsuccessfully) to look interested in performing.

It did make me chuckle. He and my older son are chalk and cheese. They’re both very bright boys in the top third of their classes; but my nine year old is conscientious, competitive (he is not happy with second best in the class, has to be top) and 100% committed to giving everything he does at school. My five year old however, dances to his own stubborn tune. He is far too bright for my own good. 

His teacher tells me that he has an amazing mind for lateral thinking, and coming up with strategies that are beyond most children his age… The problem is, that he uses his intelligence to run rings around me.  They are both exceptionally well behaved, and don’t have a nasty bone in their bodies.  But my five year old is determined and single minded.  He seems to need far more guidance and prompting than his older brother. His teacher says that he has ‘selective hearing’ (so tell me something I don’t know).  Secretly I love his impish individuality, although I never let on. I have a feeling it will bite me in the arse ‘big time’ when he hits puberty though.

Any way, back to the nativity play… Most of the children had paper angels or shepherds attached to sticks that they waved aloft during various songs… My son however was notably without one, my father and I gave each other a silent knowing smile.  His teacher is obviously astute. Whilst he not vindictive or spiteful, he is a fidget, and struggles with his attention span.  Given anything attached to a stick; I’d lay money on his boredom and curiositygetting the better of him… The stick would be thrust up as high as he could reach, waved far too vegerously (to see if the angel would come off or not), or he’d poke one of his friends with it playfully.  It would probably result in tears… So all in all-it’s good to know that his teacher is tuned into him.

He was interested in his performance for approximately five minutes-catching my eye and giving me cheeky grins if he forgot the words to a song…  Then his attention obviously started to wander. He pretended to be interested maybe another ten minutes, and then started goofing around with the kid next to him. A kid I don’t much care for. He’s sweet enough, but he’s a ‘character’. He frequently gets nits, and insists on being really tactile in his play. He is a stocky, boisterous chunk of a young chap, and I can’t help thinking that mum’s parenting skills are somewhat questionable.  He really is a sweet child at the moment, but I just know that given ten years-his sweet character will have been replaced by thuggish and delinquent behaviour.  

Even his little bruiser chum didn’t seem to satisfy his boredom, and we spent the rest of the play watching the funny things that other peoples children were up to, because we could only see the back of my five year old’s head… He was obviously hatching some mischevious plan; either that or he was REALLY interested in all the stained glass windows!

Play number two was wonderful. Apart from the parking and seating in the church. I had to park ages away, and walk with baby and my bag etc in my hand. We arrived 15 minutes before it was due, and there was standing room only… Great-I’m going to have to stand for an hour with ‘baby’ (I so wished Bf was home so that I hadn’t needed to rag her along)… I walked up and down the aisles, not one person stood up to offer us a seat for me and baby. Eventually I asked one lady if she would mind if she could seat her child on her lap, so that I could sit with baby.  She looked taken-aback, but agreed through gritted teeth; giving me one caveat; that her husband was busy racing around the motorway to try to get there, and that if he came-I’d have to move… My mouth was sort of agreeing, and my head was making polite nodding gestures-but in my head, I was thinking; ‘just let this man try to tell me that he needs it more than I do-chivalry eh?  I’ll just give him that disgusted ‘one raised eyebrow’ look that says ‘what a fine gentleman you are!’

Well, at that point, the school teachers cleared a few pews up at the front, and my dad (who was still looking for a way to get seated) managed to get in there and get us 2 seats together. I left the ‘lovely’ lady I’d sat next to, to join my dad. We got the best seats there in the end! HA! (I have always instilled in my children that they should offer their seats up to ladies, especially ones who are pregnant, strugling with children, or are elderly).

My son was a super star, he articulated and projected his lines far better than all of the other children, and I could clearly identify his lovely little voice as he sang; even among the swathe of children surrounding him. He was so thrilled that we were there, and acted right to us. Hearing all the younger ones get up and turn to us to sing their songs really touched me. Sad cow that I am, I sat there with tears in my eyes. 

Baby had come along too, because we had no one to babysit, and I cleverly took a bottle of milk and some grapes with me to occupy her.  So I started to feel like Christmas was at last cracking though my ‘Bah-Humbug’ shield. As soon as Baby started to become tired and scratchy-I’d pop a grape into her chubby little paw. She was delighted. Then later, I gave her the milk, as this was usually bed time for her. She drained her bottle.  She remained happy and contented for a good 35 minutes, and then started to get scratchy, so I gently bounced her on my knees.  Then, without warning, she projectile vomited 9oz of milk and all of the grapes she’d eated all over us! It was a source of great amusement to Dad, and the lady on the other side of me.  I was covered, and my jacket is ruined, jeans and jumper were soaked.  

I managed to mop most of it up with her baby wipes and various tissues I was donated, but Baby and I stank! I am sure people around me were longing for me to leave. But I couldn’t deny my son his five minutes of fame… So I sat there in cold, damp sick soaking into my clothes until my skin was cold and damp-whist baby eyed up the grapes ammunition hungrily.  I hid them from her view… I managed to make it through the play, but made a run for it with Baby and the 5 year old, leaving Dad to fend for my star performer as the congregation sang their final hymn. 

I am now going to the ‘the lady who smelled like sick at the Key stage 2 Play for the rest of the year. I’ll wear it with pride, but this is one story that will come back to haunt her when she hits puberty.

At least my mood is a little brighter today.

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2 Responses to “Nativity Plays are great”

  1. Don’t you just love kids! So unpredictable… and whatever you do and however prepared you are, they will always catch you out! sounds like a great day. Glad you’re feeling better and hope you slept!!!

  2. Your kids sound like mine; one is a super committed star performer, one easily distracted, super bright but lazy. Guess which is the boy?!

    I don’t know how you cope with everything on your plate – no wonder you can’t sleep. Hope things get a bit more relaxing over xmas…


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