Partner of a Pilot
The Candid Diary of an Airline Pilot’s Girlfriend

Wedding of the day (a random Thursday in the winter, that is)

Well, the wedding has been and gone. The whole day reeked of vast sums of money having been spent.  I have been to some very decadent and elegant weddings in the past; some of them in castles and manor houses; but none with as many bells and whistles as this one!

I turned up to the service and took my seat in a pew a few seats behind Bf and No-Balls.  Looking around, there didn’t appear to be any couples there, except close family, so, I have to admit that I did feel somewhat uncomfortable and remorsful for my prior thoughts. We were all asked to stand for the entrance of the bride; and I immediatly felt a pang of guilt for having written so negatively about her in my blog. I immediately wished I could delete the posts from existence. I could not bring myself to look her in the face-and wore a guilt-ridden smile on my face as she made her way up up the aisle.  I was convinced that everyone could see straight through my guilt and would know I was a phony…

Then the service started. I felt like God must be looking down at me ready to strike me down for having the audacity to be present at the sacred blessing of their union when I didn’t totally buy into it. I started to feel sad and selfish; after all, I thought it is THEIR day, isn’t it? I decided to behave more respectfully, and absorbed myself into the service; and I started to feel less sceptical of their relationship… Maybe they hadn’t intended to be mean after all-perhaps they were completely genuine and I had totally misread the situation?

As we all emerged from the church, I resolved to make more effort not to take things so personally… We all went to the reception, and I attempted to avoid being in as many pictures as possible.  They really had set out to impress their guests with the money they had thrown at the bash, but it definitely lacked something on a more personal level. People were not interacting with one another very well. It all seemed very forced. 

I was very much quieter than usual, and tried to blend into the background wherever possible… I immersed myself in absolving myself of the negative thoughts I’d had about them, and almost convinced myself that there had been no intended malice on her part… Until I saw the seating plan

I looked at the plan and noticed that Bf was at one end of the top table; the cynic in me immediately looked to the opposite corner of room on one of the bottom tables (I tried to silence my inner critic, she surely wouldn’t be so deliberately or obviously mean as to not even allow me eye contact with my partner!?)  HA HA-guess what? That’s EXACTLY how mean she was! I couldn’t see him at all. I was literally as far away from Bf as I could physically be.  I couldn’t see him at all, perhaps she hoped I wouldn’t be able to hear him either? I could feel the feelings of scepticism returning (in floods) but I tried in vain to fight them off… It probably wasn’t anything intentional-seating plans are notoriously hard and political to plan-she probably just tagged my name on to the bottom of the bottom table because I was added into the equation at the last minute-bound to be nothing personal

Then I got a kick in the teeth again. She’d sat me on a table with old school friends of hers (who she hadn’t seen for 15 years)! She’d only invited them after bumping into them on the street a short time before the wedding date! So much for her limited numbers-Oh, and guess what-even their husbands had even been invited-husbands that she’d never even met!?  Why on earth did she sit me with them-knowing they’d probably tell me that? She was either the biggest bitch in the world ever; or the most stupid woman to grace the earth… It’s a tough call to decide which side of this line she falls.  Her old school chums didn’t seem too bothered about the honour of being at the posh affair either! They made a few snide comments about how ‘surprised’ they were that more people weren’t there (quite a few settings were clearly no-shows, and shortly, waiters came and removed the cutlery and place settings from these gaps). They also remained seated and exclaimed that they couldn’t be bothered to go and look when the cutting of the cake happened (even I got up to watch!), and these were the ones who’s partners HAD been invited!

I may be wrong, but I got the distinct impression that it was mostly No-Balls’s friends that had been invited minus a ‘plus one’. Bf hypothesised that maybe she had less friends than her new husband, and was trying to pad out her half with partners rather than admit this…  What a loving and equal union this looks set to be, eh?

In the evening, it would have taken nothing to invite partners really. They hadn’t laid on a free bar after the meal, and there would have been no additional expense involved-quite a few people actually commented to this effect within Bf’s earshot.  That said, I was careful not to get drawn into any negative dialogue… No good could come of it on someones wedding day.  I would only have looked like an ungrateful bitch-especially as Bf was still trying to delude himself that they meant nothing by it (hmmmm).  Still, whether they did or they didn’t plan things manipulatively… They managed to alienate quite a few of their guests with their apparent thoughtlessness.

Despite everything that might suggest to the contrary, I did manage to enjoy the day-and I loved having the opportunity to share Bf’s special role with him. I know he appreciated having me there-and to be honest I was only going for him. His speech was well received and we had a great time together. So IF Bridezilla had intended to sour my experience on her wedding day, she ultimately failed. 

Her new husband actually told Bf he couldn’t wait for the wedding to be over! I bet he couldn’t… Now he can attempt to get back the woman she is normally, without all of the expectations and demands for her special day; and who know’s maybe he’ll manage to ditch  ‘Bridezilla’-maybe she’ll become more human again? I hope so for his sake; otherwise there’s only one way things can go-and that’s pear-shaped

The day after the wedding, we returned to Bf’s parents and spent a few days with them; we’ve literally just got back-and it was great. I’m really very lucky that his family are such lovely people.  I get along with them very well, and could not have hoped for a more friendly, supportive or kind set of people to have in my life through him. 

Now that we’re back, I intend to get the Christmas tree up, and start looking forward to the Christmas festivities, I’m SO pleased that Bf is actually off this year, and that we’re spending it with my family… It’ll be magical


6 Responses to “Wedding of the day (a random Thursday in the winter, that is)”

  1. I think that is horrible how the bride treated you. I had an expensive wedding and limited my guest list at the reception too, but I sat all the SO’s of the wedding party at a table next to the head table so everyone could be near their loved one. That’s ridiculous that you were seated all the way in the back, and that they weren’t even going to invite you in the first place after all the expense it takes for a person to be the best man or part of the wedding! That’s the least a bride can do, make her wedding pary feel as special as she does and to show them thanks and be gracious in every way possible to them. This does not put her in a good light for me, since your BF is so important to her now-husband. That shows she has no respect for her husband’s friends. Not a good sign. I think you had a right to feel about her the way you did.

  2. Anna,

    Thank you so much for taking the time to write that comment. I have to admit that I had felt torn between feeling this way, and guilt for feeling this way; but you’re absolutely right, we spent over £450 of OUR money on their day-not to mention whatever Bf spent on the groom’s stag do-and right before Christmas too!

    I’m just glad it’s over now, and we shall not waste so much effort on them in the future.

  3. She obviously has no wedding etiquette!!! There is a common rule that says unmarried couples should be seated together at weddings – only married couples can be separated. I’d send her Jacquie Llewellyn-Bowen’s Wedding Etiquette book as a snide present!!!! highlighting the paragraph!

  4. Well, I never expected to sit on the top table; but eye contact, and a resonable proximity would have been appreciated.

    I never knew that rule by the way!

  5. Hey ,

    This wedding is a joke , and no matter how the day would have gone , it started so badly that you could not have enjoyed it. I see that much of the blame got to her. But in the end of the day , I am sorry to say that the groom should have stood up , if he wanted to treat his friends right. Nevertheless , we all know that the bride will often take the lead in organising the wedding .. so why not blame her …
    Not wanting to invite you was already a no way , in wedding etiquette. I would have understood if you guys would be a newly fresh couple , but you live together and have children … How damn STUPID. I am busy organising my own wedding and that would never be an option … If you want to cut the cost , invite the people that have been close to you in the last couple of years , that is the way you cut down on guest … Not on not inviting their significant other half.
    At least now you know where you stand , and cant wait for the day you get married , send the husband a day time invitation , and she can come in the evening and she can consider herself VERY LUCKY. AHahahahaha

  6. Thanks Leila,

    It’s good to know that it’s not just me being unreasonable! I was half expecting about-to-be-brides to bite my head off with a few comments!

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