Partner of a Pilot
The Candid Diary of an Airline Pilot’s Girlfriend

Pilot’s who Cheat, and are then stupid enough to BRAG about it!

I wanted to draw your attention to a comment I received today. This is a ‘name and shame’ post

Firstly, I want to re-iterate that I honestly believe that in General pilots don’t cheat, it is a stereotype perpetuated by a small minority of sleazy dirtbags; but whilst this industry certainly facilitates these slime balls to induge. They are no more in number than cheating scumbags in any other idustry. Classic example is office Christmas parties: always some scandal afterwards about who did the dirty.  I wrote a post to this effect in July called “It doesn’t matter what job you do“.

Well, today I received a comment from an author calling himself “FRANK LEYTLE” who not only claims to cheat on his wife, but also apparently wants to brag on a very public pilot wife lifestyle blog about it! Here is the comment:


I have my doubts as to whether ‘he’ posted it. I think that a female by the alias of ‘Airbus10’ (an FA with the same airline) may in fact be the author after seeing the following comment she posted on the youtube video below. Perhaps she is a girl he duped into an affair with him; who now seeks to ruin his life because he is a dirt bag. Either way, this comment may be his down fall.

This is the comment that ‘Airbus10’ wrote about the video (the comment was also made today by the way):

i am glad u posted your story (Jody).  i am so sorry u had to go through this. i have been a flight attendant for over 7years now, i wish a lot of pilot wives could read your story. i am very close with a lot of female FA’s & they tell me all the time how MARRIED pilots come onto them thinking they will sleep with them on a layover. i know a pilot who lives in WESTON, FLORIDA WHO IS MARRIED TO A SCHOOL TEAHCER & HE HAS 2 KIDS AND HE SLEEPS AROUND WITH YOUNG FA’s,… his name is FRANK LEYTLE from VENEZUELA.. I WISH I HAD THE WIVES PHONE NUMBER 4 ALL THE CHEATING PILOTS. I WILL TELL ON THEM.

Here is the video she was commenting on:

All I have to say is Frank is a DIRTBAG! Of course, ‘his’ comment, name, and alleged activities are now out in the open. If anyone Google’s his name, airline name or posts about cheating pilots, this entry will be returned for the search. If he did in fact post this comment, or indeed act this way, he is an idiot who deserves to be exposed.  I know if I was his wife, I’d want to know about it before I contracted a nasty STI. What you think?

N.B – These comments have linked discussions going on within them:

Reminiscing about the roller-coaster of feelings I had about how I’d cope with the life of an Airline Pilot’s Girlfriend/Wife before he was qualified.

Hands off my Pilot, HO!

When Pilots Cheat

Your bullets cannot harm ME! MY wings are like a shield of steel!

265 Responses to “Pilot’s who Cheat, and are then stupid enough to BRAG about it!”

  1. In situations like this, you get what you deserve from your bad behavior. He probably is a dirtbag. Aviation is a field where cheating is accessible, but again like you said…cheating can happen in any field. Private secrets rarely stay private when behavior like this goes on…the aviation world is just a *leytle* too small.

  2. HAHA! Absolutely spot on Nicole! Liars always get caught out in the end. I applaud Airbus 10 for her creativeness in making sure his karma catches up with him.

  3. I am the wife of an airline pilot who has cheated on me during our 24 years of marriage. I just found out he has been having an affair with a young fa and he is divorcing me now. I should have divorced him years ago when he cheated on me and gave me a STD. I am devasted by this most recent affair and his decision to end our marriage. He also confessed to having other flings in the past. What a dirtbag he turned out to be. These FA’s have no idea the devastation they wreak on others lives. We have 2 grown children and our family is now destroyed. I would love to hear from other wives who have gone through similiar situations.

    • EMAIL ME PLEASE………………………

    • I was married to him for 17 years. He gave me an STD shortly after the birth of our second child. I stayed another 7 years after that. He found is “HO” in Columbia. Emptied all of our accounts including the children’s.. he lived like a freaking rock star. He’d leave in his uniform and change at the airport to fly first-class down there. I should have known when he stopped bringing the pay-stubs home and we couldn’t make the mortgage on our newly built house. Anyway, he lied and lied and lied. He even lied to her about not being married. Now they are married… oh.. she’s about the same age as my son.. but guess what. I know that he’s now cheating on her!!! Ha ha… once a cheater liar always one!! Good riddance!!

    • contact me, if you want….I have five chilren and have been married for 24 years. I caught my husband in a compromising situation, not physicall…. I think he has had an affair and multiple affairs through the years while i was pregnant but have no proof. Just his character and his five brothers womanising character…narcisstic morther…etc…

    • It happened to me as well. The sad part is that I found out about a secret baby and he married the mistress (and got her pregnant again) before the divorce was final. They did everything to destroy my career and hut me and my duaghters. The good news is that God covered us and we survived. He is currently cheating on the mistress and I have the life that I never imagined I could have. A true Christ filled relationship with a wonderful man, home that is tiwce the size that he make us lose, financial security and most importantly peace and happiness for me, my kids and the new manin our lives. It was hard to let go but life goes on and gets better. I got a new promotion in my job too!!!!! Keep your head up and trust in God. He is truly a redeemer and he has shown me that the cheating had nothing to do with me. GOd has something better for you!!!

      • Great for you ! Similar things are happening for me and my children. The storm passes , you clean up the debris and find love again… Normal, decent, non-pathological… a true blessing. Good luck with the rest of it all. HUGS

  4. Losers. Just losers. I can tell you though that Weston is a suburb of Ft. Lauderdale which is a Spirit base. If the comment is untrue, someone did their homework.

  5. Becky – I am really sorry to hear your story-he was a dirtbag, and nobody deserves a man like that… Let his new silly mistress have him-sounds like they were made for each other… She’ll never be able to totally trust him knowing the circumstances under which their relationship started; so rather her than me!

    Cpt J’s Wife – I don’t believe that Frank himself made that comment; but I DO believe that this Frank and his cheating ways do exist, and that this Female FA ‘Airbus10’ has had enough of watching silently without saying something! I can’t blame her, I hope his wife finds him out before she has to go through the same rubbish as Becky did (e.g. STIs). I

  6. OH my goodness – what a video – and comment! My husband is a cargo pilot, so he doesn’t work with FA’s. But even when he did, I trusted him. Dirt bags are dirt bags, whether they wear an airline uniform, a police uniform or scrubs – it doesn’t matter.

  7. Hi Summer – Absolutely! Couldn’t say it better myself!

  8. I once had an anonymous comment on my family blog, saying that “just a warning, your husband is f***ing around on you in New York” NYC is where he is based and shares a crashpasd with a # of FAs.
    That was a confirmation of how cruel people can be and how they sort of take advantage of the stereo type.

  9. Hi Brittany, The thought has crossed my mind that this might be callous, and I did wonder whether to block the comment from appearing, but this information has also been posted on You Tube… If the wife of this man asked me to remove it, I would consider doing so-if I were 100% convinced that it were her. However, I know that I cannot be responsible for this information not making it’s way onto the Internet, and IF it is true, I believe that his wife has a right to know, so that SHE can decide whether he is worth the hassle… I know that some people will just say mallicious things to hurt people, but from reading all of the comments my gut instinct says that these comments have been made by someone who is gennuinely angry at this man’s infidelity and cheating. This comment wasn’t targeted at me, since I am clearly not Frank’s wife. In your situation, it sounds like some one was just jealous or mallicious. I must admit, I still find this sort of comment hurtfull, even though it isn’t directed at me, so I can empathise with how upset and angry you must have felt.

  10. Grew up around pilots all my life. I find that it’s often the ADD types that like to fly for employment. Soap opera’s and drama are for the immature little men still looking for a date for the prom.
    My preference is for the “Man’s Man” that owns the jet…
    Whom, has a lot more on his mind other than spoiling his well respected character.

  11. Alexandra – that seems to be a very sweeping and over-stated comment! In my opinion, ‘Attention Deficit Disorder’ types would struggle to gain a commercial pilot’s license! Also, do you realise that the latter half of your comment makes you sound like a ruthless gold digger?

    I’m pretty sure that most men, regardless of their character or wealth would run a mile from any woman who is as up herself as you seem to be, maybe it’s not their attention that is the issue in your past relationships… Ever thought that it might be your delightful personality that causes their attention to wander and not their ability to be faithful?

    In my opinion, some pilots are just the cheating type, and some will never cheat… Somewhere in the middle are the ones who make a one-off stupid mistake that they regret afterwards, and hopefully learn from it. To make such a sweeping generalisation of an entire group of individuals suggests that you are in fact: the one with issues!

    • I am a friend of a wife of a pilot who has cheated and lied and lied some more. It has destroyed her mentally. i am afraid for her safety and her daughters safety.
      The cheating is just the sad part. it is the lying and the controlling part of his personality that is the awful part.
      My friend a shell of a person since meeting him and marrying him, 13 years ago. She is extremely defensive and under his mental power, and it is breaking her down. She is becoming physically sick in many different ways. How do I help her? talking to her about it, just makes her defensive. Must she live in shame and isolation?
      He has used the sex addiction card as an excuse!!!!
      Thanks for listening,
      a friend.

  12. Im in the same boat… Pilot husband , cheated, caught, moved out.
    I worked in the industry for over two decades. Many PILOTS CHEAT. If they Drink in excess and gamble…chances are multiplied that they cheat, note the lack of impulse control.
    If they are in a “MID LIFE” crisis of sorts get yourself some couseling. You will need it.



    *Partner of a pilot* *MODERATED* – NAME HAS BEEN REMOVED AT REQUEST OF THE PILOT IN QUESTION’S WIFE – I have spoken with the wife of this pilot who is aware of this issue, they have chosen to ressolve the issus, the name and shame post has fulfilled it’s purpose

    • Are you the same person who posted the most recent comment about (NAME REMOVED-SEE BELOW) or is that someone else?

      *Partner of a pilot* *MODERATED* – NAME HAS BEEN REMOVED AT REQUEST OF THE PILOT IN QUESTION’S WIFE – I have spoken with the wife of this pilot who is aware of this issue, they have chosen to ressolve the issus, the name and shame post has fulfilled it’s purpose

    • hello delta girls, is this the pilot from delta with initials RB?

  14. Lt. Commander Erine “Jumbo” Elliott (NAS Brunswick, Maine), and now a JetBlue Captain, is a liar and a cheater.

    I was going to marry this guy. He lied to me and my kids, for over 5 years before I learned the truth about his marriage and wife!

  15. Hi okdk7 You haven’t met my man then. He is no ‘big ego’ man. In fact, I’d say he’s quite the opposite. He’s pretty quiet and reserved, and often too considerate of people who in my opinion dont deserve the consideration.

    • hi Alexandra and okdk7 also,
      Im currently completing my CPL+ir+me+mcc training,and yes alexandra,you are correct,I am a bit ADD.Nevertheless,okdk7,I will be a rarity,a male pilot with no”big ego” just like Partner of a Pilot’s husband.I am fairly quiet and reserved and wanting to be an airline pilot because it is a lifelong dream,career goal,and a good paying job.Not to mention,meeting new people and seeing new places piques my interest.Being an above 30 applicant,i’ve seen many”players” in other fields such as policemen,doctors,cooks,etc….and personally,i’ve been through my share of breakups;therefore, coming to the conclusion that its not necessarily the uniform that should be the end all and be all when judging who will cheat or not,but the person inside that uniform….hopefully,when i get married and have children,i will be faithful to them(which im CONFIDENT that i will be faithful) while on the road,so to speak…… may not agree with the above,but just my 2 cents……thank you

  16. Well Partner of a Pilot,

    A Male Pilot with no BIG EGO is surely a rarity.

    I would be interested to read of more lovers of pilots who turned out to be married. Some Flight attendant had a long relationship with my husband from roughly 2000-2001. I have some medical information i would like to share with her.

    PEACE !

  17. okdk7 That sounds ominous! If you know her name, you could probably find her on Facebook. I’m sorry to hear about your experience-it sounds like your ex was a real jerk!

    But I must say one thing, just because you were married to a jerky pilot for some years doesn’t make you an expert on all pilots. Sweeping generalisations about their fidelity is a poor reflection on your own personal experiences and makes you appear bitter.

    It’s rather like saying all Doctors have bad handwriting, or all Americans are overweight, or all French people are arrogant. It’s actually comes accross as quite ignorant, and just makes you seem jaded and bitter.

  18. Partner of a Pilot,

    I worked in the industry for 20 years. Expert ? Well I could write a book and I have studied human behavior and that does seem to qualify every Tom, dick and Harry to be an EXPERT these days.

    Jaded and bitter , perhaps… I truely hope you never find yourself in the same possition. Thinking “My Husband would NEVER”
    I no sooner hear that these days and POOF ! GONE.

    Look, the industry has been through extreme changes from when many of these pilots jumped through all sorts of hoops and spent all kinds of time and money to become pilots. The glamour is gone.
    The money is gone. The future is uncertain. Post 9/11 flying is really a drag.

    This is putting a huge amount of stress on these people. Relationships are crumbling everywhere, Not just in the Airline industry. Watch the STATS.

    I will say it again incase you didnt read it above.

    However, just like cliches, generalizations have a basis otherwise, why would i know EXACTLY what you mean about MOST DOCTORS, MOST FAT AMERICANS, and the FRENCH…

    In short, I mean no harm to you or any of the well behaved modest pilots out there. But ask any one of them about the JERKY pilots…they know them , i assure you.

    Being that this is a BLOG titled “Pilots Who Cheat and are stupid enought To BRAG about it.” I thought it would be interesting to hear the other side. Because there are always TWO sides to every story , arent there ?

    I truely wish you peace and a long happy marriage.

  19. okdk7,

    Thank you for your reply. You are right in one respect of course: divorce lawyers are one of the few benefactors of the global economic down turn. In general divorce rates are much higher, and this is accross the board.

    And you,re right that we all know and hear about the notorius ‘jerky pilots’… But we don’t tend to hear about the modest and normal ones. I guess that was the point I was trying to get accross.

    PS, I have seen a few awfully written Dr’s notes; I think that the generalisation about the French is unfair (my parents live there-it’s not true) and as for America, I’ve only been to New York once, but didn’t notice it myself.

  20. Is there any place online w can publish the names of fa’s who mess around with our husbands? It’s not only the pilot who deserves to be exposed.

  21. Hi Deb – Agreed, there is now:

    Hands off my Pilot, HO

  22. Honestly, to have a little reunion with as many as i can find and sit down , exchange notes , and then tell husband to meet me someplace and have all of us there… surely a KODAK moment

    Several Non Rev trips to NY = a few hundred bucks

    A few good bottles of wine = a few hundred dollars

    The Look on his sorry ass face = PRICELESS

  23. I was recently contacted by a pilot named Mike B., Southwest Airlines, via Skype. After our second conversation, I became 99.9 % convinced something was not right about this guy’s intentions. I began to suspect he was pleasuring himself during our conversations. His skype wasn’t working properly, so he could not see how much I could see of him. When I saw what I thought I saw it freaked me out!

    During our first conversation he asked if I was a virgin and wanted to know what kind of guys hit on me. (Strange questions, I thought)He was very flattering and said he had arranged to fly into my town the following weekend with the hopes that we could meet for dinner. I’m so glad God exposed this guy to me before I may have chosen to meet him!

    I don’t know that this guy meant me any harm, he seemed like a nice person, perhaps just with a bad habit/sexual addiction. I don’t want to fully expose him, that’s why I didn’t include his last name or user name. Just wanted to post this in case he contacts someone else who is beginning to question his intentions. If the same thing happens to you, you might choose not to meet him.

    • Great Warning. You never know who you are talking to. Guys will lie about their name, occupation, employer, M.B maybe a real pilot but not with Southwest. Who really knows the truth

      • Why do you say not with Southwest Captwife?

        • Kam,

          What I meant to express is how do you know who you are really talking to on Skype. Did Mike B. show proof he is pilot, let only an employee of Southwest?? Have you seen his FAA license, employee/security ID etc.?

          There are alot of perverts out there using skyp & other means to meet people as well as impostering occupations thinking that they will attract women easier thats all.

          I know a few Mike B.’s from school and in different types of professions. Do you know what university he attended?


          • I guess for that matter, you could argue that if he’d lie about who he worked for, he probably lied about his job too. He’s probably an accountant by that rationale.

            It seemed from his conversation with Kam that he actually wanted to meet her-if he’d lied, I’m not sure how long he could’ve kept that going…

            Cant prove it either way I guess

    • He seems like a nice guy and didn’t mean any harm. You are kidding, right?

  24. Kam,

    Good for you that his skype and his pipe were showing his true colors. LOL

    Boys and there TOYS…ewwwwwwwwwww.


  25. ok… their…oops

  26. I just have to say that after what I have been through this past year, I hope my marriage works out because I love my husband and my family very much. I have made mistakes, but no one is perfect and I am willing to keep my vows and do the for better or for worse, in sickness and in health and to be trustworthy on my part. BUT, if my husband ever cheats on me, (we are separted and hoping to reconcile), I will divorce his ass so fast his head will spin and every one in the aviation industry will know about it through every site I can find.

  27. Well Carrie,

    If you should find yourself in THAT position, have Partner of a Pilot give you my email…

    I am sorry about your seperation, hope you can work it out.


  28. I am looking for station manager who worked for skybus out in Burbank. It seems she is married and has had an affair with my Capt husband who worked for skybus. Her first name is Tina. If anyone has info on her please let me know. Thanks, Deb

    • Poor you Debbie, I wish I could help. How did you find out about it? What is a station manager out of interest?

  29. I am not real sure but they see to it that the ticket counter is going ok, they also see that the passengers are taken care of. At Skybus the managers did a lot more because it waas a low cost airline. I have been with my husband for 33 years. I want to find her. I am not sure he has cheated before but I surely would like to find out. We are starting marriage counsceling to see if it can be repaired. We have had a fairly good marriage. I don’t know if I can get past the hurt and trust. I really trusted him. Deb

  30. I found out about my husband cheating because he was also e-mailing her and he was clicking out when I came into the room. I checked his computer.

    • Couldn’t HE tell you what you want to know? Part of the deal of Bf and I staying together after his dumb stick moment was total complete brutal honesty. He witheld nothing!

  31. He won’t tell me her name. Last night he told me that they had he had been calling her and writng to her for a year. The company closed last april and so their f’ing stopped. We ended up living in India, which had I known about this woman I would not have come. I have only known for 6 weeks, now I am over here with no friends. I left my life behind, because I trusted him. If you know of any ways for me to find who she is please let me know. I really need someone to talk to that has gone through this. How long does the hurting last? Debbie

    • I would absolutely tell him that if he wont tell you the woman’s last name then you cannot gain closure, and in that case-you will absolutely not work on the marriage with him!

      Sorry to say it so straight, but he’s totally disrespecting you by not disclosing information that you are so desperate to know in order to gain closure on the incident and move on.

      If he’s not being honest with you-what make you think he will in the future-you’re allowing him to be dishonest-and STAYING with him. I cann not see this improving enough for you to ever regain the trust if he is not open with you-HIS WIFE!

  32. Debbie…….
    I sent Partner of a pilot an email for you to contact me directly if you would like…

    I look forward to hearing from you. Been there done that .


  33. DK,
    Thanks I would love some real advice as my husband says he has never done thid before and will not do it again. I don’t know what to believe. I trusted him so much.. I am devasted and don’t know how to handle it. Debbie

  34. Well,

    After a couple of years in limbo I have a lot to share with you and may have found a contact for the person you seek.

    Take a deep breath and you may want to get some individual counseling at this time. It is a lot to get past but it is not impossible.


  35. Ill tell you one thing..the anonimity of these people is part of the problem……… NO MORE !!! if they can just find this place.

    OH “what she /he doesnt know wont hurt them ”

    Bullshit………this is not a game is it the decay of our country.

    As a country “WE ARE only as strong as our weakest link”
    And that would be the FAMILY UNIT…

    So for all of you people who think your children dont need you in their lives daily , think again…and when your country falls …….you are to blame if you can not rise to occasion,

  36. I have been told that there is a budget airline in Malaysia whereby the FA’s say things along these lines :- Can I enter your COCKpit captain? Or did I do the announcement right captain? Does that turn you on?

    I know it’s not really in line with the title of this discussion but I thought it interesting to let you guys know. So much for professionalism huh?

    • Frankly Lee,

      It doesn’t surprise me that in some countries where these pilots are perceived to be super wealthy, that FAs are desperate to please them into a ‘relationship’. I guess you have to ask yourself whether a gold digger is appealing to most guys?

      I know that when my Bf’s airline charters to these types of places, if any of the (single) guys pull one of these girls, they call it ‘the walk of shame’ when they bring the girl down to the hotel foyer in the morning.

      It’s not really seen as a trophey, because any one of these men could’ve had her

    • Thanks, the more knowledge we have the better. The young fa’s especially foreign born really “work” the pilots. And, if the pilots are US citizens (expats) they pilots are a walking talking green card for the fa’s who make little $$$$.


  37. Well,
    If the pilot is married with children … There will not be too much gold left to dig. But if they dont mind being entertained at the pilot’s mother’s house…go for it.

    That is all he will be able to afford after a BIG AT FAULT DIVORCE.

    Joke is on them, ALL OF THEM.


  38. Thanks for all you advise and help. I am so glad to find tis site. I am really trying to work through this affair thing. It is so painful at times. I feel like I could just throw up. I do love my husband though and think his has not done this before.

  39. I have spent hours and hours reading all the parts of this site.
    I found it very helpful.

    For what it is worth.




    LADIES – STAY AWAY!!!!! **911**

    • Keisha,

      Do you know which airline he flew for or what his first name was?

      Why are you so certain that he is HIV positive? If you genuinely believe this-you should report it to his airline, as I am fairly positive that this would be a deal breaker for his pilots license.

      Also, someone who knowingly endangers a healthy person with HIV is actually committing a criminal offence, so you should also report it to the police if you have genuine reason to believe that what you are saying is true.

    • Keisha,

      Good God! What an s.o.b. These men are nuts not using a condom. It is reckless, hazardous and they must have a “death wish”!

      For everyone out there if you look at a man’s cell phone log of phone numbers, pay attention to abbreviations such at the letter “t” or “tv” or “ts” or “lb” before or after a person’s name it stands for tranny, transexual, transvestite, transexual or lady boys!

      This happened to a friend of mine where she found out the guy was bisexual. Also, be wary of pilots you like to fly to BKK Bangkok alot. It is the city known for all the “she male” prostitutes & other deranged fetishes.


  41. Hi all,
    Thanks for your help in locating the womans name.. I don’t know what to do with it yet. My husband has told me how sorry he is that this happened but since he called and e-mailed her for a year after the sex was done, I have a hard time believing that it ws nothng more than sex. He was addicted to her making hin feel good or something. He was drinking a lot at the time and he has a drinking problem. He says it is no excuse but drinking does lower your resistance to temptation. I have a notion to call her and at least tell here what a whore she is. She was married and was ending hers and figured she would take mine. I am still broken up and it has been over 2 months since I fould out. I feel humilitied and stupid for believing it would not happen to me. Debbie

    • Debbie,

      Your feelings are completely natural. Have you thought about seeing a counsellor? I did, and it has honestly turned my life around.

      The alcohol thing is true, although as you say, he wasn’t drunk for a whole year afterwards, so he is still responsible of betrayal, even sober.

      If it were me-I would HAVE to call the other women-to get her version of events. Did she definitely know you existed? She may not have.

      • Dear Debbie,

        Check out the website by christian carter. Ineteresting advice for married & single woman & how to deal with men. Most importantly keeping emotional attraction, men stray like idiots to find it elsewhere if they lose some or all of the attraction with their spouse. Keep in mind that “knowledge is power” and I know you are having terrible days. Men like to hide to avoid confrontation, they are such cowards when it comes to the home front.

        You have a lot to deal with now & I hope you get a good counselor and getting some good reading materials on why men cheat, they really or the messed up ones, the ones who cheat.


  42. I am still hurting 2 months after my discovery of my husbands affair. I know who the woman is now and I feel like calling her and letting her know what a whore she is,. Just because she broke up with her husband she tried to get mine. Now I don’t know if i even want to keep him. Debbie

  43. Debbie,

    The cow is probably on to other pastures by now. I have a feeling she wont give you the time of day. She is a cold hearted skank.

    I would find anything she said hard to believe. What if your husband did lie… what if she has a grudge against him ? What are you to believe.

    This may be one of those times you just DONT NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING. At some point you will need to get past it and in my opinion the fewer “pictures and film strips ” that you have running through your head the better.

    But, you’ll do whatever you need to. So sorry to find yet another in the SAME BOAT.


  44. Keisha,

    There is a pilot who matches his description on

    What a crazy site that is.

    Yes, what makes you think he is HIV Pos ?


  45. Oh my goodness okdk7. I just checked out that site! The lady who I believe inspired this post ‘Airbus 10’ seems to have listed the name of every cheating pilot she knows on there!

    If you suspect that your Spirit Pilot is a cheat, and want confirmation, I suggest you look there, the format of all her posts is the same, Name and rank, (either “FO” or “CA”)

  46. I felt hard for a married pilot named (NAME HAS BEEN REMOVED-SEE BELOW), he cheats on his wife and then he cheats on me. What did I expect? What an asshole

    *Partner of a pilot* *MODERATED* – NAME HAS BEEN REMOVED AT REQUEST OF THE PILOT IN QUESTION’S WIFE – I have spoken with the wife of this pilot who is aware of this issue, they have chosen to ressolve the issus, the name and shame post has fulfilled it’s purpose

    • Very good question… What did you expect ? I mean what did a married man say to you that made you think you were the “ONE” and that he would cheat no more…
      or was it that shallow of a relationship that you didnt really care ?

      It sucks. If you are ever married with children I hope you never have to live through it.


  47. sounds like it

  48. I fell hard for (*NAME REMOVED AT REQUEST OF PILOT’S WIFE*) too! I wonder how many girls he has out there…..and he acts like he is such a nice guy!!

    *Partner of a pilot* *MODERATED* – NAME HAS BEEN REMOVED AT REQUEST OF THE PILOT IN QUESTION’S WIFE – I have spoken with the wife of this pilot who is aware of this issue, they have chosen to ressolve the issus, the name and shame post has fulfilled it’s purpose

    • Wow, he really is a jerk off!

      • Yes, he is a total jerk. My friend told me to Google (NAME HAS BEEN REMOVED-SEE BELOW). I was so surprised when I saw this website……..of course I was stupid to think that I was the only flight attendant in his very busy life. I wish I never flew with him.

        *Partner of a pilot* *MODERATED* – NAME HAS BEEN REMOVED AT REQUEST OF THE PILOT IN QUESTION’S WIFE – I have spoken with the wife of this pilot who is aware of this issue, they have chosen to ressolve the issus, the name and shame post has fulfilled it’s purpose

  49. Hi all,
    I have not had a chance to catch you up on my progress so here goes. We are both seeing a marriage counsler. I think we are making good progress even though i still have crying fits. It has been 3 months now since the affair. He is telling me more things as we go along and I believe he got in over his head. Tina was also married and he thought he would be safe sleeping with her as she would not want to get attached to himn either. He had no intention of leaving me for her. But soon after they started together her husband left her and she then told my husband that she loved him. They stopped sleeping together because the company that they worked for closed down, (Skybus) He says he was not going to sleep with her anymore anyway because it started to get complicated since she now was single. He says he didn’t think he would get caught and she was safetly married. I really thinks he loves me and always has. His drinking got in the way and we were seperated for 8 months because of the job. He had to move to columbus and I had to close up our home in Michigan and finish my job. We were both lonely. He was also drinking a lot. I still hurt like a son of a bitch, but at least I know that it is over with them and she did not get my pilot, at least not for long. I think she is a whore and I think my husband is just as much to blame. What makes people think they can do these things to their spouses?

    • Debbie,

      While it is not easy to hear, you are so fortunate that he is chosing to be honest and work at the marriage. It really is a good sign.

      Good Luck

  50. Wow. I read all of your posts and I have a few interesting observations. I think I’m uniquely qualified to offer my opinion because I was married for twenty years to a doctor who cheated – at least three times. After my divorce, I met a pilot who claimed to be single – but after a few weeks, I discovered he was married and I ended it (there was never an “it” anyway – the relationship never got that far, thank God). We remained platonic friends and that was how I met his single friend – who also happened to be a pilot.

    I live in LA – and he lives in Seattle. We’ve been on and off for two years – because of the distance and because of his never-ending relationship with a former girlfriend (flight attendent). From what I understand though, she and I aren’t the only ones. He has cheated on his ex-wife and dates other women even though he claims to want a serious, committed relatioinship. This man is incapable of committing to anyone. It’s difficult for me sometimes, but I do value the time we have together and I’ve managed to compartmentalize our relationship – however it may be defined.

    Which leads me to my observations regarding the comments on this site:

    1. You ladies wonder why “Your Pilots” have big egos? When you’re referring to them as “My Pilot” and since men define themselves by what they do – it’s no wonder. They’re just people…just like you and I. Imagine if someone said “Not my Doctor” or “Not my Teacher” – blech. I’m simply stating the obvious – and to me, it appears as though these guys have been put on a pedestal because of the risk and responsibility of their jobs. Respect is one thing – objectifying is another.

    2. You claim you want to know…and you want to know who…and the details. When it happened with me, I wanted the same – I wanted it all. I’m telling you – it made it 10,000 times worse. When he opened up and gave me that information – no longer was it his nightmare or guilt trip. No, he’d purged and asked my forgiveness. Yes, he felt bad…but it wasn’t his burdon any more…it was now mine. The advice I give friends today – if you cheat and have learned from it – never tell. It’s YOUR burdon to carry with you to your dying day. If you’ve been cheated on – don’t pry for details. Trust me…you DON’T want to know. If they’re willing to work on it and so are you – try to move forward without too much rehashing of the past. Try to determine what it was that lead up to the affair. THAT’S the problem that will require your attention. An affair is a symptom of much, much bigger ailments within a marriage. I’m not saying it’s all your fault or it’s right to have an affair – far from it. I’m saying it takes two to contribute to the downfall of a marriage…but once he crosses that line into adultery, it’s ALL his. The better choice would be to work on the marriage or separate before either person involves a third party.

    3. And then we come to those chronic cheaters….and my on-again-off-again boyfriendloverjustfriends-can’t decide what the hell he wants…person. I’ve finally…finally come to terms with this and the only way I can even live with the fact that I do love this guy, we do have fun…but until he has an epiphany – we’ll never be right for each other – is to understand that I cannot…will not…could not…ever force someone to change their behavior. I cannot control his actions from so very far away. So, I can either accept him the way he is for the brief times we’re together – or I can choose to remove him from my life. Either way, the power and the decision is all mine.

    4….almost forgot this one…
    Please, do me a favor…leave the women who have had affairs with your men alone. It’s easy to point and spout right from wrong – I did it – and I confronted them, too. It was awful and there wasn’t a bit of satisfaction in it. At the end of the day…(after many, many months of therapy), I realized that they had very little if nothing at all to do with his straying. It came down to the quality of our marriage (referring to my ex husb), and HIS BEHAVIOR. HE made the CONSCIOUS DECISION to cheat. If it wasn’t with one gal – he would have found another. My suggestion again would be to dig back before the affair. Discover what when wrong in the months and years before it happened. Be open to some critical thinking and self-examination. Just remember – he owns the affair. Not you, not the other woman – it’s ALL HIS.

    Please be strong – you will survive this – and you will come out ahead – no matter the outcome of your relationship. Trust me…I did.


    • Thank u for this post, I ha e been obsessing about the other woman and asking him all detail which he does not tell ( thankfully) and reading how it will then become my burden it made me realize that I do not want to know what he did in his little vacation with her for 3 days, eventhough my mind does think about it Nd plays scenarios

  51. Hello Step…

    Well put.

    However I disagree with one point. It takes two to keep a marriage going. Its very hard work, especially when children

    It only takes ONE and THEIR ISSUES to break a marriage up. When there is no solid communication i have seen many spouses (both husbands and wives) become literally DOORMATS to try to make their NEEDY spouses happy. Hard to compete with the annonimity and romance of the ROAD. You know ?

    For someone who has dated not one but TWO cheating pilots i can see why you dont think the OTHER WOMAN had any fault… YA… I feel badly that your counselor lead you to think that YOU ultimately had done anything to make your husband stray. No person is perfect, no marriage is perfect, its two people who WANT to be TOGETHER . Had your Husband given you an opportunity to work with him on the marriage I would agree , but i doubt he gave you that respect, did he? And, did his Other Woman/Woman know he was married? And were they faithful to him ? Ya…

    Where is the accountability ?

    Anyway… hope you find a nice relationship that suits your needs.
    And a side note…the fastest growing segment of people being treated for STD’s = Middle aged women who are recently Divorced . Keep it safe GF.


    6’4″ African-American, short hair, tall, on lean side.
    Married To Dina Grant and Has 9 Year Old Daughter Adeia.
    Is Dating Every Young Girl IN SITE In Las Vegas with no regard to his cheating and lying for his wife.
    DOES NOT USE A CONDOM!!!! I know this as I was one of those he dated.
    He comes across as a clean, upstanding, well-presented, calm, funny good guy but he is anything but.
    His wife doesn’t appear to know a thing about his nasty habits.
    He keeps everything a secret including sleeping with different girls while emotionally having them become attached to him.
    Speaking to him he is charming, intelligent and NO ONE would ever think that he is such a cheat and a liar but he IS, believe me HE IS!!!
    He says he is going to divorce his wife but unless she finds out he won’t
    In the meantime he is wreaking havoc in LAS VEGAS….

  53. I’m wondering if anyone has any dirt on a Pilot named RB.
    Flys us air out of Salisbury, Maryland

    • Why is that Ani?

    • Is he 51 middle initial M ?
      I havent found anything yet…

      Did you try FACEBOOK , MYSPACE , HI 5 ?

      What A/C and what are his routes ?

      • Yes, that info is correct.

        Please don’t go out of your way.. I know that probably not too many people know of this site.. maye I’m wrong about that. I just wanted to see if anyone knew anything. It’s like finding a needle in a haystack.

  54. I think he is leading a double life but don’t have proof.

    • Ani,
      Partner of a Pilot will give you my EMAIL address.
      Feel free to contact me regarding your suspicions.
      I may be able to help you get to the bottom of it.

      Im hesitant to put things on the site for obvious reasons.

      Good Luck,

  55. I’m afraid to give out my email address.

    How can you help?

    • Hello Ani,
      Just to let you know, the 3 females listed as relatives of his on my search each had different addresses.
      If one was a wife it likely would have showed up with the same address.

      Nothing solid… gotta start somewhere.

  56. I worked in the Industry for 20 years and have contacts all over.
    I am very creative and have been able to save all sorts of money by doing my own investigative work prior to hiring a PI for legally obtained proof of infidelity.

    I believe Partner of a Pilot will vouch for me !

    I have helped a few gals on here already.

    Dont put your email address on this site… email a note to Partner of a Pilot and she will give you mine…

    Believe me i understand your hesitancy.


  57. My United Captain (767/757) and I have been married for 35 years. Just found out 4 months ago he has been unfaithful to me. The first affair started 20 years ago. His story is that a passenger (Karen) passed him a note. He was deadheading. They had sex. He had sex with her 2 more times over a four year peiord (last time 1993). His last call to her was in January. She says they had sex once and it was not memorable. She lied about her age and is 10 years older than he. She is now 65 and has gone through cancer treatment twice. She says I am making more out of this than what it is.

    He says nothing else happened after that until 2005 when he was based in NY. Found out he shared his crashpad with FA’s. One he had oral sex with. She denied it. Her phone number was still in his phone. Then started the trips to Sao Paulo (2007). I am such a fool. I thought he preferred flying there as oppsed to Europe because of there not being much of a time change. He had 19 trips there in a year. He met Darla at a bar. He first said he had sex with her four times on two different trips. Then it turned into 7 or 8 times. Found out she lied about her name, age, and occupation. No condom a few times. Humiliating going through the STD testing (and expensive). Last trip there was a year ago. Last call was in March. She speaks very little English. I got our Skype history (with his approval). He said he called her 7 or 8 times, turned out it was 36 times. Also on the Skype history was one call to London and 4 or 5 to Rio. I know he is not being truthful to me yet and probably never will be. Also he had oral sex with a FA whose last name is Vanderbur (not sure about the spelling, could be Vandabur or Vanderburg). Can anyone please find out her first name and contact information for me? I believe she was on a South American trip with him. Now, he is very remorseful. We have 4 children. Three are married and the fourth just started college. One son just got married in May. It was incredibly hard to listen as our oldest son who was preforming the ceremony explain the meaning of marriage. I have been a mess and have lost 28 pounds. We are both in counseling. I so want to move forward. I hate though how he knows all the details of the last 20 years and I know only what he’ll share. The book my therapist recommended is entitled “After the Affair.” It helped me realize that other people’s reactions are the same as mine.

    We do not want our children to know. We live in a very small town. There is absolutely no one I can share this with outside of therapy and docs. My family doctor has put me on meds. Doesn’t feel like I can process everything yet. My husband’s relationship with God is growing. We are both praying for each other. I continue to repeat to myself that he would take it all back. He is truly remorseful. I still love him but still can’t let everything go like I want to. Also, does anyone know of a reverse phone search for Brazil. The ones I have tried do not turn up anything. Feels a little freeing to write this all down. How long will my mental agony continue? What do I have to do to get rid of it? Please help with Vanderbur’s info. Thank you for letting me vent…. Oh, left out how I found out. Counted his hidden Cialis.

    • Lou, sorry to meet you here… but welcome to the club.
      You can contact me at my email by sending a note to Partner of a Pilot.
      I will do some checking on the name, and Brazil reverse phone list.
      For what it is worth… At some point you may realise its just MORE DATA on the same… and more images that will be most difficult to get out of your head. At some point you will need to process it all and DETACH from it somehow… it can be done…but i dont know how knowing more DATA will be of much help.

    • P.S. has no Vanderbar names…many Vanderbur/Vanderburg im guessing its safe to fule out the Vanderbar spelling. Do you know the base?

  58. Hi there. I am a pilot (don’t hate me yet – hear me out!) on long haul operations for a major international (outside of USA). I am sorry to say that it is dificult for me to defend pilots a lot of the time. I actually can’t think of many pilots I know that haven’t cheated. I came from working in the corporate business world, and there are people that cheat there as well, but pilots seem to be infinitely worse. I believe it is cultural – pilots tend to socialise with pilots, and for a lot of them it seems to be quite acceptable for them to cheat. It’s not even that they feel they are doing anything particularly wrong. Everyone else around them is cheating, so they do too.
    I would also add that from what I have seen, cabin crew are just as bad for cheating – they are also part of this bizarre culture.

    • Appreciate the input as well.

      I just don’t understand why someone should be married or want to stay married if they practice infidelity. I might be just different since I have never been unfaithful to anyone in my life (boyfriends or spouse). Could be in the genes or strong integrity.


    • Dear Mike,

      Out of curiosity any input why married people feel comfortable with being with strangers, i.e. 1, 2 nite stands on a trip?

      Don’t they care where that other person male or female may have been?? I was single most of my life & took careful precautions.

      My soon to be ex goes condomless (men & woman) and when asked “WHY” I get no response. That is why I am asking for opinion.

      Appreciative of your insights.

      Thank you,


      • CAPTWIFE
        I can only speak for the guys that I know here.
        The thought process is as simple as – “there is a pretty girl, I want to have sex with her”. It isn’t any more complex than that. As for not using a condom, that is just silly. I’m sure most men take precautions these days. Don’t know why your husband didn’t.

        I feel like I am taking over this comments section, which was never my intention, so I’ll go away now.

  59. Mike,

    Thank you for your response. I knew of the pilot reputation but just honestly believed my husband would not be one of “them.” I believed he was the most honest person I knew and believed he had the highest moral integrity of anyone ever. I honestly believed he would never hurt or cheat anyone. He is a great person and wonderful father. That is why this is so hard for me to swallow. I feel personally violated. Your response helps me think that maybe it was just for the sex and environment. I want him to discourage any of his crew from cheating, to be honest with them and how it has hurt me so badly. I have developed a stuttering problem as a result of this. I don’t hate the pilots but the next time I fly it will be difficult not to say, “Don’t F*** the pilots or S@@@ their D@@@@” to the FA’s. Or at least make them aware how horribly people can get hurt if they mess with a married man.


  60. Hey Lou. Sorry to hear how much you have been hurt. It must sting like hell. I can’t comment on your personal situation, but knowing what these guys are like, I would want the women to know that they had not done anything wrong. She could be the most amazing woman in the world, and some of these guys would still cheat on her. Anyway, I’m not a therapist so I’ll shutup now.

    • Dearest Mike,
      Thank you for your input…just curious, HOW DID YO FIND THIS BLOG ? What in the hell were you GOOGLING? LOL

      • OKDK7, I can’t remember what I was googling, but this website often comes up on Google when you do searches related to pilots. I have seen it many times before, but only this time did I decide to post on this site.
        Why doesn’t someone set-up a dedicated website to this topic? Seems like it creates a lot of interest.
        It is also very interesting for me to see the other side of the story. I only hear from the pilots who are cheating, and here I can see what the women have to say.
        I should just say that not ALL pilots cheat, just that a lot of them do.

        • Erm, Mike. This site isn’t dedicated to cheating, only a few posts! Hit the home page and you will see archives of posts that are about many other aspects of pilot ‘wifestyle’

          Enter a search in the search box on the main page. There are many far more positive threads and posts

          • Hi Partner of a Pilot – I know it isn’t dedicated to cheating, which is why I said someone could put up another site. This website is your personal blog, and look how many people have found it and started posting about their husbands/boyfriends etc cheating. There is clearly significant interest in this topic.
            It was just an idea.

            • ok Mike… Start one and I will be a regular…
              I will miss this place though…


            • I am not actually bothered Mike. I tend to think of this particular entry as not being ‘mine’ any way. It is something I simply feel that I administrate.

            • HAHA OKDK7-you would not! You wouldn’t be able to tear yourself away from this one when people commented… It would just give you a new site to play at too 😉

  61. Thanks Mike!


  62. Dear Lou,

    Wow……do I feel for u. I just confirmed this yr. that my long haul overseas 777 Capt. husband has been unfaithful to me for most of our 11 yr. marriage.

    And….that was happening here in the states! I did not get suspect of anything until he retired early from his company to fly for a foreign carrier last year. Double dipping in more ways than one! That is w/retirement pay, new company pay and cheating with men AND women, actually mostly men.

    I am still in trauma from this horrifying discovery. My friends & family were fooled and betrayed by him. Our aviator friends in the states are sickened & disgusted by him. And my college aviator friends will hurt him if they see him in a terminal somewhere.

    I think these guys should all be reported to the CDC for negligence of spreading std’s, hpv virus etc. while using the profession they are in to facilitate this behavior. It is criminal in the middle east countries, I think it should be criminal in all countries. This is likely where their per diem is going on the company dime, company time for prostitutes & affairs.

    My soon to be ex is the nicest good hearted appearing person on the outside and will fool anyone at anytime. So many people think he is “good hearted” ha, ha, ha.

    He is currently, compulsively continuing his perverse behavior at mach speed. He is dangerous and will spiral down fast at all his own doing. He had a devoted wife that loved him all the time, prayed for him on his flights, never whined about his reserve hours, contributed to income & real estate success. I hate to say it, but I have never loved anyone so much in my life just to find out that everything he was & ever memory was FAKE!

    Besides losing a love of my life I will be losing hundreds of thousands of dollars in this divorce. In addition, his career is at an all time high, while my career went crashing down as a result of the real estate market. Now at 51 I have to figure my life from the beginning! Thank god I gave myself a good university & post grad education. Time will tell if I am hireable at this age. Well can’t wait to move out of his “golf course” dream house that I sunk in over $250k. He will have no more dream home and no more beautiful wife, what has he done???…….. as the song goes!

    Men who cheat on their wives with the same or opposite sex are stupid loosers. I will NOT be associated with someone stupid or a looser. My divorce cannot happen fast enough. Years of my life robbed. And the insane thing of it all is that my husband was talking about finding a small home for retirement just prior to the confrontation of infidelity!!!

    Whee, gotta catch my breath. Only on 1/2 the meds that i started early this yr. I grieve terribly, hurt terribly am traumatized but according to the docs it is a process and anger is next, oh oh is it going to be a doozy. Let’s say a Global Seismic event.

    Every here the saying…..throw a bunch of bananas into a cockpit & see what happens…..??? ANSWER: A bunch of chimps go into the cockpit after the bananas. Quote from a good UAL Capt. friend of mine.

    Hang in there Lou, keep mentally strong, keep repeating that. Someone told me that a few months ago (an aviator). Emotions happen, but keep MENTALLY STRONG & shrewd! I really thought of “ending it all” but being mentally strong saved me.

    Keep me posted. My prayers are with you.


    • I need to talk to Captnwife i am going thu hell & want to talk to someone who knows what it is like

    • I am so sorry for your pain. I to was dating a pilot with the same behaviors…he almost destroyed me. I am glad I found strength to pull away. My prayers are will all of the victims of these sociopaths….

  63. CAPWIFE,

    Thank you. Prayer is what is keeping me going at this point. Sorry to hear your story also. So glad I found this site as this is my only vent other than counselor who I must stop seeing because of insurance issues. Will have to find anyother one but hate to have to say it all outload again. It will get easier right?
    He left for Moscow today. This is the first time I won’t have contact with him for a couple of days. It is easiest when he is home and I can see the remorse on his face.


  64. Dear Lou,

    Some words from experience. See counselors especially when he is out of town. This is a bad period and the appts. will fill up the time. Also, it is best not to switch counselors but if u have to make sure it is someone who is not 25, or 35 but a counselor who has been around in “life” and is at min. your age. They have more input & advise. Make sure u go to your appts. prepared with questions, u don’t want to waste an hr. talking to a wall that just bobs their head!

    Go to a spa get a message on his dime, everything from now on is his dime. Get the works done even if u do not need it. If u like casinos, go to a show with a girlfriend, get the spa and have fun. I guarantee you someone else is having fun.

    Also, the “remorseful” face. Yikes, i see that hurt baby look every 6 wks. when my husband comes back to the country to pack up more of his things from his “DREAM ESTATE”. That remorseful look is from being CAUGHT. Just like a child!

    Moscow eh, Moscow makes me sick. What the hell is he selecting that destination for. There are other motives. Just like the pilots choosing BKK for their trips. That is Bangkok, Thailand. Don’t let his “diseased” ass back in your clean sheets! My husband stays in the spare bdr. w/ bath at the other 1/2 of house.

    Keeping all this crud inside will start ripping u apart. Protect your children and most importantly your self. My husband defrauded me my whole marriage, your husband has currently defrauded you.

    Hate to say it but an adulterer who has been caught and feels “bad” and may feel guilty to be with you WILL go somewhere else to find comfort, especially in Moscow where the girls will put on the “comfort show of affection” for his boo who feelings for himself.

    Be on your toes hon, and keep mentally strong, really mentally strong. L

  65. Dear Lou,

    Some words from experience. See counselors especially when he is out of town. This is a bad period and the appts. will fill up the time. Also, it is best not to switch counselors but if u have to make sure it is someone who is not 25, or 35 but a counselor who has been around in “life” and is at min. your age. They have more input & advise. Make sure u go to your appts. prepared with questions, u don’t want to waste an hr. talking to a wall that just bobs their head!

    Go to a spa get a message on his dime, everything from now on is his dime. Get the works done even if u do not need it. If u like casinos, go to a show with a girlfriend, get the spa and have fun. I guarantee you someone else is having fun.

    Also, the “remorseful” face. Yikes, i see that hurt baby look every 6 wks. when my husband comes back to the country to pack up more of his things from his “DREAM ESTATE”. That remorseful look is from being CAUGHT. Just like a child!

    Moscow eh, Moscow makes me sick. What the hell is he selecting that destination for. There are other motives. Just like the pilots choosing BKK for their trips. That is Bangkok, Thailand. Don’t let his “diseased” ass back in your clean sheets! My husband stays in the spare bdr. w/ bath at the other 1/2 of house.

    Keeping all this crud inside will start ripping u apart. Protect your children and most importantly your self. My husband defrauded me my whole marriage, your husband has currently defrauded you.

    Hate to say it but an adulterer who has been caught and feels “bad” and may feel guilty to be with you WILL go somewhere else to find comfort, especially in Moscow where the girls will put on the “comfort show of affection” for his boo who feelings for himself.

    Be on your toes hon, and keep mentally strong, really mentally strong. Let your crying out compartmentalize it and be mentally shrewd!


  66. For anyone who suspects their “PILOT” is traveling to BKK or any other SEX TRADE funland … Try making several copies of articles like this and leave them everywhere…. in his glove box, flight bag, underwear drawer…etc etc…


  67. This was the one I printed out…
    For the Dominican Republic…/Haiti.
    Oh yes…fun is.


  68. OKDK7,

    hmmm…maybe I will. Two problems though. One, I don’t want to get sued, and two, I have no way of verifying the information from the woman. How do I know she wouldn’t just be accusing a guy of cheating because he dumped her and she wants revenge (I’m not suggesting that about the people on this site, but it could be a problem on a wider scale)? What are your thoughts?


    • Howdy Mike,

      Good point. YEP, YOU ARE RIGHT! Be very careful on the legal end of it. Responses to people’s anguish in relationships are genuinely meant to emotionally help the individual. But, you never know who might be using information for other things…including fraud, revenge etc! That is just bad.

      Responses to my venting on this site I hold dear & it helps me emotionally and vice versa. That is what I need it for. Especially since friends that we were developing overseas where my soon to be ex is will now never happen.



    • seem to function without being sued!

    • But you are right, I have had one female on here post comments wondering about ‘her’ pilot’s reputation, and later email me confessing that he had in fact disappeared from her life. She asked me to remove her comments because she did not want to be responsible for potentially wrecking someone’s career on a hunch, based on bitterness.

  69. OKDK7,

    Please contact me privately. You should have my email address.

    Thank you.


  70. Hello Ladies,
    Thank you for your messages. You’ve all made some really good points for me to think about regarding the website.
    I wonder, what about a website that basically allowed women to ‘vent’ about men, but didn’t identify them? Would that be of interest or does it defeat the point of the site?

    • Hmmm, I doubt it. I think that the reason ‘Don’t date him Girl’ is so popular is specifically because it names and shames offenders

    • Ahhhhhhh Mike… being a pilot’s wife or significant other is a trying task. In theory the longer they fly the better their pay and schedule.. but alas, all that has changed in recent years.

      To begin with you need to have FABULOUS communication. If you are married to them with children you need to have access to EVERYTHING in order to maintain a home and such. Also, you need to trust them…that they say they are where they say they are and making $$$ what they say they do….

      Even when things between you are great , the life of a pilots gal is no easy task. Taking care of Children,home,pets,family events, finances, investments etc etc etc while they are away takes a strong, self reliant, honest woman.
      Then you have to find a way to let him glide into some random sense of BEING . That is, once he has RESTED from his “TRIP” Assuming he wasnt out with the crew drinking or playing golf for the entire down time, it is easier to swallow. Otherwise it is a kick in the teeth.

      Once the trip trust is gone the rest is down the shitter. ALL OF IT !

      When you cant even rely on them to be where they say they are….or that the take home pay is what they say it is, or that they are not putting you in jeopardy financially , physically , emotionally etc etc etc It is a relationship like no other.

      NO idea where they are
      No access to financials
      No idea who they have been DOING whilst doing YOU…ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww male of female…yuck

      Anyhow… there are so many intracies i could go on and on…. and the BROTHERHOOD…ALL IN THE SAME BOAT !!!!! For shits sake….GROW THE F UP !

      There… was that a nice little RANT ?
      I feel better…. hahahahah


  71. Partner of a Pilot
    OK, bang goes that idea then. It was going to be my sneaky way of having a website without the associated risks. I’m working on another idea now…

  72. OKDK7
    Being a pilot’s wife does sound like a trying task and with so much to take care of.
    It was quite a rant and I think you may have worn your keyboard out, but feel free to rant away anytime if it makes you feel better. Venting is good.
    Actually what you wrote seems really balanced and thoughtful. I wonder how many pilots out there realise how much work the gal is putting into the relationship. I bet you a lot of them have no idea. Did you ever tell him what you just told me?

    • Well Mike,
      I have a feeling, that these days, where momma has her college degree and plenty of work experience, that the tables are indeed turned as opposed to previous generations.

      To be fair, what seems to happen is we fail to appreciate each others contributions to having IT ALL. Spouse, Children, House, Hosting Extended Family events or attending them, Pets, Travels, Investments, College funds…yadah yadah yadah. Each Yadah requires thought and time and energy AND CONSISTANCY…
      But at some point this became a burden…rather than LIFE… NO FUN AT ALL, compared to crew drinking and screwing and gambling and and and and…oh why bother.

      Yep, “SHE JUST HATES TO SEE ME HAVE ANY FUN” I actually heard him tell his OW that……..his 26 year old 3rd world counrty co-worker jungle HO. LOVELY…
      Well…we are having FUN NOW


  73. Hi Everyone (especially okdk7 & All Men reading),

    Vented out for now. Wow wee, I’m worn out because I can relate to it all!
    So true, okdk7.

    Some ideas for doing stuff after venting:

    1. Put aside the bitterness & go do something you like to do!
    Ski, spa, run track, swim, travel, tennis, kick boxing, golf…drive that ball!

    AND Get some FUN, I guarantee someone else is having fun on your time & your dime!

    AND go drive that car you like.

    I have always bought MY OWN cars since I was a teen 35 yrs AGO!! Yep, had some nice sporty ones too…..(always been a car person).

    AND, YEP just became a bmw owner for the 3rd time.

    A Hot Red hard top convertible that drives like no other and feels so good! Oh, yeah……puts that SMILE back on my face. Only a car person would know!

    AND, skied too this year after not skiing for 8 yrs. because my husband was not into it and I felt guilty to go on a ski trip & leave him behind! No more!
    Oh yeah forgot, nothing like getting a tan while skiing in California. Felt 17 again!

    These small moments of joy I have are just the beginning of HEALING.

    SO, WHATEVER IT TAKES to make you feel good during these dark, painful rotten times DO IT!

    All for now,


    • Captwife,
      Thank you !
      Yes that is the best advice… LIVE WELL !
      Do it FOR YOU rather than TOO HIM, If that makes sense.
      My list of things that bring me JOY is bigger than my RANT LIST….Praise the Lord .

      Gratitude ROCKS !

    • That is not a nice thought. It doesn’t surprise me though. I also thing a lot of women like the thought of the challenge of an attached man and the ego massage that comes with being the ‘winner’ of a love triangle.

      • I find this comment on the above article interesting.

        “Speaking as a single woman, I find this rather depressing, but true. While I make attached men decidedly off-limits, I know lots of women who view attached men as attractive until they become unattached. Once the men shed their previous relationship, the women don’t want them.”

        What goes around comes around…





  74. Hey…you are back !!!!!

  75. As I write this, NBC is doing a story on “Pilot Fatigue.” Captain X (my Soon to be Ex) said he suffered from it, but anyone would suffer from cockpit fatigue after spending their entire layover with hookers. Mine did, all over South America and Europe. He said he had a headache when he went to bed at home after flying a trip! If I only knew about how prevalent cheating and sex addiction is in the airline pilot world I would have ended our marriage a long time ago. Captain X is a control freak (like most pilots) as well as Sex Addict. When your husband is always in debt, despite making a good pilots salary, has few friends and “trip trades” often, he might have a secret life. It all leads to ABUSE. If you are reading this Pilots Who Cheat blog, take another look at your life. If you don’t, you will end up like me, with a Sex Addict husband who has ruined you financially and left the marriage and family in shambles. I just took an AIDS test at 61. I discovered Captain X had documented 10 years prostitution on his computer as well as sex bulletin boards all over the web. There are web sites he subscribed to providing prostitutes world wide. Check that laptop flight kit – Its all there. Now I am working on the Divorce Settlement and I want flight privileges for LIFE!

    Go to my blog (2 postings up and more to come) called:

    “DIVORCING CAPTAIN X – A woman’s divorce after discovering her Airline Pilot husband’s double life” It can be found at:

    • Oh my God! I am so sorry to hear your story. I really cant even begin to relate to it, but I am sure your site will be of help to the ones who can 😦

  76. I found out 2 months ago my long haul cargo pilot husband cheated on me in the land of ‘not quite right’ and now am struggling to accept and hopefully forgive. He’s remorseful but now I doubt everything he says. Who has been through this and come out stronger in the end? I’d like to hear the stories of wives who have made it through this and now have a stronger marriage.

    I find it interesting I don’t read about the addiction to porn that many of these guys have. It runs rampant in this industry. Porn, something I thought was so harmless has destroyed the life as I know it.

    • I must be honest, I have never once heard of any porn use in the industry… Maybe it’s a bit different here in the UK. I know many people that work in the industry, pilots and cabin crew/FAs and none seem to think it’s a widespread thing…

      That may be because in my partner’s airline he flies to destinations where there isn’t porn in the hotel rooms. I know that on the European Continent, it’s very widely available)…

      I’m sorry for what you have been through 😦

  77. ummmmm just a thought…but really,

    How many OTHER people whould even know about what someone does alone in the privacy of their room with a laptop…

    Personally… I have no problem with whatever visuals someone might get their rocks off with… its the actual hook up sites that seem to cause more problems…especially in this industry…. oh well…. another day another grey !

    Hope they dont have their laptops distracting them in the COCK PIT…ooops too late.

  78. Dear MrsX,

    I feel ur pain, I have the same pain. Yep, the dbl. life sexcapades definitely includes men dressed as women! Traveling to the asian sex trade countries, South American shit hole cities and elsewhere is a man’s perverted deviant sex driven dream!!!! Guaranteed the partners are underage, guaranteed they want his money, guaranteed he’s been sick.

    GUARANTEED the employers will be getting BIG WIND of the rampant ILL behavior of their and will fire them for other reasons!!!

    oooops, their are some of us who don’t want the hubbies fired but that is ineveitable anyways because WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND!!!!


  79. As my brothers and childhood male (military) friends have told me “take no prisoners” and take him down or we will!

    Nice to have that on my side. Every move of my soon to be ex (the ostrich) is being watched.

    Keep getting stronger MrsX.


  80. Oh my,

    Seems me and Captwife and MrsX should get together for a nice long holiday.

    Sit around some tropical paradise and drink BIG drinks with LITTLE umbrellas and scream the F word over and over till the sun comes up.

    Funny thing is this… for around 8 years…since 9/11 we as good wives have been cutting back and setting our long term financial goals lower and lower …so after a AT FAULT DIVORCE… these gold digging whoevers are going to be in for one heck of a surprise…

    CHEERS Ladies….. noone deserves to be married to one of the ASSHEAD PILOTS…

    AND YES, FROM THE MAJORITY !!! They are not ALL ADDHEADS ! But the ones who ARE really make it hard for the
    decent ones…

    Feel free to get my email from partner of a pilot….

    and HUGS

  81. Not sure what relivance this will have to anyone. However, I have recently made contact with a woman who just finished her divorce from a pilot at a major US carrier. Her divorce settlement was “SEALED” by her Xhusbands attorney in order to save his job it seems. She had to agree to it in order to finalise her divorce.
    Seems they (the industry and the BROTHERHOOD) are in cahoots.

    Sickens me to think of how many women who have ben faithful to our husbands and families throughout the 9-11 fallout and remain faithfull only to have the whole lot pull a TIGER

    We did nothing to deserve this.



    Anyone going through a divorce from a pilot with a major US carrier feel free to contact Partner of a Pilot for my email…

  82. Captain X put me through hell (and still is) so I am writing a book about my story. I want to prevent anyone from ever having to go through what I am going through. Eventually I will add some of your stories, so we will all will be heard. Right now I need a copy of the “morals clause” or similar statement/requirements from any of the major US airline pilot contracts or pilots manuals. Can anyone help me with this?

    • Nolongerwife.

      It will be under “code of conduct” in company policy. It probably will not say “morality clause” but ethical behavior or code of conduct. Just google codes of conduct for pilots and see what comes up, otherwise I have a copy for you.

  83. Hello everyone!

    Just thought I would say hello to you all. I guess you can say I have a unique position. I am a female airline pilot who is dating a fellow pilot. I have flown for a regional and am now a freight dog (cargo pilot). When I first started flying, I remeber thinking, no way the steriotypes can be true. Pilots are PROFESSIONALS, boy was I wrong! Infedility is sady very much still an alive and well cluture in the cockpit. Luckily as a fellow aviator, I kind of fell into the “kid sister” category and was saved the blunt of the horn-doggedness, though I was still astounded by how many of my fellow aviators would hit on me, wedding ring in full view. (No worries, I am a pretty good gal and have had a whopping 3 relationships in my life…none with married men!)

    I don’t know what to say to you all, othen then not all pilots cheat, but I have a good idea that the percentage it is much higher than your average joe’s. My guess is the culture and the availibility. You are away from anyone’s prying eyes for long periods of time. You see the full spectrum of people, your average Joe’s in Coach, the Big-Wigs in 1st. You see it all paraded before you as a pilot….simply take your pick, plenty of women still idolize pilots….sadly, even married ones. I hear stories that burn my ears, admissions that I thought would frighten me away from EVER dating a fellow pilot. But I am, and I trust him. He has all the oppertunities to cheat that airline pilot have (as do I) but we trust him. Does that mean he can shatter my heart? Absolutly! I’ll take that chance. Pilots CAN be horndogs, but they are also some of the most fantastic people. They have that spark in their eyes that has long ago died in most people. They’ll never whine about the company watercooler, or the idiot in the adajecent cubicle. They are living their boyhood dreams, and will forever be a 9 year old boy who loves big shiney planes, stuffed into the body of Man. I love that about my boyfriend, and I see that spark in almost every pilot’s eyes. Put me in a room of people, I can find the pilots in the room, just because of the light in their eyes. Love that light! It means a risk that you’ll get one of those horndogs, but I think its a risk worth taking. Pilots are fantastic parners!
    From the Last Frontier,

  84. Does anyone think the company has something to do with the way these pilots are acting out? Are there zero tolerance policies in the industry? In other words, if an employee is married, and they cheat, use company computers to “act-out”, etc. might they be terminated? Look at the “morality clause” with Tiger Woods-many of his contracts might end due to his conduct which reflects poorly on product, sport, etc.. The average pilot is married and divorced 3-4 times and the alcohol abuse is very hight. Only several studies have been conducted since pilot asso. protect their brotherhood. Some airline has a policy that if married, the employee can change spouses flight benefits to add their” domestic partner” (code for girlfriend). We should all be raising hell with the companies who do not support the institution of marriage and family and who facilitate affairs through their policies such as the example above. What is also interesting, is that there is not one person within the industry who will assist the family in crisis. My 5 years of research and personal experience reveal there is not one intervention the industry (company) will do if the pilot is acting out. The chief pilot has actually looked the other way and covers for the employee who is acting out. There are no follow-up psychologicals on pilots once they are hired (unless they carry a gun). Unions do not want to have them evaluated since they need these pilots to be robots and make profits for the company. Cheating and alcohol abuse is a problem that leads to family break-up and the industry is turning a blind-eye on the innocent spouses who have supported their employees by being alone and raising the children alone for many days a month. Behind every pilot is a spouse holding down the fort so passengers can travel and industry makes profits. When there is this acting out behavior, the spouse is left to deal with the crisis alone, divorce may take place and she is left with no spouse, no benefits (flight or health) and a single-parent. What can we do??

  85. Contact me by email. I, too, am researching are situation, investigating class action suits or similar. If I can’t be part (due to my legal) at least I want the word out. Airlines should wake up. If the public finds out their friendly Captain has been whoring & drinking and all night (and carries a gun, in my case!) do you John & Jane Q Public will be comfortable on their flight?

  86. K-
    Is the Code of Conduct in Company Policy or in Union Contract? If you have a copy, please send it to me. Blog site, please connect us. I am still very new to blogs. All my energy has been used to fight for my life in a divorce with a very sick CA.

    Meanwhile, this my first Christmas without my daughter. I am trying my best to think positive about the future. I am better off without the sick CA. Read my Christmas Blog.

    Love to everyone to everyone this Christmas.

  87. Sorry about typos. broken hand

  88. Nolongerwife:

    Here’s an example of one airline code of ethics.


    Just and FYI: Once your in the family courts, could be for the rest of your life. Have done research in area of amily law for 5 years, divorce law is the biggest scam in American Hx. Do not consent to a divorce!! Anything but that!!! Get help, separate, but no divorce-state becomes parent to your daughter. Do not hire a family attorney and please know the law is unconstitutional. Be creative and find a way back to each other. “Acting out” is related to other issues not to you and he needs help and the marriage is in crisis-divorce will make things far worse. Let me know if I can assist.


    • Can I ask how you are so sure of this Tonya?


  90. AKgalpilot,

    Pffft… The spark in their eye is their EGO. And all the CONTROL they have, not only in the cockpit, but their schedule, and our families security…ripped from under us.

    Analogy= Turbulence Pocket, Aircraft drops ,

    Passenger in the 6th row scared for their life because they have no control…

    Pilot, “wow that was a good one” Totally in control.

    Now in life married to a pilot.


    Wife= scared for their life and their children’s because they have no control.

    Pilot = Drinking , whoring, gambling, wife has no ability to get access to actual schedule, Changes passwords to cell phone, finances, credit cards. The Brotherhood will protect them. The airline will help them. the union will help them…
    they lie so their family and friends will help them.
    All with the COOL demeanor of the CAPT IN CHARGE

    When you see the TWINKLE in their eye…RUN


  91. For anyone who is wondering what their mates are up to on the web…
    If you come across this site when you search their history beware…

    If you are like me you would have passed right by it in a search. It is a GLOBAL prostitution site.

    A friend of mine submitted her records of her husbands use of this site and had a very nice settlement over it (even though her attorney told her the adultry and whores wouldnt matter) Seems he didnt want his airline to get wind of it.

    INFORMATION IS POWER and when there is a sever power imbalance…DONT LET IT DRIVE YOU NUTS, as that is their intention.


  92. severe…. ooops

  93. I need an the Airline Code of Conduct for the airline that starts with the letter A. For those of you who are curious on why I do not spell it out, there is a gag order in the decree. That will not stop me from telling the world in a book. The names will be changed. Captain X decieved me for 22 years. I think the world should know. If you are married or dating a pilot and you can’t get a straight answer from about money or his schedule, RUN from the controlling, cheating piece of crap.

  94. Watch out for customers service woman from American in Burbank Tina Nillson. she does not care if the pilot is married or not. She just wants one. She is dating one now from United (don;t know if he is married) I know mine was when she slept with him.

  95. Hey Debbie,

    Sorry to hear you have that all figured out.

    How is it going otherwise ?


  96. If you are thinking or DIVORCING an AIRLINE PILOT due to SEX ADDICTION go to this blog. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! THERE ARE MANY OF US. Read and subscribe to:

    AGAIN, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  97. What can a person do if she is being harrased by a pilot? He won’t stop e-mailing texting or calling–she had to change her phone # and blocked him on hotmail but it seems aol can not block people from e-mail, just send them to spam. This guy is a cheater, lier and she wants nothing to do with him once she found out he cheated oh his wife and had a girlfriend whom he also cheated on with her. Have proff of e-mails and voice recordings as well as texts. I wish I knew his girlfriend’s phone#

  98. I believe even an idiot could see from this blog, that the years of strife and heartbreak told here are the result of being married to Pilots/FO’s and FA’s of Major Airlines. When is Airline Mgmt going to move to require a code of conduct from their employees?
    Tiger Woods helped bring the Sex Addiction Illness into the limelight. Airline employees with this addiction are in the most trouble…My wife of 20 yrs…has cheated in the past…she will again…and there’s NOTHING I can do about it – except move on.
    I suggest anyone out there that has a loved one employed by the Airlines that spends “overnighters” in other cities or “crashpads” during training/off duty…To think about their habits, especially past-practice.
    I DO NOT PROPOSE A FIX…Divorce or separation is the only remedy.

  99. I’ve read through the replies, one after another…tears streaming down my cheeks as I think about m WIFE FA cheating yet again with a Delta (ASA) pilot. I don’t really blame him he’s in his prime and looking for “availability”…You seem my wife’s a Sexual Addict…ANY man that’s decent looking and pays 5¢ worth of attention to her and he’s in. You see, it’s NOT JUST MEN with this issue! When I consider that men are pigs. Generally speaking, the most loyal spouse would jump on a pile of rocks if they knew there was a snake in there…women have different options. Essentially, they can get laid anytime-anywhere-by anyone they want! Fat, thin, sick or old WOMEN CAN GET IT WITHOUT CHARM -INTELLIGENCE – LOOKS. This ASA pilot is married – with a 2 yr. old baby and I want HIS WIFE to know what he’s doing. Does anyone know how I can locate a Pilot’s wife if I have a city she resides in?

    • So sorry to hear you had to go through that. Almost every one have my space and face book and you do not even have to be their friend to send them a message. Also if the profile is not private you can see their friends and see if he is one of them which I’m sure that would be the case. You can also google the name, yellow pages online,. Here is something that might help–good luck

    • Wouldnt it be better to let HIM know you know. I mean, couples go through stuff and im not sure it is up to you to tell the wife.

      Just my opinion. After having gone through this over and over… im just not sure i really wanted to know, especially with a young child. It all sucks… but letting him know you know may curb his behaviour…or maybe its another case of WHEN PIGS FLY…

      Good luck either way

  100. Hello Frank,
    Sorry to meet you here.
    Just thinking about the “Code of Conduct” idea. Thinking…
    pilots dont even get the proper medical care they need in fear of loosing their certificates… many of us know our spouses are not well… mentally or physically. And what are our options… ? Their conduct would be over looked in the same manner if it meant getting fired. WORTHLESS can mean 2 differnt things if you get my drift.

    Anyway… Assuming your name is not a real name i find it interesting that you chose such an aritists name.

  101. STATUS update. 100 days into our divorce. MY husband is a pilot making over 170K a year. He has been repeatedly unfaithful, he has an alcohol problem and is also addicted to gambling.

    He has stopped depostiting his check into our houshold account. I have two young children and live in a cold climate.
    We have had snow for the past two days. Its 40 degrees in our home. He has not paid the oil bill its nearly 3K and they have stopped delivering. This is the 3rd oil company we have been through. I scrounged up $50 bucks and bought 1/4 cord of wood so we had one area of the house warm. No hot water for children to bath prior to going to school.
    Before he left we had 8 months of bills saved along with several thousand dollars in various other accounts. It is all gone.

    He has used sick time and vacation time to take part in his extracuricular activites and now doesnt understand why his custody of our children will be according to a schedule.

    According to what he has told me, which he heard from a higher up at the airline , 12 pilots have commited suicide last year.

    Isnt it time someone somewhere found some way to get these pilots some help. He had complained of fatigue and depression symtoms for two years before going off course.
    This is such a radical departure from anything i ever have seen him do in 20 years.

    The system of ensuring that pilots are SAFE does not work.
    It simpley does not.

    If you dont have complete access to your spouses schedule and finances … they are not being faithful. PERIOD.
    Apply for a refinance… and get their entire financial report. That will show you most of what you need to know.
    Look at their Passports. This will have any non-work travel, they dont use their passport for work.

    Sorry to say this is so rampant, the CREW DRINKING and philandering… but it is getting worse i think. Having 2 decades of airline experience I have seen the story from all sides.

    Good Luck…take care of YOU. Get counsiling..FAST.

  102. Whats the answer…You know, men are “fixers” we want to fix the problem! I can tell you first-hand what goes on with the crews…I’ll not lay blame on the pilots completely for the philandering and drinking but they ARE supposedly an example to the crew.
    Crews/Pilot’s and FO’s often-if not always-eat and DRINK together during their layovers…Layovers , that extend sometimes to 36hrs. My wife is no drinker, she’s a philanderer – but can’t handle booze! She used to call me from a restaurant/bar and say, “the pilot and FO are on their 4th PITCHER of beer and aren’t planning on leaving anytime soon!” I believe the practice of layovers, is the Airlines responsibility. Downtime – that’s when the “monkey business” happens! This drinking thing, is especially chronic with connecters like, ComAir, ASA and Republic. Seems these guys really like their booze…I KNOW FOR A FACT, MY WIFE’S PILOT WAS LEGALLY DRUNK SEVERAL TIMES AT FLIGHT TIME.
    So, it seems to me to WE NEED TO DIRECT IT TO Airline Mgmt. …minimize layovers either through scheduling or ???? THEN, install “breathalyzers” and interlock device that prevents the aircraft from clearing – just like they do to DUI offenders and cars…in the cockpit for BOTH Pilot and FO’s – BEFORE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS!!!

    • Ahh, but in many cases that I know of… The airline are aware that many of their pilots have a drink problem! Hell I know at least one airline who have put alcoholic pilots through rehab as many as 3 times before they got rid of the guys! To me that is AWFUL.

      I believe whole heartedly that the industry should demonstrate ZERO TOLERANCE to alcoholism and the drinking culture, but they dont… They allow it to persist like leaving rotten fruit in the bowl.

      I am sorely tempted to write a post about the alcoholism in the airline industry. My partner’s layovers run into time significantly longer than 36 hours and the crew are often placed into “All Inclusive” hotels… On these trips, there is definitely a tendency for crews to drink until they either pass out or do something utterly stupid.

      Why on earth they put them into All Inclusive hotels is beyond me.

  103. You know with Toyotas Problem, The Healthcare Bill and other tidbits…I think one of the news agencies would jump on this…my step sister does eve news in VA…maybe a phone call is in order…WOW! what a stink this would make!!!

    • Would be so easy to go undercover. Just wait for some big ball game or better yet ST PATRICK’S DAY….and stand in the airport with the breathalizer all day the following
      Get each and every one of them… then there would be no profiling or any other excuse… “ya, i was just about to call in sick…” nice move that was.

      I hear you…

  104. Saw a pilot posted in picture on a MSP craigslist site trying for a weekend hookup. Doesn’t indicate he’s married, but… just a weekend?


    You’re kidding right?

  106. AKgalPilot and okdk7,
    hi….i have that twinkle in my “eye” because i’ll be finished with my CPL soon…and i just want to fly for remuneration! CONTROL for me is, having a smooth flight.EGO for me,is a pain-body term gleaned from”ECKHART TOLLE’S” best selling book”THE POWER OF NOW”.
    I appreciate everyone’s insight on this Blog,and I hope I will never cheat on my future wife and children.The aftermath of cheating on your family is too destructive.As for viewing porn and j@$king off in hotel rooms on layovers(bcoz i am studying for my CPL in a foreign country),personally,I refrain from those habits for quite a long time now….I just watch tv or go drink alcohol,down at the bar,moderately……Finally,having a strong spiritual rapport with the BIG GUY upstairs,be it,….God,Jesus,Buddha,etc…..before bedtime… Works for me…..good luck to all the jilted pilot wives on here….I hope you will heal soon……regards…..Edward.

  107. OH Edward…

    I could be very wrong..but what stuck out of your post for me…

    “I hope I will never cheat on my future wife and children”
    What ? Is this a random thing you have no control over ?

    “I just watch tv or go drink alcohol”

    You DO see what im saying … Just an observation…not judging…

    Good Luck

    • OKDK7,
      I see your point.I do have control of my own actions and am mindful of the temptations out there.Like your husband,I consider myself to be quite reserved and quiet with no big ego.Kind of geekish,
      To keep busy,I watch tv,play sports,drink alcohol in moderation,and spend time with family.Besides,our school’s curriculum for CPL+ratings and frozen atpl is very compressed,its a wonder to have any time for the aforementioned activities!
      I appreciate your opinion and observation,okdk7,….it is akin to what my flight instructor instills into me with every lesson.Be a great flyer yet Humble.

  108. Please do not post my name or email.
    Here is straight talk from a woman pilot who sits next to these men and either hears their lines or alternately hears them pour their hearts out to her.
    Being a pilot is full of sexual opportunity. Both male or female are bombarded with people who feel that we are unique and interesting. The opportunity for sex with a large number of people is always on offer whether you are married or not. If a pilot wants that it is there. I fly with a number of pilots that have an extra family in south and central america. I fly with pilots that have a prostitute waiting everywhere.Some have a girlfriend in each city. Some just fly to one city and see the same woman on the side all of the time. I have also flown with nice upstanding family men who wouldn’t dream of cheating on their wives.
    I have to counter all of this that at least half of the men and women I fly with have had their spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend who is a non pilot cheat on them when they are gone flying. This really taints your perception of relationships after it happens more than once and the pilot in question loses their interest in committing quite often. I must admit that some of the guys are just scum too. I have also met men that are scum in just about every profession and job out there.
    No the airlines are never going to punish people for infidelity. It just isn’t going to happen.They care about our behaviour with our coworkers but they expect us to behave badly on our off time and layovers.We aren’t monks and nuns or pastors we are pilots. No the FAA doesn’t care about most of what I have read that is thought to be reportable. The FAA is only interested in Misdemeamors, felonies, drug abuse and alcohol. Most prescription drugs may be taken but a pilot if they waited 48 hours before flying and alcohol is 8 hours so you are not going to catch most with that and then they would actually have to be tested. Also it is legal to fly with HIV as long as the illness is reported. If the man doesn’t know he has it then he doesn’t have to do anything. The FAA only cares about known medical conditions.You can even get a sex change operation and the FAA doesn’t care.
    I want you to know that I get hit on nonstop. I am no beauty. I am 46 so I am not a young person but literally everywhere I go men come out of the woodwork and try to get me into the sack everyday in every city. Some have been trying for years. Some of them are pilots but most of them are not. A lot of those men are married or have girlfriends. If I were the type who does that kind of thing I could easily have a different man in every city I go to and get laid every night.
    I would never cheat on a spouse or boyfriend. I would also never agree to date a married man or man who has a girlfriend. I know male pilots who have equal intergrity.
    I should also point out that to be a pilot means you are fairly high achieving and with high achieving personalities comes a high sex drive so if you want one of us and want to keep one you should be a person who likes sex or you will have issues.
    My advice: get to know the man before you jump into bed with him. You might buy an internet background check. If you meet on a layover ask the other pilots and flight attendants. The Flight Attendants usually have a good idea who is a dog and who is not.
    I am sorry that all of you have been hurt. It is miserable to be cheated on. In my opinion pilots as a group don’t cheat much more than most men. Maybe a little more but there is purely a lot more opportunity if they do. There is also a lot more opportunity for the spouse or bf or gf of a pilot to cheat. Some do some don’t. It’s just the same old dating minefield as anywhere else. Take care of yourselves and guard your heart and your health. It’s just too bad we don’t have some kind of condoms that protect our emotions when things go wrong.
    Just think of me as a woman pilot who was cheated on by teo different men at different times and the men were NOT pilots.
    It hurts just as much to be lied to and cheated on by a man who isn’t a pilot as it does with one who is a pilot.
    Take care all of you and I hope you all find a nice man who cares about you

    • Hi L,
      Very well said…..especially,…”i have also flown with nice upstanding family men who wouldn’t dream of cheating on their wives” “I know male pilots who have equal integrity”……since i am a CPL student in a foreign country,your above post contains words of wisdom or message which i really appreciate.thank you.

  109. Just to be clear… I think you have the wrong husband…



    • hi OKDK7,
      Sorry,i meant to say Partner of a Pilot’s husband who was quiet and reserved.My apologies for the mix up.This is a long thread. Edward

  110. Would be nice if there was no need for the thread to begin with.
    If you are cheating, thinking about cheating, of have already been caught cheating on your spouse….

    Please take a half hour and see this video. It tells you just what infidelity feels like… or at least how it felt to me.

    The video is about a full page scrolled down…


  111. Thank you L,


    Says it all for me.


  112. L,

    Yes, Lets hear it for EMOTIONAL CONDOMS… probably would only be about 98% effective at best…

    ; }

  113. I thought that this was all part of the proffesion. Its one of the reasons why im training to become a pilot, currently undergoing my IR. I’ve even even got myself a shag buddy at my flight school!

    • Why do I think you’re just a blog troll ‘Frank’? Hmmmm, I wonder!

    • The main reason for some wanna be commercial pilots such as me is flying just for the sake of the joy of flying and secondarily,getting paid for doing what you’ve dreamed about doing for so long.
      Frank,guess,it’s different strokes for different folks,eh? I didn’t know that (many) pilots were such playboys until I stumbled unto this site….

  114. Frank… for many it is … go for it.
    There are plenty of sites that have lots of
    fun places for you.

    Here, you wont find too many wives and girlfriends
    of pilots who are in the mood to celebrate that
    end of the industry.
    Wives, children, family , honesty and integrity
    dont really mix well with it.

    Have fun with that.


  115. Anyone interested in a perfect description of how it feels to be on the other end of infidelity ?

    Go down to the 3rd CENTER paragraph… watch the video.

    Sums it up for me.

    Have fun with that.


  116. Welcome everyone….
    Just wanted to post a new post so anyone visiting knows that we are all still here.

    How is everyone making out ?


  117. There’s another one named Dan aka Daniel aka Pete working for Continental/EX in Newark NJ although he’s originally from Georgia. He lies, he cheats, and he’s not that good at it. He’s a captain right now, but moreover he’s a threat to all of the women out there. Keep your respect, dignity, and health intact by not dating or even entertaining this lying loser! His profession is the only thing good about him.

  118. Hello there.
    Just to let you know that we are still here.
    If you are being cheated on by a pilot and are looking for support read this thread in it’s entirety.

    BTDT… sadly.

    WE are keeping an eye on this for any newcomers to our sad group and look forward to hearing from you.


  119. i just found out on the eve of my bday that the pilot i was seeing for six mos has a steady gf in the city where he lives! so much for him telling me he is an honest and will never cheat! her gf saw the email i sent him which he unmindedly forgot to close. She contacted me on facebook, and boom, my birthday was ruined. When confronted through texting, he left her that very day, still in touch with me, and now the girl is telling me he is trying to win her back bec he loves her and not me! He goes to mexico A LOT, and omg, he never wants to use condoms….i am off to get myself tested ! i wonder how many girls he goes to bed with…so disgusted though i am falling for him!

  120. My husband flies for an international cargo airline. I think he is cheating but I have no way of finding out since he is very careful with email and cell phone which are really the only ways I can track him. I believe she is a brazilian girl but I am not sure. He recently has become a fitness fanatic and was talking about getting plastic surgery down there because he “knows people.” Have any of you encountered this? I would like to find out if my suspicions are true because I will leave immediately. He did this early on in his career when he was with a passenger airline. With a FA of course. Any help or ideas would be appreciated. I just don’t know how to track him in a foreign country and I do not trust him at all.

  121. Gem8 and Ellen….

    Contact the moderator and have her give you my email address.


  122. Gem8,

    Is it worth it ? You can see he is playing both of you.
    Say you “WIN” him… what are you winning ? and for how long ?
    Do you think a life of EARNED DISTRUST is worth it ? It will eat you alive no matter how SELFCONFIDENT you may be now.

    And YES… once you decide to stop “seeing” him. Get tested now and at 6 months and at 1 year. HIV is forever and so are many HPV’s.

    See above post as well.

    I know it is terrible… BTDT

  123. Ellen,

    Im sorry to hear of your concerns about your husbands faithfulness…or lack there of.

    Mid Life Crisis , Depression, Gulf War Syndrom… whatever.
    When they leave the marriage its a trip you will not soon forget.

    There are PI’s in every city. I may be able to help you.


  124. OKDK7 – I can’t find a way to contact the moderator. I would love to speak with you further. Perhaps the moderator will read this post and assist me with your email address.



    • She will see it eventually.

      Sorry for the delay.

      It will be a more secure connection to me if she sends it.

      Ya just never can tell these days… regarding bogus online discussions etc.

      Im still here.


  125. Lets not forget the husbands that have their wifes cheat on them with a pilot , mind did and ive got the pics of him nude ,hard and masterbating , what a fool , anybody want to see, yes they have his face , but we filed a sex suit with the airlines ,, she was wrong but he will lose his job … yea

  126. “Filed a sex suit with the airlines”

    Why ?

    Does she work for the airlines too ?


  127. hi okdk7,

    Thank you for your comment. When I found out, I left, and never looked back. Even if he went back to me and begged for a chance (which he did), I could never truly win anyway knowing what kind of person he is.

    The other woman befriended me for some time. I was cautious, and yes she was fishing out info from me. She then told me to leave them alone and back off, as they are back again .

    I left, and i am slowly but surely moving on.

  128. okdk7

    Forgot to add that I could really kick myself right now for not using protection. I do all those tests, I know better, yet I did not use precaution :(. I am lucky to have turned out negative so far, but will do another set again.

  129. Gem8 and Tom,

    Sorry to hear both of your stories.

    IT sucks.

    IT does get better.


    • Stay away from a f/0 with the initials JMC….he is bad news….he has woman all over the place and will lie about it until he is blue in the face…very charming..will make you feel sorry for him…

  130. I decided I would google “GF’s or Wives of Pilots” because recently I met a pilot that seems to be very interested in me and I really like talking to him. I am already wary of dating as is but after reading through this site I don’t think it would be a risk I could take. Though there are a few posts in which people say “not all pilots cheat” it appears that more women have had experiences of pilots cheating on them. Anyways, now I feel more informed. Thanks for sharing ladies.

    • Hi Suri,

      I would say that what you need to remember is that you are taking just ONE post out of context from the whole Internet. I know plenty of pilot wives and girlfriends who are in very happy, trusting relationships… I honestly still believe, even after reading all of these comments!

      It’s good to have your eyes open… But to be honest, it’s a man’s general character. If he seems like a decent guy, he probably is. I’m sure if you set up a thread about Police men who cheat, Doctors who Cheat, Sales men who cheat, etc, it would be just as full of comments.

      That’s the nature of the Internet. People seek out a place to share their pain, and this post is very Google-able for some reason.

      If you read most of my other posts you will not find them to be in this same tone, or else I would have to be a masochist! If you want a more balanced view, I recommend looking at the proper groups like the ones I link to in my side bar on the main page here: Partner of a Pilot

  131. cheating is so common in airline world why even call it cheating?I never met a straight male F/A or pilot who ever got tired of bragging about all the flight attendants they screwed and how easy it was.Layover + booze +lonely +desperate for attention = easy sex.Why pretend otherwise,I worked in hotel where flight crews stayed best times of my life. Never trust a flight attendant to stay faithful thy very rarely get caught, and if they do they fly away again and don’t care about the family they hurt.Have fun and move on to the next one, Ask flight attendants about this and you will hear the truth,why even pretend otherwise cheating is so common.

    • Beentheirtwice,

      Been where ? lol

      And are you a male or female ?

      What city was the hotel in ?
      They all sound the same… is it the Sherry Frontenac by any chance ?

      Inquiring minds would like to know…

  132. Hahahahaha!!! And I thought I was the only one! I just talked to my husband last night who said he was getting ready to walk into a hotel in Van Nuys, CA. He said he was getting in the elevator. So I hung up, called the hotel in question and to my surprise he was not checked in at all. So after calling him for an hour he finally answered the phone and tried to tell me he was going to sleep in his rental car, hahahahaha!!! Yes, I really believe that one. Then I look on his Facebook and see yet another post from his old Flight Attendant (PILOT CHASER) that says Happy Birthday, I love you with a little heart next to it. ARE YOU KIDDING!!!! The good news is I already filed for DIVORCE!!!! I am just so tired of all the lies!!!!

  133. Happy 2011 ! I found out my BA SFO pilot husband had been
    cheating on 30th December and he has left our home today, not to be
    with this FA (I dont even know if she is but he says so) He says he
    doesnt want to be with her. This is the second time and I cannot
    bear it, he has given me her name age and location but refuses any
    other details, She wont answer my texts & I would like to
    speak with her in an adult conversation but she hasnt the decency
    to reply. At least reading these posts makes me feel that i am not
    alone, why did I ever get involved with this seemingly decent
    honest guy? We have been together 22 years and have a 15 year old
    son. How could he do this to me again after all his promises last
    time (2003) It makes me feel so weak and worthless.

    • Hello Ruby,
      Sorry to hear about your situation.
      Do you have anyone you can talk to about all of it ?
      No, no you are not alone at all, sadly.
      I can hardly remember the initial pain of it all its been so long since the nightmare began.
      Keep your cool. As hard as it is to NOT REACT, you just sort of have to for now.
      Are you in counseling at all ?

      • Thanks OKDK7
        It’s early days and thank goodness for the love of friends and family I am coping. I have a part time job which keeps me occupied and it’s good to have the time away from wanting to climb the walls! He is back for a few days but I doubt I will ever have any trust or respect for him again. Thanks for replying xx

        • Its been a year, I’m still hurting terribly, trying to keep it together for my son, but hey I have realised shes not worth draining myself, she has no morals and is probably dating someone elses husband right now. All I got from her was a few whinging comments about having a ‘shit life’ yeah right – so ruin mine honey and that will make it better……Oh and a four line text after I tried to be reasonable, at least his last liason had the decency to talk to me… She is arrogant and completely self obsessed. Her initials are VD, BA longhaul,birthday June 10th, lives in Wilmslow, UK, ex husband SD and he is also an airline captain,who she said was a dirt bag!! I doubt that – he’s had the sense to move on… her sister also flies for TC. Im sure her friends and family think shes such a kind and caring person, as my friends and family did about my husband. How wrong we can be. Life goes on, shit happens and we have to pick up the pieces and carry on. Love to all you fellow wives in this crappy position, we gave everything and found out too late.

    • They do it because the flight attendants are desperate and
      easy, especially the ones that are over 40 and “stayed too late at
      the dance”. my husband had nothing to offer and the fa wanted him
      even more. Didn’t care about my kids just about herself.

  134. Jet BLue Pilot just snagged trying to smuggle $800,000 into the Dominican Republic…
    Never made the USA news.
    If you are tracking the movements of a “loved one” it is always a pleasure to get to know the locals.
    Just Google the city and news. Most are also in English.
    Just saying…

  135. Check out my blog about pilots and
    fa’s who cheat

  136. OKDK7 is blogging on this site all you do, get a life and move on this same crap will ruin your health. JFK girl every F/A complains and say’s the same thing happened to them duh, your the problem not sleeping with married men is the solution. The name and shame start’s with you stop talking to the wife’s of these men.

    • I agree and today my 4.5 year nightmare has ended.
      Nowhere but UP UP AND AWAY from here.
      Good luck gals.
      Drop me an email via admin.

    • Been there twice !
      Glad to see you again.
      Actually , at this very point, you are correct.
      I no longer search for the answers
      Got um ALL.
      Hugs and “over and out” as they say.

  137. OKDK7 I’m sorry that I was so direct, please don’t do anything based on something I said. Take all the time you feel you need,talk to friends, family, anyone but me. Hope all works out and I feel I was wrong to be so blunt. Please forgive me, my remark was based on my reading the whole blog and a few others and responded to that not based on just your comments, so sorry for the way I spoke. Stay on blog and take your time might be best,such a quick change after my comment,life is about the journey not the destination, maybe smaller steps and keep going the healthy way you are. Peace Good health and Happiness to You. Respond back I would like to hear how you are doing.

    • Beentheretwice,

      I have assisted several people over the years who are in the same boat.

      I assure you that nothing you say or said will impact anything i do or dont do, ever… really really.

      I check this blog a couple times a month.
      Just to see if I can assist anyone else, ZERO interest for my personal use, really really…


  138. […] Pilot’s who Cheat, and are then stupid enough to BRAG about it! […]

  139. Hi OKDK7 I would like to chat with you about something can you get my e-mail from the admin/moderator? Please is very important.

  140. Hello OKDK7–My husband is a pilot for an international cargo airline and has been for the last nine years. Over the years he’s told me stories that horrify me about the guys he’s flied with, married men with families, men in relationships, “nice guys” and complete dogs, and my conclusion has been that the majority of the men cheat–with “girlfriends,” prostitutes, or one night stands, when they have wives at home pregnant, with babies, even with wives sick with cancer. It’s revolting. I have noticed that in the rare instance he likes the person he’s flying with, he is reticent to say whether the guy is a cheater. He has lied to me before and said certain people don’t cheat, and then later told me in fact they did. Amid all this he claims he is not the kind of guy who would do this kind of thing and cites his willingness to tell me about his co-worker’s habits as proof of this. Lately I have been starting to have my suscpicions. He suddenly became avid about working out a few months ago and has been gifting me with uncharacteristically large purchases. All of this wonderful, but he also has long layovers all over S America and Europe and sometimes cannot be reached because of “faulty internet connections” which seem to vary wildly from trip to trip, almost always this will happen at night. And he likes to drink. Unfortunately he is expert at concealing his cellphone and internet activity so I can’t look there, and I am worried that there is no way for me to ever find out if my suspicions are true. I’m a wreck tnking about this and want to know if there is any way for me to find out when he’s out of the country what he’s up to. I know none of the pilots he works with or their wives and would never try to look there. Please don’t post my email address on this blog, but please tell me how I can reach you or someone you know who might help.

  141. I need to contact the moderator, can anyone help me on that? Im not sure how to do it, thanks

  142. F/O initial YL-Delta and he’s European living in Texas also likes dating many women in different cities. Controlling and manipulative.

  143. Yes they do..Some even lead double lives. I know..I just came out of a 2yr relationship with a senior xjt pilot. He lied from the start no marriage no kids..boom 2yrs later I found out the truth. He even asked me to marry him..What a loser. But I was the lucky one. Seen=ms his wife of 10 yrs has put up with it for all these years. So yes they do bragg! I have emails to prove it!!!

  144. Does anyone else think this looks like a booty call ‘hook up’ site?

    Maybe just one to keep an eye on!

  145. I’m Also A Wife Of An Airline Pilot Who I’ve Know For He’s Made His Mistake’s More Than Two Too Many Time’s And I Have Leukemia And Also Got STD I’m In A Very Ill And Fragile State Right Now And Word’s On Advice What One Could Do Just So I Can Get My Airline Pilot Husband To Get To Home Back Home With His Wife Any Word’s On Faithful Or Even Helpful Advice Is Good!

  146. Wow i sure Hope the pilot Is Not my husband tho his name is not frank he is from VZ and stationed in Mia! I also know he cheated on me and I am devastated but when I asked why all he could say is because it was easy for him cause of the work it wasn’t a FA but maybe I just have no proof of the others he just got careless and that’s how I caught him. He wants to stay w me surprisingly but I don’t know if I shoul I can’t trust him.

  147. Kim Faires a flight attendant has been sleeping with my husband with my airline pilot husband for 6 years. What a waste of my life….I had no clue…I feel stupid so stupid… I have been married to this d-bag for 19 years. Our kids wont speak to him since H-bag called my daughter’s cell phone and made fun of her….I had to apologize for being such a bad really bad judge of character for so long to my beautiful daughter. I guess Kim H-bag has slept around alot,alot plus more with pilots. How do people act this way?? Are they just born with absolutely no morals or character. I mean she is incredibly old and worn out looking. A perfect family does not exist at least not when you are married to a dirt bag

  148. I have heard horror stories from my husband who is a pilot for UPS. I am afraid that it is common and accepted while out and away from the wife. It is sad. I don’t see any remorse or shame from these men, but rather a pride (as if they did something special to make a tramp open up to their money or their white-man status). They seem actually quite proud of being “macho” and, in their eyes, studly. It’s a shame when a man doesn’t realize the truth behind a real person. It takes something special for a person to know how to hold on to a good woman. A body part doesn’t make you a man. A head and heart that is under control is the true meaning of a strong man in control of his life. Sad really that so many men are fools. For all I know, my husband is one as well. If I ever know or believe with conviction (usually a woman’s feeling is spot on), then I am out. It’s no way to live a full and happy life with a partner that can’t find his true urge and happiness with his chosen partner. What a bummer these men make for true and faithful women. Move on and dump the losers. There are good men out there. Just hard to find. Not impossible though.

  149. I have been with my AA pilot for 10 years. He has cheated on me twice while traveling internationally. Both times he has basically hung himself in lies. Total ignorance. Ladies, I am telling you DO NOT TRUST THEM-if you do you will eventually realize how ego driven and self centered they can be.

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