Partner of a Pilot
The Candid Diary of an Airline Pilot’s Girlfriend

Reality TV has hit a new low with ‘CelebAir’

Maybe I am getting old. I used to just eat up reality shows like Big Brother… This year was the first year that I didn’t bother at all… Oh and here’s another reality show I won’t be watching either… ‘CelebAir

This is from a new reality show called CelebAir, a reality show where so called ‘celebrities’ work as the hosties (FA’s). I would quite like to watch something like this, if it weren’t for the cheesy stereotypes and NAFF uniforms. And PLEASE!!!! I thought they were meant to be CELEBRITIES!? I doubt that many of these even rank as Z-listers!

Here’s the official blerb:

A real plane, flying to real places, staffed by real celebrities? Hell yeah! CelebAir has landed people, and you can finally feast your eyes on our star crew and their jaunty wee uniforms.

In this new eight-part series, 11celebrities will take on a range of jobs on the ground and in the air to battle it out ultimately to become CelebAir’s star employee and win thousands of pounds for the charity of their choice.

Overseeing the action and presenting the show will be Angellica Bell, who is familiar to a whole generation of people from her time as presenter at CBBC, and who is no stranger to flying, having previously worked on the travel series Departure Lounge.

Functioning as a regular airline, members of the public can book to fly with CelebAir to a host of glamorous locations as the celebrity crew take on roles from check-in clerks to air stewards – and they could be anyone from a famous sportsman to a pop star.

Cruising at 35,000-feet, viewers will see all the tensions and frustrations as the celebrity crew dish out the pretzels and pour out the bubbly.

CelebAir will push our celebrities to their limits, and at every stage of the journey the famous faces will be judged and rated by their own passengers, and each week the worst performing celebrity gets given the boot.

However, before any of the famous faces are allowed to start their new jobs, they will have to undertake a rigorous six-week training programme run by Monarch, the airline involved in the show, and they will be required to adhere to Monarch’s tough standards whilst working for CelebAir.

Come back soon to watch exclusive footage of the celebs in action…

God help us; and God help the poor bruised ego’s of any alpha pilots who thought they’re the most important people on board! Haha! Actually if you could vote for which pilots to send in-it might have been worth watching!

Oh, and if you are a real glutton for punishment, you could even book yourself a ticket to travel on CelebAir

It doesn’t look like the critics were too keen either! This was their aptly named review given by Nicole Mowbray of the Independant: I’m on CelebAir… Get me out of here!

Take 200 passengers, a bank holiday weekend, a Spanish airport not overly generous with its provision of air conditioning and a delay nearing seven hours and what do you have?

Many would think just cause for putting the riot police on standby.

Not so Monarch Airlines, seemingly, who felt the small hours of Bank Holiday Monday to be the perfect time to inflict their latest wheeze upon weary and dejected passengers (including me): “celebrity” cabin crew.

Yes, you read correctly. “Famous” air stewards and stewardesses.

We’re not talking Robert De Niro or Cameron Diaz here but former pop stars – Lisa Scott Lee from Steps, The X Factor’s Chico and someone called Johnny from Hear’Say – trained to secure the doors, demonstrate the lifejackets, and showcase the delights of the hot trolley. For eight weeks, the celebrities will battle it out to become the star employee, the winner gaining a sum of money to donate to charity.

Perhaps it’s Monarch’s way of adding what they see as a touch of glitz to the now completely unglamorous grind of flying. Perhaps it’s ITV2’s last-ditch attempt at creating a must-watch reality TV format. Whatever CelebAir is, it’s certainly not about creating a better standard of service for the passenger.

At first, I thought my eyes deceived me. After being trapped in Alicante airport for eight hours, eyes tend to do that, simply to preserve one’s sanity.

But when the 18.50 ZB264 for Gatwick was ready for boarding – at 00.30 – the sight of a small man clad in trousers not dissimilar to those worn by a bad strippergram (ill-fitting with wide fluorescent stripes) sent my best friend Jane into spasms of hilarity.

“No kidding,” she exclaimed, “I think our flight is part of that new reality TV show, CelebAir.” That came as some surprise to us and doubtlessly all the other unwitting passengers. The small man, it turned out, was a “celebrity” called Kenzie. If he’s not on your radar – and he wasn’t on mine – he dated “glamour” model Jodie Marsh, was in a boy band called Blazin’ Squad and was on Celebrity Big Brother. So, just the kind of guy you want in charge of your in-flight experience.

He was joined by “R&B star Lisa Maffia” (nope, me neither), also kitted out in a part-luminous uniform. Perhaps they have to wear it so people realise they are famous.

As few of the passengers had been told the reason for our delay, I hoped Kenzie could help. “I haven’t got a clue,” he replied. “You’ve been in there waiting for eight hours? Sorry, nope. I’ve got no idea … not a clue.” Which was just as helpful as I’d expected.

Before long, the captain took to the loudspeaker to introduce our “celebrity” crew. And nothing happened. No gasps, or mad fans fainting. The looks of utter incomprehension on the passengers’ faces can’t have done much for Kenzie and Lisa’s egos.

No matter, by this time, Lisa was performing the safety demonstration – “I always get this bit wrong,” she giggled, worryingly, while explaining how to do up the lifejacket – and we were off. Lisa served us complimentary drinks from the trolley by way of apologising for the delay, Kenzie collected the empties, looking forlorn. They were just like real cabin crew, only much, much less competent.

And for the rest of the flight, the pair stood around “being celebrities” by the kitchen, only talking to the crew.

I hear that the next CelebAir flight out was later yesterday morning, when Lisa from Steps and the bloke from Hear’Say take to the skies. For anyone reading this who was on board, I feel your pain


3 Responses to “Reality TV has hit a new low with ‘CelebAir’”

  1. I’m with you… that looks really stupid. Wonder when the American version is going to hit TV… ’cause you know it will…

  2. Yeah, and I bet it’s even tackier!!!

  3. I haven’t seen any previews for this in the US. You know I am a reality show freak, but this crosses the limits of my sanity. This is the one Cpt J would probably want to watch!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: