Partner of a Pilot
The Candid Diary of an Airline Pilot’s Girlfriend

Car crash didn’t injure him-but I might!

I just hung up on my pilot… Note, I use the word pilot, not Bf.

Seriously I find the pilot in him SO frustrating to tolerate at times. I just had a car accident on my way home from dropping him off at the airport. Nothing serious, just a minor dent to the front bumper. Basically I got distracted at a roundabout by Baby.

To give you the background, we bought the most expensive baby car seat that money could buy-a ‘super-duper’ top of the range thing. But there is an issue with it-Baby can get her arms free from the straps in the 5 point harness, and sits there with them below her arms instead of over them. It is a design flaw, whereby if she wriggles enough, she can gain enough slack to free her arms. We are persistently telling her off for doing it, when we catch her in time.

ANY WAY… We pulled up at a roundabout, and then the car in front of me pulled away, so I eased off the clutch, and inched forward. At that precise moment; I heard Baby scream, and was distracted momentarily to look back. I saw that her cry was nothing more than frustration because she was having difficulty working loose from the harness; so I scolded her “NO! NAUGHTY!”

I turned my attention immediately back to the road; but unfortunately, the driver of the car in front had decided not to pull out after all, and had put his foot down suddenly on the brake instead. I tried in vain to stop in time-but didn’t (quite) manage it. I saw the whole thing in slow motion! I cringed, as I felt the soft impact. He was driving a Land Rover Defender, so I knew there would be some damage to my car regardless of whether there was any to his.

I could swear that he wasn’t going to bother stopping, but I flicked my hazard lights on and got out to inspect the damage, and then he did too. The guy was lovely, he even apologised for stopping so suddenly, and said a guy had whipped around the roundabout faster than he’s anticipated. He offered me his insurance details in case we needed them, but I said no thank you-it was ultimately my fault, and I knew the damage would only be cosmetic… There was not even a single scratch on his car, but his tow bar had put a nice hole in the bumper of ours 😦

I felt awful, not because I was worried about us, the car, or the guy; but because I was wondering how the hell to tell Bf.  He doesn’t deal well with errors that he’s not responsible for.  I figured I’d just get it over and done with, and tell him over the phone as soon as I got home.

So I’m there explaining what happened, and he says

“Well, why did you look around? …Is the other driver going to claim?”

I answered

“There was no damage to the other car, and I only turned around for a split second because Baby screamed, and it took me by surprise, that I worried something was wrong!”

to which he said

“Yeah, but WHY did you turn to look? Even if there was blood pouring from her head, you couldn’t have done anything about it!? You should have waited until you were clear of the roundabout.”

Okay, now I know that after the event, this might be logical, but I’m sure most mothers would find it hard not to be distracted by the noise of their baby screaming unexpectedly-we’re not ALL robots! I was so annoyed that I said

“GOD! That’s such a pilot thing to say! Just because you’re trained not to be distracted by ANYTHING in a crisis situation, doesn’t mean that we all are! I made a mistake; an error of judgement, I’m only human!”

…and this was the absolute clincher, instead of thinking, yeah, it was just a stupid mistake-easy to make in that situation; he responded with

“Well maybe you shouldn’t be on the road then!”

I hung up. I know that getting distracted was stupid, but I unlike him, I’m just a mere mortal! I got distracted by my baby for a split second. I was doing almost no speed at all. Most people I know have had a stupid prang like that at some stage. I am not an unsafe driver-I don’t speed; I watch the road, try to anticipate hazards and look out for areas where children or animals might run into the road… I was really stung by his words.

I was still shaking, as I’d picked up the phone to make the call to him…  To be honest, I just wanted him to give me a verbal hug, and tell me not to worry, you know; be more concerned with whether or not we were okay, and not give a damn about the car. But he was more bothered about whether the other driver was going to make a claim; and then chastising me for my stupidity instead!

If he had an impeccable record for his driving I wouldn’t be so hacked off; but he’s had 2 accidents in his driving life so far, and both of them were more serious than this; and at least one of them was wreckless (I had been in the car at the time) yet I never chastised him!

I can tell you this much-I won’t be waiting up for him tonight!

UPDATE: Okay, maybe I will cut him some slack. I just got a text saying “Don’t worry about the car, love you xxxxxxx” I guess the right sentiment is better late than never!


3 Responses to “Car crash didn’t injure him-but I might!”

  1. Ah hun glad you are ok. I did a really similar thing a few months ago – although I don’t have the distraction of a baby screaming next to me. I lost concentration and drove into the back of the car in front of me as I thought they pulled away. Very easily done! My OH was luckily really nice about it and just wanted to know I was ok.

    Maybe your bf was upset because his partner and child had been in an accident and he was expressing his fear through anger? I think that is a very typical man emotion thing to do!

  2. I can totally relate. My hubby had the same car for a couple of years and he allowed me to drive it to work one day. Well, that one day, the engine case cracked, and all of a sudden “I broke his car.” It came out later that the whole time he had the car, he NEVER changed the oil in it (for 2 years). But, he maintains, to this day, that I broke his car, just because I was driving it at the time it broke.


  3. I am not even aloud to drive my DH’s “baby.” God forbid anything happen to it, I would be paying for the rest of my life!!!

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