Partner of a Pilot
The Candid Diary of an Airline Pilot’s Girlfriend

It doesn’t matter what job you do.

Today I feel drained.

A friend of mine (who had a baby at the same time as I did, just over a year ago) has had to deal with a lot of lies and bizarre behaviour from her fiance recently; things that you just would not even begin to imagine someone would conceive of lying about!

She was so disturbed by his behaviour that she moved out for a brief period to get some perspective, and allow him to realise the impact and consequences of his behaviour to her and their baby. He finally arranged counselling, and devastated at his loss, he went to extreme efforts to prove his commitment to her; including overblown romantic gestures like covering her car with 72 long stemmed roses before she woke in the morning… It worked, and she returned home to him a few weeks ago to make another go of it.

He even tried to persuade her to start trying for another baby the second she returned home to him. Thankfully she had the sense and insight not to try for a make-up baby.  As it transpires, last night, she discovered that he has been cheating on her since their baby was 6 months old!

He got in contact with an old flame on Facebook, and flirted with her in a sexually explicit way over a period of months, before finally taking things back onto a physical level with her just recently-whilst he was alone at home-supposedly sorting his life out.

He lied about being at work when in fact he was seeing her.  To be honest, he and his cheap, nasty ex are far better suited to one another. It turns out that half way through their online affair, she gave birth to her second baby by her own poor boyfriend… She has a very young baby, but she is busy betraying her family with a scum bag. If she weren’t so cheap and nasty herself-I might feel sorry for her-as having seen the transcripts of their chats; it would seem that he has fed her the same pack of lies about his life that he fed my friend. He also chatted with other women behind both their backs and still denies it in the face of the indisputable evidence her investigator has uncovered.

Why am I blogging about this? Well, he is not a pilot. He does not work for the aviation industry. He is a vehicle technician. Recently, my blog seems to have been attracting a lot of hits from people wanting to read about cheating pilots.  There is a very common misconception that all pilots cheat on their wives whenever they have the opportunity.

The truth is that, some probably do. It is a great industry to work in if you are a cheater, as there will likely be plenty of opportunities for discreet cheating behaviour. However, this story highlights that even if someones partner is home doing a job with regular hours, and they are at home every night; then they will still find a way to cheat if they are that way inclined.

A cheater is a cheater, no matter what job he or she does… Being with a pilot requires a great deal of trust, but people in relationships with those who are less exposed to perceived ‘opportunities’, can end up more blase and complacent; and may even walk around with their eyes closed; my friend wouldn’t believe her ex had cheated on her until she had the absolute proof in her hands.  Even then it took some time to sink in.  

I have spent my day with her, watching her go through every emotion, and not knowing what to say or do to help her feel any better.


5 Responses to “It doesn’t matter what job you do.”


  2. Then, Frank

    You are a bit of a dick head, because your comments will now show up on a Google search of your name and/or airline, and if anyone who know’s your wife see’s this, they are sure to spill the beans.

    I personally hope they do. When I speak about the exceptional few who DO cause the stereotype. It’s arseholes like you that I’m speaking of.

    I hope your dick rots off and you die of aids; but I hope your wife wakes up to your shitty behaviour, and leaves your sorry ass, first. I’m sure a few pilot wives reading this may take it upon themselves to see to that in person!

    Good luck explaining the bragging

    (unless this was actually posted by a woman you cheated with, who found you out for what you are… In that case, I hope you still gets what you deserve!)

  3. […] Firstly, I want to re-iterate that I honestly believe that in General pilots don’t cheat, that it is a small minority who’s behaviour causes this stereotype.  I wrote a post to this effect in July called “It doesn’t matter what job you do“. […]

  4. My husband I am not sure if he cheated physically as I am still struggling with that (he swears he didn’t – and HE IS a pilot). But what he did do was play around on the internet….porn, then setting up profiles looking for sex and dates while on layovers….
    So, I then found this out, and for the last few months I have been depressed and our marriage has been hanging by a thread.
    Do all pilots cheat? No. But, no doubt after being on working trips with my husband, other married pilots hit on me when DH wasn’t around. That made me disgusted. I also saw how they drink, laugh, eat and socialize for hours after they land before they leave again the next day. Trust me, the bottom line is this: They are gone so much, they miss home/wife/family etc…that some aren’t able to keep thier dick in their pants or at least they start emotional affairs online or with others. They DO have more opportunity to do this and many FA’s do their job soley to meet pilots. On a layover I listened to an FA talk about which pilot she was screwing, that she and he were married to others and how he even cheated on HER with another FA!! This was to my face in a bar at the hotel, then she left and a pilot (married) hit on me.
    So, let me tell you, I saw it all just like I imagined at home before I left for the trip and this was after my husband did what he did. I still don’t trust him….needless to say.

  5. Carrie, that is really terrible! My experiences have been completely different though. I have been on a ton of trips with Bf and have never seen any of this stuff happening for myself. Bf does tell me a few shocking stories, but I honestly feel you hear a few of those in any industry.

    When I worked in an office, two of my co-workers were disciplined (one of them fired) for letting themselves into the office premesis after hours to screw on the boss’s desk! Both of them were in long-term relationships with other people.

    I went to a business conference in a hotel, and one of my (engaged) co-workers hit on me, and even plagued me with calls to my room (the receptionist told him which room I was in!!!) I told him that I was not interested, that I had Bf… His response was that he was “with someone too-so what!?”

    One of my best friends boyfriend of about 3 years was screwing a married mother of 2 behind her back-the other woman would meet him in a lay-by for a quick shag in the car after dropping her daughter of to a ballet class!

    If you are the cheating type, you really don’t need to be a pilot or an FA to find opportunities to cheat. I guarantee that those married pilots that hit on you would probably still hit on you if they were visiting your house as a plumber.

    I recommend that you try to either trust your man, or leave him-don’t put yourself through the constant doubt and emotional torture if the trust is not there.

    Children are a reason to try harder at making a relationship work; but they are not ultimately a reason to stay with someone that makes you miserable; as you will only end up making them miserable too.

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