Partner of a Pilot
The Candid Diary of an Airline Pilot’s Girlfriend

Trip Jealousy


I am REALLY struggling with Bf’s chosen occupation at the moment. I guess you could call it a weak month. I love Bf, but I loath him going away on long haul trips.

I don’t know if it’s just my hormones, and the fact that I’m a bit down about the festive season (especially as everyone else seems to be SO fired up about it)… But I am finding myself questioning whether or not I could live like this for the rest of my life.

It feels like Bf has 2 lives, but that I am only included in one of these lives.

I feel like I represent responsibility, and boundaries, whilst his other life is escapism. I constantly feel like our life inhibits him from having more fun in his escapist life.

I also can’t help wondering if I am just coping with it particularly badly at the moment, or whether most longhaul partners/wives feel this way, and in fact I am normal.

I feel completely inadequate when I read discussion threads in forums like Jetgirls where these women seem to be so happy and 100% trusting about the long-haul lifestyle.

I love Bf, and trust him to a certain extent, but I’m a realist too. I know that given the holiday atmosphere, the type of women his airline seem to have working with him. Opportunities are there, and you have to be strong to permanently keep a clean record-trust wise.

For example, he came back from his most recent trip, where the other FO had cheated on his wife with a hostie after a heavy night drinking. The guy was completely gutted the next day, and obviously regretted his indiscretion. Bf had come back to the hotel early, as he was not drinking, but heard all the crew gossip the next day.

Another (married) hostie, was busy announcing to the whole crew (including 3 male pilots, and 2 straight male flight attendants) about how much she LOVED giving blow jobs, and how great she is at giving head!

I was just gob smacked! I can’t help wondering why she felt that these people she didn’t even know, needed this information, or how her husband would’ve felt to hear her talking this way?

I know that this goes on in any industry, but in his industry, he is constantly going on holiday with them, in environments where events often seem to be fuelled by binge drinking. Even if Bf doesn’t drink, which thankfully he doesn’t when he’s away any more, he’s still surrounded by drunk and often horny women with low moral values.

I am genuinely not normally a jealous person; but I am really struggling to come to terms with what is considered ‘acceptable’ by some of his co-workers. I can’t help but feel that over time he may get more and more de-sensitised to it, and the ideas will become more normalised.

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