I’m with you, I hope for your sake that this doesn’t become an option, but then the fact that he’s gone ahead and applied against your wishes and feelings – seems a bit ???

As you said though, if this more of a whim than a serious job hunt then fair enough. I guess it could be a nice ego boost to get a few offers, even if he’s not going to necessarily take one…

I can’t help wondering how serious he actually is about this. He’s posted applications, and chatted to a few guys from some of these airlines; but he is not looking with the same determination that I know he would if he were very very serious about job-hunting.

That said, I’m dreading the prospect of any of these airlines getting back to him; then the real drama will begin. Here’s to hoping we hear nothing back

Quite shocked by this post! It’s always been clear to your partner how important your career is to you – and the fact that you have already made sacrifices in the past means that he should be more sensitive to not stinting your career growth further, if anything.

You say you don’t want to hold him back – but what about holding you back?

“Well, you could probably buy a marriage certificate online!”

Obviously he was joking, he followed it up with

“Okay, we’ll scrap that idea, and I’ll look at airlines in countries without those laws”

How to make me feel great eh?

I’m hoping that it all works out for the best. But no, you’re not selfish!

Regarding the “grass is greener” syndrom, just wait a bit. You can also leave him search a bit, and discover what the other job could be. If it’s outside the airline industry, he will probably realize how different it is… and not always positively. Does he really want to be that much away from home ? A private-jet-driver I know slept away from home 18 nights over the last month… can an airline guy say so ?

I know that reality WILL kick in eventually; because he’s not an irrational or unreasonable man; but I just feel like shaking him at the moment-because he clearly hasn’t researched it properly. I think he’s just doing what Elsja’s man is doing; which is clogging up the whole recruitment pot with half-arsed applications that may not even be viable! GRRRR!

Oh, and a BIG THANK YOU to everyone who has left these comments. I’m very touched that you’ve all taken the time to respond with such useful information, or shared your own personal experiences, or provided me with supportive comments. It really is a big help!

Regarding the whole step-child relationship, he has good days and bad days. Some days he is utterly amazing with them; better than a lot of biological fathers; and other days he really ‘Struggles’ (note the capital S). Whilst I’ve been ill, and he’s been more responsible for their day-to-day care; he has struggled with it more-because of the burden of responsibility being greater.

As you know, pilot’s err towards the selfish side of the spectrum, and they don’t like to be held back by their wives and girlfriends; (hence his flippant remark about me just taking a career sabbatical) let alone children, and step-children! I guess only time will tell how this one will pan out-but OF COURSE I will keep you posted! LOL! Oh, and I think I’d turn down a ring on my finger if the only reason it were proposed were to scratch a career itch of his-hardly romantic!

Not really very nice out there in many ways, really…