Congratulations ! on the baby. I wish you a nice mellow pregnancy and delivery !

I detect that you have some reason to be wondering about your Husbands fidelity…

I hope you are wrong as well.

Can you share what it is that has made you feel that way ?

Hugs
OKDK7

I dont know how to start, really. I am a very private person same as my pilot husband and i am 3 months pregnant right now. We`ve been married for almost four years. I just want to let this get out of my chest as i dont really have friends here in HK to talk about this. So, maybe this is Ok. Honestly, nothing really change in our relationship, except that we dont have sex as often as before. We are still very happy and excited about our baby. Its our first. Maybe i am just being paranoid or its just the hormones raging coz i`ve never really feel this gut wrenching feeling that my husband is maybe cheating on me. I dont know.. I really hope he is not because i will never forgive him if he ever did. I love him with all my heart but i wont hesitate devorcing him coz i wont be able to live with someone who cheated on me. I was cheated already before he meet me, it was my 3 yrs relationship with my exbf. He was cheating on me for 2 yrs and i didnt even know!! I am a very trusty person. He knows i was broken hearted when he met me thats why when he told me he loves me already i couldnt say the same to him coz i needed more time. The funny thing is, everything is open to me, his phone, his computer, except that we dont really give our emails password to each other because we think its our own privacy. Hope, im wrong and dont find out anything at the end of my pregnancy. That would suck really bad. Thanks a lot for this blog, i didnt know that some FA`s are flirtatious and some Pilots are the same too. Oh well, i will deal with anything when the time comes because thats what i`ve always done in my life… xxx

You might like to read my experience here: http://partnerofapilot.wordpress.com/2009/02/13/your-bullets-cannot-harm-me-my-wings-are-like-a-shield-of-steel/

I also recommend this support group, there is a thread in there by women who’ve been cheated on by their pilots: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=2444761099

I hope you figure it all out
x

The day he got accepted by Turkish Airlines I cried. It was my nightmare. It’s indeed giving a bar to a alcoholic. I am so afraid that when he starts flying, despite his promises, he will cheat as much as he can. The last year was not exactly the proof that he can stay loyal. He wants to marry me as soon he comes back from the training and I don’t know what to do. Believe in him or not. We’ve been together 4 years and I sacrificed, compromised, forgiven, moved to another city for him and have supported him in every way, because there is so much love. On one side I can’t accept it and I have been spying in his email etc. On the other side I can’t give him up, not now. And be the biggest loser in the world while some gold digging chick will marry him in the end (this is Turkey, girls are generally not financially independant and need to find a rich husband). What should I do? I am torn…

I’ve seen women throw themselves at my husband in airports. It’s unbelievable. I can see where a man who isn’t secure with himself for whatever reason, would get caught up in the fantasy of all of it but it’s no excuse for betraying the person that is back home.

We are the ones who keep the home fires burning. We take care of home repairs, car repairs, school conferences, doctors appointments and such. This isn’t seen my all of these women who are smitten with a man in uniform.

The Internet doesn’t help either. There was a time when a pilot would have to find someone to cheat with while laying and often it just wasn’t worth the hassle and the energy. Times have changed. Now they can have the meeting set up before they ever leave the house.

I don’t think pilots cheat anymore than anyone else. The opportunity is there and the women are there but cheating comes from somewhere inside of the cheater. It has nothing to do with the spouse or any outside factors. It’s a selfish and self serving act.

In 18 years of marriage I have never suspected much less confirmed my husband has cheated. If he has or does, I hope I never know.

reminiscing about the roller-coaster of feelings I had about how I’d cope with being an airline pilots girlfriend before he was qualified

I stand by my statement. from this post’s comments ( http://partnerofapilot.wordpress.com/2007/12/19/reminiscing-about-the-roller-coaster-of-feelings-i-had-about-how-id-cope-with-being-an-airline-pilots-girlfriend-before-he-was-qualified/ ) that not all pilot relationships are doomed. We tend to hear about the more dramatic stories rather than the ones that stay faithfully married for 40 years.

Bad news just makes for a ‘better story’. Sure there are dirt bags out there who happen to be pilots, there are also good guys out there who happen to be pilots. Hopefully you have fine tuned your ‘a-hole detector’ after your last experience, and can spot a liar at 20 paces now.

Try not to become too jaded or punish your current man for your exe’s mistakes. If you don’t trust him-ask yourself why. If he has given you reason-then stay on top of it. What did he say about the stuff in his inbox?

It may be that your husband is really sorry and is telling the truth, but I think if it was me I would want to see evidence that he has removed his profile and that he isn’t signed up to anything else like that. My BF has so much spare time its ridiculous and spends 80% of it glued to his laptop and I know he looks at porn. He was signed up to something and I found out and we very nearly split up over it, but I could tell he was really sorry and he hasn’t done it since (I check!!). If I’m 100% honest I’ve never been able to get the trust back completely but I think that’s just life. It’s even harder to deal with when your partner is away from you for long periods of time.

If you wanted to be really devious you could create your own false profile and contact him to see if he does speak to other women but that’s not really being constructive. But for your own peace of mind you need to get to the bottom of exactly what he’s been up to and whether he is prepared to stop and act like a responsible husband and father. if not then you are much better off without him, you deserve to be happy.

Try to hold on to your self esteem Carrie, the stronger you are about it the more chance you have of working things out with your husband.